alexis simpson
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amutepiggy.bsky.social
alexis simpson
@amutepiggy.bsky.social
i'll take your money, but i'm not gonna plow your driveway

SAG-AFTRA ✊ she/her sobriety date 5/8/2006

if u make a link to your own posts in bio, does it get clicked on? https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:opytet572euebuzzufm4inyf/feed/aaafh4abgv5o4
Pinned
reskeet if you think @mcuban.bsky.social should give @dumb.baby one million dollars
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just took a gender affirming dump
at ur moms house
November 12, 2025 at 5:56 AM
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good news! I am now offering my services as a bee release professional for your childhood bully's wedding
November 12, 2025 at 2:21 AM
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Incredible things are happening on local news
November 12, 2025 at 6:32 AM
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inventing a new kind of computer that is just there to compute and not pretend to think or trick you into believing it can feel

calling it abacus 2
November 12, 2025 at 6:26 AM
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i should call her
February 12, 2025 at 1:09 AM
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i don’t need the northern lights. i can just stare at the sun any time. way better
November 12, 2025 at 4:44 AM
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smart to ignore assignment miami beach, even though it has the best lassard story
November 12, 2025 at 3:47 AM
i would like a double chin [PROLONGED, UPSETTING HACKING COUGH] excuse me. a double chinchilla
November 12, 2025 at 3:58 AM
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My feed right now
November 12, 2025 at 3:04 AM
you don't have to read the article. the pope's four favorite movies are Police Academy 2-4 and Police Academy 6
November 12, 2025 at 3:43 AM
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Someone on here said that videogames offer a fantasy of predictable rewards for one's work, which in real life might not be rewarded at all. I think about it a lot!
I don't understand how video game market can support so many farming games. Do young people yearn for the fields?
August 2, 2025 at 2:05 PM
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Nevermind, capitalism is right.
November 12, 2025 at 1:18 AM
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The lines that bound us

The call
February 24, 2025 at 11:06 AM
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this is a rich text but my favorite part is that despite being presumably good at math, her husband is so illiterate that he cannot read a baby's report card
I think the belief by the powerful that "people will put up with many things if you are excellent at math" is incredibly revealing in terms of understanding How We Got Here
November 11, 2025 at 11:51 PM
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wood you like to come to my arbor day party?
November 11, 2025 at 10:54 PM
whaddup bluesky who has two thumbs and got hit in the eye by my child's bicycle handle
November 12, 2025 at 2:28 AM
fiona apple looks nice but fiona windows is cheaper
November 11, 2025 at 11:49 PM
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I passed the bar exam easily but that’s because as an adult I know how to vet reliable shamans. Kim is built different I guess 🤷‍♂️
Kim Kardashian shares her frustration in a new TikTok after failing the California bar exam, calling out psychics who told her she’d pass.
November 11, 2025 at 11:45 PM
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Kendrick, Joyce Carol Oates, Menswear Guy, and Isaac Chotiner are the Voltron of People You Don't Want Focusing on You
November 11, 2025 at 7:37 PM
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one thing kim davis achieved which can never be taken away from her is defying every expectation that you will reach the top of her head with one more slight scroll up
November 11, 2025 at 7:42 PM
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i know i keep posting this and then deleting it out of self-consciousness or whatever, and i know everything is awful for everyone, but... if you can. things get more complicated for us every day.
Support Charlotte T
Support Charlotte T
ko-fi.com
November 11, 2025 at 8:47 AM
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I ❤️ Ruining the Workplace
November 11, 2025 at 6:58 PM
i still don't trust him but i do like to see him talk this way!
Jeffries: "It's unbelievable that for 7 plus weeks Rep.-elect Adelita Grijalva has been denied the ability to serve more than 800,000 people in Arizona because Republicans are running a pedophile protection program."
November 11, 2025 at 11:34 PM
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I've seen Good Will Hunting, and I think it's very clear that people will not put up with you if you're poor and good at math
November 11, 2025 at 11:31 PM
OP (not Sam, the Katherine lady) is also confusing "are excellent at math" with "are rich"
I think the belief by the powerful that "people will put up with many things if you are excellent at math" is incredibly revealing in terms of understanding How We Got Here
November 11, 2025 at 11:29 PM