Brooke Preston
@brookepreston.bsky.social
Comedy writer, author, host. Irrevocably Midwestern.
Reposted by Brooke Preston
The most important thing to remember about Bad Bunny performing at the Super Bowl is that Puerto Rico is a colony whose residents are US citizens and pay taxes but don't get to vote for the president, have no voting representation in Congress,
October 2, 2025 at 3:13 PM
The most important thing to remember about Bad Bunny performing at the Super Bowl is that Puerto Rico is a colony whose residents are US citizens and pay taxes but don't get to vote for the president, have no voting representation in Congress,
“Thank you to my therapist, and gay people, I love you.” —Ariana Grande, just now, iconically
September 8, 2025 at 2:44 AM
“Thank you to my therapist, and gay people, I love you.” —Ariana Grande, just now, iconically
Reposted by Brooke Preston
Get me to God’s country
March 31, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Get me to God’s country
Coldplay’s been trying to fix us all for decades and they finally did it.
Great work, fellas.
Great work, fellas.
July 19, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Coldplay’s been trying to fix us all for decades and they finally did it.
Great work, fellas.
Great work, fellas.
Look, I know things are dire out here, but we must join together as one America to agree that we absolutely under no circumstances can just give up and start calling cantaloupes “lopes”.
June 29, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Look, I know things are dire out here, but we must join together as one America to agree that we absolutely under no circumstances can just give up and start calling cantaloupes “lopes”.
If your 10 Best movies of the 21st century includes *no* comedies, you’re a sad person who hates joy.
Fight. Me.
Fight. Me.
June 25, 2025 at 11:44 PM
If your 10 Best movies of the 21st century includes *no* comedies, you’re a sad person who hates joy.
Fight. Me.
Fight. Me.
I’m officially “we needed this rain” years old.
June 25, 2025 at 7:07 PM
I’m officially “we needed this rain” years old.
My 12-year old has a little cold, so I told her to make me a little grocery list of comfort items since I am headed to the store. 10 minutes later she sends me this ”list”—this generation is built different. 😂🫶🏼
June 4, 2025 at 3:22 PM
My 12-year old has a little cold, so I told her to make me a little grocery list of comfort items since I am headed to the store. 10 minutes later she sends me this ”list”—this generation is built different. 😂🫶🏼
Good afternoon to everyone except the neighbor who gave their young child a megaphone in the middle of this workday to repeatedly scream: “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT, ABBY, HEY AAAAAABBY WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?”
June 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Good afternoon to everyone except the neighbor who gave their young child a megaphone in the middle of this workday to repeatedly scream: “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT, ABBY, HEY AAAAAABBY WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?”
My 12 year-old: “Are you going to be a cool grandma, like ‘come buy my coffin with me!’” ☠️
June 3, 2025 at 3:55 PM
My 12 year-old: “Are you going to be a cool grandma, like ‘come buy my coffin with me!’” ☠️
My beloved neighbor friend gifted me a lovely potted spider plant start from her own plant, supported in the gift bag by three lil canned spicy mango margaritas — l have finally achieved peak suburb.
May 28, 2025 at 2:45 PM
My beloved neighbor friend gifted me a lovely potted spider plant start from her own plant, supported in the gift bag by three lil canned spicy mango margaritas — l have finally achieved peak suburb.
Imagine Charlie & the Chocolate Factory from Charlie’s Mom’s POV: after emptying his and 3 other geriatrics’ bedpans for years and her being the sole earner, Grampa Joe is coaxed out of bed by a free factory tour, up dancing within *seconds*. Charlie then chooses him, not her, as his +1.
Ice cold.
Ice cold.
April 28, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Imagine Charlie & the Chocolate Factory from Charlie’s Mom’s POV: after emptying his and 3 other geriatrics’ bedpans for years and her being the sole earner, Grampa Joe is coaxed out of bed by a free factory tour, up dancing within *seconds*. Charlie then chooses him, not her, as his +1.
Ice cold.
Ice cold.
