(CMDR) Alan Crowe
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alancrowe.bsky.social
(CMDR) Alan Crowe
@alancrowe.bsky.social
150 followers 580 following 810 posts
Dad (of humans and a canine). Husband. IT Infrastructure Consultant / Professional Nerd. Coffee addict. Lover of bacon. Yes sir, I can boogie. #Scotland
#EliteDangerous
Formerly @alancrowe73 on the hellsite.
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alancrowe.bsky.social
The hell ones are great.
A Far Side cartoon depicting a scene in hell. Several devils are cracking whips. Below them, some people are holding mugs, and one person is filling his cup from a dispenser. In the caption, one of the people holding a mug says to another "Oh man! The coffee's cold! They thought of everything!"
December 13, 2025 at 12:38 AM
alancrowe.bsky.social
Continuing on the dog theme, I always loved this one.
A Far side cartoon. In the cartoon, a scientist is walking down the street wearing an odd-looking helmet, covered in antennae and flashing lights. Several dogs are pictured around him running, chasing a car, leaning on a fence and sitting on a lawn. All of the dogs have speech bubbles containing the word "Hey!" one or more times. The caption reads "Donning his new canine decoder, Professor Schwartzman becomes the first human being on Earth to hear what barking dogs are actually saying."
December 13, 2025 at 12:20 AM
alancrowe.bsky.social
A two panel collage of a dog looking at a drawing of a computer monitor. In the first panel the dog is looking at the monitor saying "What a lovely day on the inter[net]." In the second panel, the dog is looking at the reader saying "Good Lord."
December 12, 2025 at 7:26 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
Just had a read through the thread, and clicked on the link to the Just Giving page to see where it was at. Screenshot below.

It is still open if you can afford to throw in a donation: www.justgiving.com/fundraising/...
Screenshot of a just giving page in memory of Amelia Roberts, who died suddenly as a result of drug-resistant epilepsy in 2018. The current total is over half a million pounds against a target of £25000. The page address is https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/debbieroberts21 of you want to donate.
December 12, 2025 at 2:02 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
Leonardo DiCaprio in a still from "Django Unchained", wearing a See You Jimmy hat and drinking a pint of Tennent's Lager.
November 18, 2025 at 10:13 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
A tweet from "The Golden Sir" (@screaminbutcalm) sent at 2114 on March 12th 2019: Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
November 15, 2025 at 11:21 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
With alt text.
An excerpt of an article on the Financial Times which reads as follows: "Members states on Friday postponed signing of their mandate for that deal and for the terms of the UK's re-entry to the single energy market, which would reduce power prices. The delay was caused by decisions over whether the UK should pay into the EU's regional funds as the price of re-linking the two sides'emissions trading schemes - allowing businesses in each jurisdiction to avoid carbon border taxes - and other agreements. Most member states say the UK should make such payments just as countries with closer EU economic ties such as Norway and Switzerland do, according to four diplomats familiar with the talks. But a handful have argued against that approach for the policy areas outlined in the "Common Understanding" document agreed in May, the diplomats said. Those states have said the EU should not make demands for payments into regional funds now on those areas given it had not done so in the May document, they added. The states led by Germany and the Netherlands fear damaging the relationship ahead of next year's planned summit. Members state ambassadors will meet on Tuesday to try to thrash out a solution.
November 10, 2025 at 9:32 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
Ah, Mexico '86, when Gordon Strachan (nearly) got his leg over after scoring against West Germany 😄
Gordon Strachan, having just scored against West Germany in the 1986 Mexico World Cup, fails to jump over an advertising hoarding and decides to rest his leg on top of the billboard instead.
October 30, 2025 at 10:54 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
You should probably avoid coming over here then 😄. We deep fry EVERYTHING.

