Rob Watkins
@whelkaholism.bsky.social
Went to reclamation yard for wood, came home with Melvin
November 29, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Went to reclamation yard for wood, came home with Melvin
Today I learned that dogs evolved a whole new muscle just to look cute www.newscientist.com/article/2206...
Dogs evolved a special muscle that lets them make puppy dog eyes
An explanation for those puppy dog eyes Human selection has resulted in dogs evolving more expressive faces. They have a facial muscle for making the “puppy dog eyes” that melt many peoples’ hearts th...
www.newscientist.com
November 28, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Today I learned that dogs evolved a whole new muscle just to look cute www.newscientist.com/article/2206...
Might start hissing at people who annoy me
November 28, 2025 at 10:05 AM
Might start hissing at people who annoy me
Does anyone else have an instantaneous gag reflex to the word "grafters"
November 28, 2025 at 9:21 AM
Does anyone else have an instantaneous gag reflex to the word "grafters"
New hairstyle idea - the smullet (Side Mullet).
Business on the right, party on the left
Business on the right, party on the left
November 27, 2025 at 9:49 AM
New hairstyle idea - the smullet (Side Mullet).
Business on the right, party on the left
Business on the right, party on the left
Strongly recommend ordering merch from MERL. Its high quality and it will make you highly desirable to your preferred genders and also command the loyalty of farm animals
It's a beautiful day. We just dropped new merch for the first time in a year.
merl-shop.co.uk
(and, yes: we ship internationally!)
🧵
merl-shop.co.uk
(and, yes: we ship internationally!)
🧵
November 26, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Strongly recommend ordering merch from MERL. Its high quality and it will make you highly desirable to your preferred genders and also command the loyalty of farm animals
Really, when you get right down to it, aren't we all just shouting into the darkness for sex
There was actually a time quite recently when the Young People still used Tinder
(Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)
(Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)
![[Scene is a WOODLAND just before dawn. In a tree, a TEENAGE ROBIN with big headphones on is slouching on a branch, swiping on her phone. Her DAD ROBIN approaches her on the branch looking cheerful with her MUM ROBIN also in tow].
DAD ROBIN:
Wakey wakey darling, it's National Dawn Chorus Day!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
Ugh, Dad...
DAD ROBIN:
Come on, dear...
DAD ROBIN:
It's time for us all to shout into the darkness for sex!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
What
DAD ROBIN:
You're a big bird now.
Time to put down that blessed phone and find a mate...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
I am.
On Tinder.
[She swipes on her phone]
DAD ROBIN:
Oh for heaven's sake.
Your generation has no sense of tradition!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
Right... so you'd rather I found love by bellowing into the woods for a pre-dawn hookup with a total stranger?
DAD ROBIN:
It's natural!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
It's dogging.
DAD ROBIN:
Well that's how your Mum and I had you...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
OH MY GOD GROSS
MUM ROBIN [Singing sweetly into the air]:
Sex pleeease...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
Stop it Mum.
MUM ROBIN:
SEEEEEX PLEEEEAAAASE...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
MUUUM!
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreierbhobnorq5sxzbz3n5wpp2y3b4d6gpudj7qf6qycqqlvwja7eoi@jpeg)
November 24, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Really, when you get right down to it, aren't we all just shouting into the darkness for sex
Twitter, amirite
that great mass of death floats on and on, till lost in infinite perspectives
November 24, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Twitter, amirite
Everyone shut up and look at this rectangular dog
November 24, 2025 at 12:02 PM
Everyone shut up and look at this rectangular dog
I'm sure nothing bad will come of this
November 22, 2025 at 10:30 AM
I'm sure nothing bad will come of this
This manages to be both the funniest and saddest thing in history
November 21, 2025 at 6:50 PM
This manages to be both the funniest and saddest thing in history
Every now and then my muscle memory will temporarily completely fail and I will have simply no idea what my password is
November 20, 2025 at 10:08 AM
Every now and then my muscle memory will temporarily completely fail and I will have simply no idea what my password is
Richard "Dick Lice" Tice can fuck off even further than I'd normally want him to fuck off
November 19, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Richard "Dick Lice" Tice can fuck off even further than I'd normally want him to fuck off
Oh, so it's International Men's Day is it? Why isn't there an International Men's Day?
November 19, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Oh, so it's International Men's Day is it? Why isn't there an International Men's Day?
Good morning only to this little diva at Brighton Marina. SLAY KWEEN
(Photo by someone called "Philly Kat" on Facebook)
(Photo by someone called "Philly Kat" on Facebook)
November 19, 2025 at 9:20 AM
Good morning only to this little diva at Brighton Marina. SLAY KWEEN
(Photo by someone called "Philly Kat" on Facebook)
(Photo by someone called "Philly Kat" on Facebook)
Sometimes I will wake from a dream so vivid, about a life and love so wonderful, that I will be angry at my brain for taking it away when I wake up.
In other news I'm angry at my brain
In other news I'm angry at my brain
November 19, 2025 at 9:12 AM
Sometimes I will wake from a dream so vivid, about a life and love so wonderful, that I will be angry at my brain for taking it away when I wake up.
In other news I'm angry at my brain
In other news I'm angry at my brain
Maybe someone bumped into the lava lamp shelves and knocked them all on the floor? #cloudflare
November 18, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Maybe someone bumped into the lava lamp shelves and knocked them all on the floor? #cloudflare
Maybe the real eggs in one basket were the friends we made along the way #cloudflare
November 18, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Maybe the real eggs in one basket were the friends we made along the way #cloudflare
It's great we all rely on Cloudflare so much, definitely helping my day go swimmingly
November 18, 2025 at 12:25 PM
It's great we all rely on Cloudflare so much, definitely helping my day go swimmingly
Reposted by Rob Watkins
Not sure we should be encouraging posh landowners to hunt humans tbqh
‘Are they going to eat me alive?’: trail runners become prey in newest form of hunting
Nervous reporter is chased across English countryside by baying bloodhounds, in what could soon be only legal way to hunt with dogs
www.theguardian.com
November 17, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Not sure we should be encouraging posh landowners to hunt humans tbqh
They're not wrong, the plot summary of this film gets more insane with every sentence until by the end both it and you are completely detached from reality
November 17, 2025 at 7:39 AM
They're not wrong, the plot summary of this film gets more insane with every sentence until by the end both it and you are completely detached from reality
Brain Bunny
slightly obsessed about the end of this lady's effigy tomb with the voluminous folds of her dress and petite heeled shoes
November 14, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Brain Bunny