Bill Melots
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wanksy.bsky.social
Bill Melots
@wanksy.bsky.social
740 followers 340 following 2.1K posts
None of these views are that of my employer or myself. These are the views of the goblin that lives in the bathroom at the skatepark. He is so wise and funny. I love him.
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Why do you want me to piss in a cup for work? I already pissed in all the other cups at work.
Reposted by Bill Melots
I love a good French onion sup
We’re 100% gonna go there and get a guinea pig, who I think we should name Hank. Hank loves Dragonslayer.
I’m 100% down with this as long as we play dragonslayer and 720 afterward.
Yeah I could go for a hot dog on a stick
Not sure I like where earth is headed - you guys wanna go somewhere ?
I really miss Anthony Bourdain. He was precisely the right amount of asshole. Just a pinch.
Your doppleganger : we’ll see about that
Hot damn - free artisanal tequila samples tonight. Double whammy.
In case you thought there was no hope, I beg to differ.
I didn’t even say “Joe Rogan”
Sometimes you just wanna eat a giant hoagie (all the time).
I live by the coast in California. We treat our poo in treatment plants and then shoot it into the ocean, where people swim.
In my official bid for governor, my main running point is that we shoot the poo into space. Not just California poo. All the poo. All poo goes to space. National Space Poo.
Got fired today from a failing company for being one of the only people who is succeeding, so capitalism is definitely working.
Start the next Oceans Eleven
Reposted by Bill Melots
A business casual Furry, a man carrying a hemorrhoid donut and a woman carrying an empty dog crate just boarded this city bus. If anyone speaks to me I'm gonna pretend to be mute because this MUST be a hidden camera show
Reposted by Bill Melots
There once was a limerick at sonnetcon? Wow even poetry news is anarchy
After we’re done scaring the children this month, let’s put some marshmallows on some yams, pour some gravy on some green beans, and then shove some stuff in a turkey’s asshole. Then a fat dude will shoot down the chimney and judge the children. We will leave him milk and cookies.
We are calling Atlanta this now. Someone tell them.
New York may be the big apple, but I wanna live in the big peach.
I’m sorry sir, this bar has a 2 antifa minimum.
Probably not. He doesn’t even have pajamas.
Do you think that guy from Lit ever figured out why his car was in the front yard ?