Mars bars
Haggis
Sausages
Chicken legs
Pizza

There's even a joke about it in Avengers: Infinity War.
A screenshot of Elizabeth Olsen as Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff in the film "Avengers: Infinity War". The scene is set on Cockburn (pronounced "Coburn") Street in Edinburgh outside a fish and chip shop. There is a sign inside the fish and chip shop which reads "We will deep fry your kebab", below which is a Saltire.
October 18, 2025 at 9:30 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
Behold, the lanyard class!
A stock image of Maurice Glasman wearing an USDAW lanyard A stock image of Maurice Glasman wearing a lanyard.
October 3, 2025 at 2:53 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
The Far Side, by Gary Larson. In this cartoon, a female ape is picking a hair from a male ape's back. The caption reads "Well, well - another blonde hair... Conducting a little more 'research' with that. Jane Goodall tramp?"
October 1, 2025 at 10:45 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
TBF, it's the top story on the BBC News website.
The top story on bbc.co.uk/news on Saturday 27th September 2025 is "Elon Musk and Prince Andrew named in new Epstein files"
September 27, 2025 at 2:26 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
A picture of three ornamental garden wells, decreasing in size from left to right, with the caption "Well, well, well. What do we have here?"
September 24, 2025 at 9:24 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
I don't think your link really helps your case.
A screenshot from snopes.com that reads as follows: CLAIM Hillary Clinton proposed assassinating Julian Assange visa drone strike to silence WikiLeaks. RATING Unproven
September 21, 2025 at 6:00 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
Now with alt text.
- Gay people should be stoned to death - Most people are scared when they see a black pilot flying a plane. - Taylor Swift should reject feminism and submit to her husband. - No-one should be allowed to retire - Leftists should not be allowed to move to red states - British colonialism was what "made the world decent" - The guy who's assaulted the Pelosis should be bailed out - Religious freedom should be terminated - Multiple black politicians "stole white people's spots" - MLK Jr was "an awful person" - The Great Replacement Theory is reality - Hydroxychloroquine cures COVID - Vaccine requirements are "medical apartheid" - Gun deaths are acceptable in order to have the 2nd amendment - Women's natural place is under their husband's control - Parents should prevent their daughters from taking birth control - George Floyd had it coming, the Jan 6th protesters didn't - The 1964 Civil Rights Act was a "huge mistake" - Encouraged parents to protest mask mandates - Mamdani winning in NY is a travesty because Muslims did 9/11 - Muslims only come to America to destabilise Western civilization -Palestine "doesn't exist" and those who support it are like the KKK
September 11, 2025 at 4:15 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
A screened of The Simpsons. In the upper half of the screengrab, Bart says "It's the weirdest tax story of 2025." In the lower half of the screengrab, Homer treats his hand on Bart's shoulder and says "No, it's the weirdest tax story of 2025 so far."
September 7, 2025 at 12:39 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
The photo that accompanied the 2018 Clickhole article headlined "Heartbreaking: The worst person you know just made a great point"
August 21, 2025 at 12:11 AM
alancrowe.bsky.social
*woof*
My dog, Copper, places his front paws on my knee, giving me lots of help while I'm working.
August 15, 2025 at 3:07 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
Perhaps this could be amended to "The writer severely compromised Britain's public services by implementing austerity policies and is now selling the idea of having your computer solve sudokus that you can trade for heroin or guns."
"The writer is a former chancellor and member of Coinbase's advisory council."
August 4, 2025 at 8:41 AM
alancrowe.bsky.social
UK beer excise duty rates. Alcohol by volume (ABV) Amount of duty in £ (pounds) for each litre of pure alcohol in the product 0 to 1.2% £0.00 1.3% to 3.4% £9.61 3.5% to 8.4% £21.78 8.5% to 22% £29.54 Stronger than 22% £32.79
July 27, 2025 at 7:16 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
Meanwhile in Aberdeenshire...
A sign for Trump International Golf Links in Aberdeenshire. Below it, another sign has been added which reads "Twinned with Epstein Island"
July 26, 2025 at 7:15 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
A woman holding an enormous wine glass, saying "Just one glass"
July 25, 2025 at 6:48 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
I feel safer online already. Thanks, UK government.

On a serious note, time to enable VPN full time on my phone, because fuck this shit.
Screenshot of the settings page in the Bluesky Android app for a UK-based user, displaying the message "The laws in your location require you to verify you're an adult before accessing certain features on Bluesky, like adult content and direct messaging. Learn more in your account settings."
July 25, 2025 at 7:37 AM
alancrowe.bsky.social
The British Embassy in Washington DC gets it.
Screenshot of a tweet from the British Embassy to the United States of America saying "Enjoy your big day! Honestly..." Below this is a meme of Victoria and David Beckham. The first panel of the meme has Victoria Beckham saying "We love the fourth of July!", to which David Beckham replies "Be honest." The second panel of the meme has Victoria Beckham saying "Weall, I hope the weather's good", to which David Beckham replies "Be honest." The final panel of the meme has Victoria Beckham saying "I hope it pours down and all the BBQs go out", to which David Beckham replies "Thank you."
July 4, 2025 at 7:06 PM
alancrowe.bsky.social
Good old AI. Bing this time.

It claims the latest release of Rapid7's Insight Agents is 4.0.12, despite there being a link *directly below the AI summary* mentioning an issue with 4.0.15 that resulted in a rollback to 4.0.14. The latest version is 4.0.17 (from docs.rapid7.com/release-note...).
Screenshot of Bing search for the latest version of the Rapid7 Insight Agents. Bing AI says the latest release is 4.0.12, despite the being a reference to an issue with 4.0.15 resulting in a rollback to 4.0.14 immediately below the AI summary. The latest release is actually 4.0.17 (from https://docs.rapid7.com/release-notes/insightagent/)
June 20, 2025 at 1:03 PM