Vurrence (Misfit Toy Moding)
@vurrence.bsky.social
@[email protected] on mastodon
Pinned
There are more than 20,000 ICE agents. Let’s say they weigh 180lbs each, on average.
SNAP benefits for food-insecure people are being eliminated for no good reason, for who knows how long.
…I have a modest proposal.
SNAP benefits for food-insecure people are being eliminated for no good reason, for who knows how long.
…I have a modest proposal.
Reposted by Vurrence (Misfit Toy Moding)
I refuse to buy blood oranges, because of the thousands of people in forced labor, mining deep into the earth for those oranges.
December 3, 2025 at 7:55 PM
I refuse to buy blood oranges, because of the thousands of people in forced labor, mining deep into the earth for those oranges.
New book day!
December 3, 2025 at 1:20 AM
New book day!
Me trying to understand what people are saying to me sometimes:
“Flerr bimnab.”
What?
“Mims cur. Grammim?”
Sorry, what are you saying?
“Hork hork poppin floops!”
… Ohhhh. Haha. Yeaaaah, for sure!
(What the fuck did I just agree with?!)
“Flerr bimnab.”
What?
“Mims cur. Grammim?”
Sorry, what are you saying?
“Hork hork poppin floops!”
… Ohhhh. Haha. Yeaaaah, for sure!
(What the fuck did I just agree with?!)
December 3, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Me trying to understand what people are saying to me sometimes:
“Flerr bimnab.”
What?
“Mims cur. Grammim?”
Sorry, what are you saying?
“Hork hork poppin floops!”
… Ohhhh. Haha. Yeaaaah, for sure!
(What the fuck did I just agree with?!)
“Flerr bimnab.”
What?
“Mims cur. Grammim?”
Sorry, what are you saying?
“Hork hork poppin floops!”
… Ohhhh. Haha. Yeaaaah, for sure!
(What the fuck did I just agree with?!)
Hello Sharks.
Electric Fart Garters. Patented.
15 billion dollars for 1% of the business.
No, I will not offer any further explanation.
Electric Fart Garters. Patented.
15 billion dollars for 1% of the business.
No, I will not offer any further explanation.
December 2, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Hello Sharks.
Electric Fart Garters. Patented.
15 billion dollars for 1% of the business.
No, I will not offer any further explanation.
Electric Fart Garters. Patented.
15 billion dollars for 1% of the business.
No, I will not offer any further explanation.
Scromiting is the new Reefer Madness.
Don’t inject any marijuanas! You’ll scream-vomit and DIE!
Don’t inject any marijuanas! You’ll scream-vomit and DIE!
December 1, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Scromiting is the new Reefer Madness.
Don’t inject any marijuanas! You’ll scream-vomit and DIE!
Don’t inject any marijuanas! You’ll scream-vomit and DIE!
If anyone has other Talib Kwelis that should be added, let me know.
December 1, 2025 at 10:51 PM
If anyone has other Talib Kwelis that should be added, let me know.
Best ways to get more followers?
Human sacrifice?
Be funnier?
Goat placenta?
Some sort of electric hat?
It’s the electric hat, isn’t it. I knew I should have bought one on Black Friday when they were cheap.
Human sacrifice?
Be funnier?
Goat placenta?
Some sort of electric hat?
It’s the electric hat, isn’t it. I knew I should have bought one on Black Friday when they were cheap.
December 1, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Best ways to get more followers?
Human sacrifice?
Be funnier?
Goat placenta?
Some sort of electric hat?
It’s the electric hat, isn’t it. I knew I should have bought one on Black Friday when they were cheap.
Human sacrifice?
Be funnier?
Goat placenta?
Some sort of electric hat?
It’s the electric hat, isn’t it. I knew I should have bought one on Black Friday when they were cheap.
Of all the butter alternatives, I think Broken Glass Butter is the worst.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Broken Glass Butter is a close second.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Broken Glass Butter is a close second.
December 1, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Of all the butter alternatives, I think Broken Glass Butter is the worst.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Broken Glass Butter is a close second.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Broken Glass Butter is a close second.
Every time I see a post from someone with like 20k followers, but they only follow 500 or something?
I gotta think “Hey. Fuck you.”
Unless they follow me, then they’re cool.
I gotta think “Hey. Fuck you.”
Unless they follow me, then they’re cool.
December 1, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Every time I see a post from someone with like 20k followers, but they only follow 500 or something?
I gotta think “Hey. Fuck you.”
Unless they follow me, then they’re cool.
I gotta think “Hey. Fuck you.”
Unless they follow me, then they’re cool.
If amber ever becomes the color of my energy, you all have my explicit legal permission to kill me.
November 30, 2025 at 10:38 PM
If amber ever becomes the color of my energy, you all have my explicit legal permission to kill me.
Reposted by Vurrence (Misfit Toy Moding)
My coconut November has been great.
