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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 8h

With these kinds of consistent turnouts across the country, and knowing what we know about Musk’s capabilities, and the GOP’s propensity for cheating, I just have a really hard time believing Cankles McTacotits won this term fair and square. And I can’t believe more people aren’t talking about this.

Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen.bsky.social · 11h

Breaking: Today is officially one of the biggest days of protest in American history.

Over 7 million Americans turned out to No Kings events to stand up against MAGA fascism.

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 16h

I’m just saying! Kansas City’s Japanese Barbie would absolutely slaughter that French vanilla woman in a Lip Sync LaLaPaRuza Smackdown for the Crown.

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 18h

When the drag queen is a more prolific entertainer than the celebrity they’re known for impersonating. 👀

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 22h

Update: found him. 🕵🏻‍♂️

AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve spent a little too long today trying to figure out who the model is in these new Old Spice ads that have worked their way into my algorithm.

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve spent a little too long today trying to figure out who the model is in these new Old Spice ads that have worked their way into my algorithm.

AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 1d

I was about to say it wouldn’t be the same without Brittany Murphy and Kirstie Alley, and then I realized you were talking about a band.

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 2d

If I see the word “studio” and a price above $1,000 next to it, it had better be in New York, LA, or Chicago, ‘cause ain’t no way I’m sleeping in the same room I cook bacon for over a thousand mf dollars a month in Kansas City.

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 2d

There’s always that one patron/table in the restaurant that really needs e v e r y o n e to know their business.

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 2d

It’s always my go-to!

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 3d

I should not be sweating my tits off in
mid-October, but here we are.

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 4d

We been knew! Love when others realize it too! 🥰

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 4d

I…really shouldn’t read romance novels during my lunch break. 😳

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 5d

Sorry for standing on principle.

a woman with long black hair and bangs is smiling and looking at the camera .

ALT: a woman with long black hair and bangs is smiling and looking at the camera .

media.tenor.com

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 5d

How do I gain the reputation of someone who doesn’t really want to talk during their lunch break? Should I start hissing?

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 6d

Welp. Probably missed the love of my life playing Pokémon at Black Bob Park today, because I’m almost 37 and still can’t muster up the courage to talk to someone first. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 6d

I keep getting this ad on Instagram where this girl does the most obnoxious little TikTok dance, and do you ever just watch a stranger and know for a fact that you wouldn’t like them?

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 7d

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 7d

My ex keeps posting weird AI edits with J*k* P**l, and I feel like I should intervene, but also:

a woman is giving a thumbs up and says not my circus

ALT: a woman is giving a thumbs up and says not my circus

media.tenor.com

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 8d

God, I wish you liked men. 🤤

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 8d

Co-workers when we get lunch, ex-boyfriends, my mother, etc.

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 8d

People be like, “You should really drive cautiously around student drivers,” and I’m like, “No, they need to learn.”

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 8d

I follow gay, European pr0n stars for the music suggestions. Honestly. Why isn’t anyone in America talking about Rose Gray? This album is 10/10, no notes. open.spotify.com/album/5mQKMz...

Louder, Please

open.spotify.com

AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 10d

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. 🍂

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 10d

They brought it back to our school district late last year, but in SpEd, it conveniently never fit into our day. Now that I’m in gen pop, I have been lipsyncing it as to not cause a scene by sitting and rolling my eyes.

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AARON SIMON @aaronsimon.bsky.social · 10d

The Pledge of Allegiance is cult behavior.

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