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amutepiggy.bsky.social
alexis simpson
@amutepiggy.bsky.social
22K followers 1.3K following 22K posts
i'll take your money, but i'm not gonna plow your driveway

SAG-AFTRA ✊ she/her sobriety date 5/8/2006

if u make a link to your own posts in bio, does it get clicked on? https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:opytet572euebuzzufm4inyf/feed/aaafh4abgv5o4
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amutepiggy.bsky.social
moar
Selfie of me sitting in a different chair while Olive, an orange tabby cat, sits in my lap and stairs off in the space. Photo is shot from below so Olive looks especially large.
November 14, 2025 at 7:28 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
every day
Photo of me sitting with Olive, an orange tabby cat, laying on my chest. She is turned towards the camera and her eyelids are slightly drooped.
November 14, 2025 at 4:09 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
Post a bird to support @sbworkersunited.org and warn your followers not to buy Starbucks for the duration of the strike 🪶
Photo of a black chicken with long fluffy feathers. It might be a silkie but I don't know
November 14, 2025 at 4:29 AM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
here's a convoluted one about getting an erection at the dentist
A dentist walks in with a needle to give Kasten a shot of Novocain. Kasten says, "No way! No needles! I hate needles!" The dentist starts hooking up the nitrous oxide and Kasten says, "No! No! I can't do the gas thing, either!" pill?" The dentist says, "Can you take a Kasten says, "Fine." The dentist reaches into a drawer, takes out a pill and says, "Here's a Viagra." Kasten says, "Wow. I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer." The dentist says, "It doesn't. But it'll going to give you something to hold on to while I'm yanking out your tooth."
November 14, 2025 at 3:20 AM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
ok
Why's "bra" singular and "panties" plural? For the same reason that when you take a shit you actually leave one.
November 14, 2025 at 3:17 AM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
It appears that epstein subscribed to an aol joke email list that appears to be nothing but Classic Dirty Boomer Humor jokes
https://splendorous-chi 58 HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_029752001 Page From: jokeland@aol.com To: jokeland@aol.com; Subject: a JokeLand E-Mail Sent: 5/9/2015 7:17:32 PM 1 A guy's walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City and he runs into a hooker. He says, "How much?" She says "A hundred bucks." He says, "All right." They climb down under the boardwalk and he bangs her. The next night, he runs into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time while he's banging her, she blasts two incredible farts. When they get done, he hands her a hundred and twenty dollars. She says, "What's the extra twenty?" He says, "That's for blowing the sand off my balls."
November 14, 2025 at 3:15 AM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
absolutely insane to be caught writing this article IMMEDIATELY after the latest GOP pedophile evidence dump
Screenshot of an Atlantic article The Atlantic Subscribe Give a year of The Atlantic, and we'll include our signature tote for free. IDEAS The Left's New Moralism Will Backfire Under Trump, progressives have embraced the rhetoric of "moral clarity." It won't help their cause. By Thomas Chatterton Williams
November 14, 2025 at 12:06 AM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
i knew it
Epstein Document Search jeremy renner All folders 25 results Search Showing 25 of 35 results (482ms)
November 13, 2025 at 11:52 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
Screenshot from the If Books Could Kill podcast patreon Listen in app If Books Could Kill Mile High Club Glenn Kessler Retire B*tch Sep 26, 2024
November 13, 2025 at 7:15 AM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
as someone who spent a few years doing drugs and having "mental breakthroughs" before winding up in rehab.... this guy was dumb as rocks lol
From: jeffrey E. <jeevacation@gmail.com <mailto:jeevacation@gmail.com> > Date: Mon, Jan 8, 2018 at 2:19 PM Subject: Fwd: radical breakthrough To: jeffrey epstein <jeevacation@gmail.com <mailto:jeevacation@gmail.com> > 1 beards and long hair are meant to catch and hold smells. ? fft . for sound. equivament. does it make a coeherent concept.? 2. visiual system cohernant image. making a coherentt sound. . ? 3. a mental object ie mobject. action on mental objects. ? 4. hope opposite of despair. bias internal system reserves. . accesing 5. writing is unnatural. assymentrc speed. not good for eveeryone. linear. slow. rule based. 6. nose test. telepathy. 7 skin as part of brain? memebrane. ? 8. ideas or brain connections as knots. slices. tangles links loops. space knottted. and the speed of light simply mean one time around obviously a constant. is 9. intelltignce on surface needs larger surface area. hence replication. . 10. does the eye tranmsit information. 11/ fear is pain in the future. . 12. music is horizontal and vertical inforamtion? melody prosgy harmony all amials. can it be looked at to reengineer the brain. harmony FFT. symphonic learning.
