Ali Garfinkel
@aligarchy.bsky.social
tv/film/game writer 📍 LA | NY
Pinned
Ali Garfinkel
@aligarchy.bsky.social
· Jul 3
so disappointed after seeing this photo & realizing that's a third llama in the back & not the arm of the right llama ringing a little bell
and for my nighttime sweet treat: 2 berry tums
November 23, 2025 at 3:25 AM
and for my nighttime sweet treat: 2 berry tums
"frankenstein's creature could get it" "frankenstein's creature is hot" ok but frankenstein's creature also look like his breath stink
November 22, 2025 at 12:34 AM
"frankenstein's creature could get it" "frankenstein's creature is hot" ok but frankenstein's creature also look like his breath stink
christians are like "i'm not afraid to die bc i'll meet jesus" but idk there'll probably be a line right? surely there'll be a wait? and how much time will you actually get with him? enough for dinner or is it just a meet and greet? what if the guys from the crusades are hogging all the jesus? wha
November 17, 2025 at 1:08 AM
christians are like "i'm not afraid to die bc i'll meet jesus" but idk there'll probably be a line right? surely there'll be a wait? and how much time will you actually get with him? enough for dinner or is it just a meet and greet? what if the guys from the crusades are hogging all the jesus? wha
incredible how one small shart can create a lifetime of trauma
November 12, 2025 at 9:16 PM
incredible how one small shart can create a lifetime of trauma
must be the microplastics in my brain that are making me so snacky
November 7, 2025 at 2:11 AM
must be the microplastics in my brain that are making me so snacky
*taking a handful of candy from every trick-or-treater who comes to my door* tariffs
October 31, 2025 at 9:00 AM
*taking a handful of candy from every trick-or-treater who comes to my door* tariffs
why is every sour candy maker such a pussy
October 21, 2025 at 3:06 AM
why is every sour candy maker such a pussy
centuries and centuries of human development simply to end up exactly how we've always been
September 14, 2025 at 4:23 AM
centuries and centuries of human development simply to end up exactly how we've always been
the germans don't do bloopers, they do krauttakes
September 4, 2025 at 2:27 AM
the germans don't do bloopers, they do krauttakes
Reposted by Ali Garfinkel
The Facebook people are here now (derogatory)
January 14, 2025 at 3:11 PM
The Facebook people are here now (derogatory)
a burger king commercial came on and in it were two older people wearing those paper crowns and without looking away from the screen my mom just goes "if you ever see me wearing a burger king crown i want you to shoot me on the spot. don't even let me explain."
August 16, 2025 at 4:36 PM
a burger king commercial came on and in it were two older people wearing those paper crowns and without looking away from the screen my mom just goes "if you ever see me wearing a burger king crown i want you to shoot me on the spot. don't even let me explain."
"too many people have main character syndrome" not me. i love being an npc. just idly standing around, watching the birds. oh you going on a quest? can you bring me back something
July 18, 2025 at 5:20 AM
"too many people have main character syndrome" not me. i love being an npc. just idly standing around, watching the birds. oh you going on a quest? can you bring me back something
hey did you know that if you knock down a wasp's nest it may be filled with spiders? did you know that? because i didn't know that. i didn't know that until it hit the ground and exploded on my bare feet
July 10, 2025 at 11:49 PM
hey did you know that if you knock down a wasp's nest it may be filled with spiders? did you know that? because i didn't know that. i didn't know that until it hit the ground and exploded on my bare feet
left one of my knees unshaven so i could have something to pet
June 26, 2025 at 11:51 PM
left one of my knees unshaven so i could have something to pet
[the devil, as kristi noem's fingertips slip through his grasp]: some day, my love
June 18, 2025 at 2:07 AM
[the devil, as kristi noem's fingertips slip through his grasp]: some day, my love
Reposted by Ali Garfinkel
did we really need to invent gogurt? is regular yogurt not already portable enough?
May 27, 2025 at 2:47 PM
did we really need to invent gogurt? is regular yogurt not already portable enough?
condensation is so pathetic like WHAT are u crying about u are a GLASS
June 1, 2025 at 4:33 AM
condensation is so pathetic like WHAT are u crying about u are a GLASS
turned 37 today which, in los angeles, qualifies me for a senior discount
May 29, 2025 at 1:10 AM
turned 37 today which, in los angeles, qualifies me for a senior discount
every painting from the 1800s is like ok girl get them titties out
May 25, 2025 at 7:45 PM
every painting from the 1800s is like ok girl get them titties out
when i say i’m enjoying a tv series and the person i’m talking to is like ‘you should read the books next’ it’s like sorry i’m watching 18 hours of television a day when would i possibly have time for a book
May 22, 2025 at 9:07 PM
when i say i’m enjoying a tv series and the person i’m talking to is like ‘you should read the books next’ it’s like sorry i’m watching 18 hours of television a day when would i possibly have time for a book
Reposted by Ali Garfinkel
sorry i’m late bro there were enemies nearby and i couldn’t fast travel
May 19, 2025 at 2:46 AM
sorry i’m late bro there were enemies nearby and i couldn’t fast travel
happy mother's day to the woman who will still swaddle me upon request
May 12, 2025 at 12:27 AM
happy mother's day to the woman who will still swaddle me upon request
look when it comes to sailor moon personally i would not be jazzed if my life were in danger and a masked tuxedo man in a cape and top hat showed up throwing flowers and reciting poetry
May 11, 2025 at 1:59 AM
look when it comes to sailor moon personally i would not be jazzed if my life were in danger and a masked tuxedo man in a cape and top hat showed up throwing flowers and reciting poetry