Reposted by Brooke Preston
The hardest part of starting over on a new platform is losing the 10k followers and all the engagement and relationships I worked so hard to build for 15 years. So if you like #comedy #comedywriting #humor #humorwriters #taylorswift #politics #midwest life #broadway etc, hiiiiiiiii 👋🏼
November 20, 2024 at 3:29 PM
The hardest part of starting over on a new platform is losing the 10k followers and all the engagement and relationships I worked so hard to build for 15 years. So if you like #comedy #comedywriting #humor #humorwriters #taylorswift #politics #midwest life #broadway etc, hiiiiiiiii 👋🏼
The hardest part of starting over on a new platform is losing the 10k followers and all the engagement and relationships I worked so hard to build for 15 years. So if you like #comedy #comedywriting #humor #humorwriters #taylorswift #politics #midwest life #broadway etc, hiiiiiiiii 👋🏼
November 20, 2024 at 3:29 PM
The hardest part of starting over on a new platform is losing the 10k followers and all the engagement and relationships I worked so hard to build for 15 years. So if you like #comedy #comedywriting #humor #humorwriters #taylorswift #politics #midwest life #broadway etc, hiiiiiiiii 👋🏼
Reposted by Brooke Preston
a pair of baby shoes with a ton of wear and tear on em tells a pretty sad story too. what could this baby have been running from
October 5, 2023 at 11:12 PM
a pair of baby shoes with a ton of wear and tear on em tells a pretty sad story too. what could this baby have been running from
Reposted by Brooke Preston
Powerful front page of tomorrow's edition of The Daily Tar Heel, UNC's student newspaper. From text messages sent and received by UNC students yesterday.
August 30, 2023 at 12:59 AM
Powerful front page of tomorrow's edition of The Daily Tar Heel, UNC's student newspaper. From text messages sent and received by UNC students yesterday.
Hot take: Say what you will about Ohio but Midwesterners are functional as heyellll. Back from California which, while fun and beautiful, is full of people who cannot organize a tidy line, manage a pop-up event’s reservations or design a user-friendly airport to save their gorgeous, sun-kissed lives
July 26, 2023 at 3:19 PM
Hot take: Say what you will about Ohio but Midwesterners are functional as heyellll. Back from California which, while fun and beautiful, is full of people who cannot organize a tidy line, manage a pop-up event’s reservations or design a user-friendly airport to save their gorgeous, sun-kissed lives
Taking my daughter and her bff to Barbie, but our flight didn’t get in until 3am last night after multiple delays, so mentally my Kenergy is here
July 25, 2023 at 6:39 PM
Taking my daughter and her bff to Barbie, but our flight didn’t get in until 3am last night after multiple delays, so mentally my Kenergy is here
Reposted by Brooke Preston
Congratulations to all of the Emmy nominees who created the things we are celebrating and to none of the studio execs who are reaping the benefits of their work without sharing the wealth.
July 12, 2023 at 9:47 PM
Congratulations to all of the Emmy nominees who created the things we are celebrating and to none of the studio execs who are reaping the benefits of their work without sharing the wealth.
Many visitors to the Midwest are surprised to learn that our ATMs exclusively dispense Kohl’s Cash.
July 8, 2023 at 7:01 PM
Many visitors to the Midwest are surprised to learn that our ATMs exclusively dispense Kohl’s Cash.
Everytime you rescue a good and funny person from Twitter with an invite code, an angel gets its wings.
July 7, 2023 at 2:45 AM
Everytime you rescue a good and funny person from Twitter with an invite code, an angel gets its wings.
Social media platforms have suddenly entered their Winston Bishop prank era…they’re all either wayyy too big or wayyy too small.
And we’re all getting Rhonda’d.
And we’re all getting Rhonda’d.
July 6, 2023 at 3:35 AM
Social media platforms have suddenly entered their Winston Bishop prank era…they’re all either wayyy too big or wayyy too small.
And we’re all getting Rhonda’d.
And we’re all getting Rhonda’d.
You know what would be cool as hell? If any/all the actors/writers from wga/sag who WOULD have been at #sdcc comic-con doing panels and signings came anyway but to picket outside. Fans (like my 10 year old) would still get to see them as they’d dreamed, they don’t scab, bring huge press to the cause
July 6, 2023 at 1:58 AM
You know what would be cool as hell? If any/all the actors/writers from wga/sag who WOULD have been at #sdcc comic-con doing panels and signings came anyway but to picket outside. Fans (like my 10 year old) would still get to see them as they’d dreamed, they don’t scab, bring huge press to the cause