November 13, 2025 at 7:02 AM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
photo from the NYT editorial decision room
Still from the Kamp Krusty episode of The Simpsons. Mr Black, Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney sit around a fancy table laid with a sumptuous meal sipping brandy. Mr Black says "Gentlemen, to evil."
November 12, 2025 at 10:58 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
why is he Like This
Photo of Third Cat, a white and gray tabby cat, laying on the edge of a low-to-the-ground bed frame. He is kind of curled up on his side with three of his legs intertwined and his fourth leg dangling off the side. He looks very comfortable. He also looks like a big dummy.
November 12, 2025 at 6:40 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
reposting the image from above to include alt text
Katherine Boyle AZ ... @KTmBoyle My son came home with a Pre-K report card; I read it and was thrilled. My husband read it and was baffled. I read it and anchored on the lines that really matter: "He excels quickly in all his math assignments and has mastered the math and reading concepts presented." My husband focused on the extra full page on "social emotional growth" commentary and looked confused the whole time. "What does any of this mean?" "Nothing," I said. "Ignore it." And then that evening we explained to our son the lesson that is going to get him through his life: "People will put up with many things if you are excellent at math. You're so good at math. We're proud of you." And that was that.
November 11, 2025 at 11:32 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
reading theory
picture of the part of package of the Yummy! brand Dino Buddies chicken nuggets (purple box, thank YOU) that shows the cooking instructions.
November 11, 2025 at 11:06 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
i will never log off
Screenshot showing i have one of the stechlab labels Posts a lot: more than 100 times yesterday. Appeal In the last 24 hrs this account made more than 100 posts or replies Source: @stechlab-labels.bsky... Expires in 5h
November 11, 2025 at 5:22 AM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
she always knows right when i want to get up
Photo of me sitting in a blue armchair. I'm wearing a black hoodie with the hood up. Olive, an orange tabby cat, is draped across my chest with her paws dangling over my arm. She is very pleased with herself.
November 10, 2025 at 7:43 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
Homer Simpson standing next to Marge, who is holding Maggie, speaking to Bart and Lisa. His eyes are closed as he imparts his wisdom. He is labelled "SENATE DEMOCRATS." We tried standing up to trump, and we failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
November 10, 2025 at 5:54 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
Photo Of Third Cat, a grey and white tabby, curled up on some black shirts on top of a dresser.
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 AM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
Build Back Better
Photo of my 4yo using a toy wrench on a cable attached to the outside of my house. She is wearing a yellow construction hat and a gray youth soccer jersey that belonged to her uncle. The team was sponsored by Shout stain remover i guess, so there is a Shout logo on the sleeve.
November 9, 2025 at 7:57 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
UPDATE
Third Cat, a grey and white tabby cat, lays next to an open laptop computer that is on my lap.
November 9, 2025 at 6:30 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
just an incredible asshole move
Photo of Third Cat, a grey and white tabby cat, sitting on a closed laptop that's on my lap as i lay in bed.
November 9, 2025 at 6:27 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
elon musks's stupid horny for ai tweet, altered. Elon Musk @elonmusk 7h Grok Imagine prompt: She smiles and says "I will always love you" Image is of ET the alien dressed up as a human woman. 4.2k comments 3.5k reposts 23k likes 3.4 million views
November 9, 2025 at 1:00 AM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
Zohran Mamdani official campaign logo but it says "ANDREW CUOMO'S WHITE ForD Bronco"
November 8, 2025 at 11:28 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
please
Logo ade using the Zohran for NYC generator Yellow text with red shadow on a blue background. PLEASE CLAP FOR Jeb!
November 8, 2025 at 9:49 PM
amutepiggy.bsky.social
she's the real star
Photo of Olive the orange tabby cat looking up at me while she's curled up next to my feet.
November 7, 2025 at 7:46 PM