AARON SIMON
@aaronsimon.bsky.social
I was just thinking about all the DL guys I used to chat with on AIM and MySpace back in the day, and remembered one in particular, so I went to see what he’s up to now…MAGA. And hair loss. And now I really wish I would have archived the things he said he wanted to do to my “boy hole.”
January 29, 2026 at 4:52 AM
I was just thinking about all the DL guys I used to chat with on AIM and MySpace back in the day, and remembered one in particular, so I went to see what he’s up to now…MAGA. And hair loss. And now I really wish I would have archived the things he said he wanted to do to my “boy hole.”
The fashion classes are beginning their fashion illustration unit, so the teacher asked if I would bring some of my old work in. Hadn’t pulled these babies out in nearly a decade…
January 28, 2026 at 9:46 PM
The fashion classes are beginning their fashion illustration unit, so the teacher asked if I would bring some of my old work in. Hadn’t pulled these babies out in nearly a decade…
I don’t care how hot you are—if you’re doing a Bible study on TikTok Live, it’s a chop.
January 28, 2026 at 2:31 AM
I don’t care how hot you are—if you’re doing a Bible study on TikTok Live, it’s a chop.
Why is January twenty-seven weeks long?
January 27, 2026 at 12:33 PM
Why is January twenty-seven weeks long?
I tried, y’all. 🤷🏻♂️
This is majorly stupid and clearly written by a straight woman.
Aaron’s making me watch heated rivalry. 🙄
January 26, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I tried, y’all. 🤷🏻♂️
Someone uploaded the entire ‘Spice World’ movie on TikTok, so I know what I’m doing this morning.
January 25, 2026 at 12:30 PM
Someone uploaded the entire ‘Spice World’ movie on TikTok, so I know what I’m doing this morning.
I just saw the cast of the new Magic Mike Live: New York revue, and like, what is stopping Hollywood from finding 5-6 guys like this who can sing, and making a Pussycat Dolls boy band? I feel like America could really use that right now.
January 24, 2026 at 3:03 PM
I just saw the cast of the new Magic Mike Live: New York revue, and like, what is stopping Hollywood from finding 5-6 guys like this who can sing, and making a Pussycat Dolls boy band? I feel like America could really use that right now.
Had to “per my last e-mail” a colleague today. Not trying to be a bitch, but reading is what?
a bald man in a suit is sitting in front of a bookshelf .
ALT: a bald man in a suit is sitting in front of a bookshelf .
media.tenor.com
January 21, 2026 at 9:31 PM
Had to “per my last e-mail” a colleague today. Not trying to be a bitch, but reading is what?
A student just asked me if it was the “twenty-oneth.” OPEN THE SCH…oh wait…
January 21, 2026 at 3:56 PM
A student just asked me if it was the “twenty-oneth.” OPEN THE SCH…oh wait…
I’m not sure which one I’m more embarrassed by, but the algorithm has really got me narrowed down to MarbleRaceTok and HotMermenTok. 🫣
January 21, 2026 at 3:05 AM
I’m not sure which one I’m more embarrassed by, but the algorithm has really got me narrowed down to MarbleRaceTok and HotMermenTok. 🫣
It’s Dua Lipa night at Top Thai.
January 20, 2026 at 1:26 AM
It’s Dua Lipa night at Top Thai.
Alright. I’ve tried #AKnightOfTheSevenKingdoms twice, and fell asleep both times. This one may not be for me, fam.
January 19, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Alright. I’ve tried #AKnightOfTheSevenKingdoms twice, and fell asleep both times. This one may not be for me, fam.
It still makes me emotional when Viserion dies.
January 18, 2026 at 10:28 PM
It still makes me emotional when Viserion dies.
The temperature of this bath (and still feeling cold) got me ready to call myself Aaron of House Targaryen, the Unburnt.
a close up of a woman 's face with blonde hair
ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with blonde hair
media.tenor.com
January 18, 2026 at 6:21 PM
The temperature of this bath (and still feeling cold) got me ready to call myself Aaron of House Targaryen, the Unburnt.
Just watched a 7th grade boy ask a girl to be his girlfriend, and I have never LOL’d so hard at work. Aura farming? Where? Rizz?Nonexistent.
January 15, 2026 at 6:45 PM
Just watched a 7th grade boy ask a girl to be his girlfriend, and I have never LOL’d so hard at work. Aura farming? Where? Rizz?Nonexistent.
Always girls named Serenity that are the least serene people I know.
January 15, 2026 at 4:40 PM
Always girls named Serenity that are the least serene people I know.
Forgot my watch today. It’s over for me.
January 14, 2026 at 2:06 PM
Forgot my watch today. It’s over for me.
11 1/2-hour work day.
a kermit the frog is sitting on a ledge with his arms outstretched
ALT: a kermit the frog is sitting on a ledge with his arms outstretched
media.tenor.com
January 14, 2026 at 1:18 AM
11 1/2-hour work day.
Was an editor absent, oooorrrr…? 😳 #TheLongGame
January 13, 2026 at 9:40 PM
Was an editor absent, oooorrrr…? 😳 #TheLongGame
I don’t want to feel “feared” at work. Like, I don’t wanna come in and give everyone a Miranda Priestly vibe, but I can’t tell you how sensual it feels to hear, “X and Y asked if we could do Z, and I figured you’d say no, but I wanted to check with you first.” LOVE being consulted first!
a drag queen is wearing a purple jacket that says love pink on it
ALT: a drag queen is wearing a purple jacket that says love pink on it
media.tenor.com
January 13, 2026 at 1:30 AM
I don’t want to feel “feared” at work. Like, I don’t wanna come in and give everyone a Miranda Priestly vibe, but I can’t tell you how sensual it feels to hear, “X and Y asked if we could do Z, and I figured you’d say no, but I wanted to check with you first.” LOVE being consulted first!
If I ever won elected office, my first order of business would be taking the oath on ‘Blackout’ by Britney Spears just to rage bait idiot conservatives.
January 11, 2026 at 10:57 PM
If I ever won elected office, my first order of business would be taking the oath on ‘Blackout’ by Britney Spears just to rage bait idiot conservatives.
TikTok’s moderation of completely normal, inoffensive DMs is wild considering the amount of not-so-discrete meat-swangin’ that occurs on main.
January 8, 2026 at 11:12 PM
TikTok’s moderation of completely normal, inoffensive DMs is wild considering the amount of not-so-discrete meat-swangin’ that occurs on main.
I already have enough colleague drama to deal with at my own job, and now I’m expected to give a shit about Mark Kelly and Pete Hegseth’s beef? Democrats need to a new strategy if they expect any money from me this midterm cycle.
January 7, 2026 at 6:42 PM
I already have enough colleague drama to deal with at my own job, and now I’m expected to give a shit about Mark Kelly and Pete Hegseth’s beef? Democrats need to a new strategy if they expect any money from me this midterm cycle.
Learned about Henrietta Lacks today. This country has really just failed Black people at every opportunity, huh?
January 7, 2026 at 6:37 PM
Learned about Henrietta Lacks today. This country has really just failed Black people at every opportunity, huh?