Like 18 pina coladas a day and I’ve never felt b- [vomits explosively] better!
Like 18 pina coladas a day and I’ve never felt b- [vomits explosively] better!
November 30, 2025 at 10:19 PM
My coconut November has been great.
Like 18 pina coladas a day and I’ve never felt b- [vomits explosively] better!
Like 18 pina coladas a day and I’ve never felt b- [vomits explosively] better!
How the hell do I get thing thing to play freebird?
November 30, 2025 at 9:16 PM
How the hell do I get thing thing to play freebird?
Reposted by Vurrence (Misfit Toy Moding)
Me at the weed store:
Garçon, what is the sticky-to-icky ratio of the OG Wacky Pachyderm?
[takes a pinch, swishes it around in mouth, spits it into the bucket]
Hm. Notes of oak, leather, lemon, sulfur, chocolate, jolly rancher, rust, molybdenum, underripe banana, dirty house slippers, beef…
Garçon, what is the sticky-to-icky ratio of the OG Wacky Pachyderm?
[takes a pinch, swishes it around in mouth, spits it into the bucket]
Hm. Notes of oak, leather, lemon, sulfur, chocolate, jolly rancher, rust, molybdenum, underripe banana, dirty house slippers, beef…
November 29, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Me at the weed store:
Garçon, what is the sticky-to-icky ratio of the OG Wacky Pachyderm?
[takes a pinch, swishes it around in mouth, spits it into the bucket]
Hm. Notes of oak, leather, lemon, sulfur, chocolate, jolly rancher, rust, molybdenum, underripe banana, dirty house slippers, beef…
Garçon, what is the sticky-to-icky ratio of the OG Wacky Pachyderm?
[takes a pinch, swishes it around in mouth, spits it into the bucket]
Hm. Notes of oak, leather, lemon, sulfur, chocolate, jolly rancher, rust, molybdenum, underripe banana, dirty house slippers, beef…
Reposted by Vurrence (Misfit Toy Moding)
If I were rich I would rebuild the twin towers and make it a yearly thing
November 29, 2025 at 10:07 PM
If I were rich I would rebuild the twin towers and make it a yearly thing
Oh shit, everything was so weird for a minute there. Turns out I was on the discover tab. How did that happen? 😱
Literally shaking right now…
Literally shaking right now…
November 28, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Oh shit, everything was so weird for a minute there. Turns out I was on the discover tab. How did that happen? 😱
Literally shaking right now…
Literally shaking right now…
Post something random or else your December shall be damned
November 28, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Post something random or else your December shall be damned
Anyone who is having a shitty thanksgiving with family, I’d love to hear about it.
So I feel better about not having family to thanksgiving with.
So I feel better about not having family to thanksgiving with.
November 27, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Anyone who is having a shitty thanksgiving with family, I’d love to hear about it.
So I feel better about not having family to thanksgiving with.
So I feel better about not having family to thanksgiving with.
Madlibs-style “make your own banger”:
_____ , now with 20% more _____ !
_____ , now with 20% more _____ !
November 27, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Madlibs-style “make your own banger”:
_____ , now with 20% more _____ !
_____ , now with 20% more _____ !
Reposted by Vurrence (Misfit Toy Moding)
Dancing with the stars, but with unavoidable rotating blades lowered onto the dance floor.
November 27, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Dancing with the stars, but with unavoidable rotating blades lowered onto the dance floor.
Seems like this song has been getting a lot of new play in TV/movies lately. I hope the band got PAID.
Come And Get Your Love - Redbone | The Midnight Special
YouTube video by The Midnight Special
youtu.be
November 27, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Seems like this song has been getting a lot of new play in TV/movies lately. I hope the band got PAID.
Reposted by Vurrence (Misfit Toy Moding)
i bet hank hill has a propane powered fuck machine
November 26, 2025 at 7:41 PM
i bet hank hill has a propane powered fuck machine
Reposted by Vurrence (Misfit Toy Moding)
[cut to boardroom at zombie company]
[a zombie is presenting their PowerPoint slides]
[every slide just says “brains”]
[zombie points to slide]
“braaaains”
[everyone claps]
[a zombie is presenting their PowerPoint slides]
[every slide just says “brains”]
[zombie points to slide]
“braaaains”
[everyone claps]
November 26, 2025 at 7:34 PM
[cut to boardroom at zombie company]
[a zombie is presenting their PowerPoint slides]
[every slide just says “brains”]
[zombie points to slide]
“braaaains”
[everyone claps]
[a zombie is presenting their PowerPoint slides]
[every slide just says “brains”]
[zombie points to slide]
“braaaains”
[everyone claps]
In the 70s I bet there was at least one Mohel who tried to jazzercise as he circumcised
November 26, 2025 at 7:07 PM
In the 70s I bet there was at least one Mohel who tried to jazzercise as he circumcised
“Yeah. I’m rubbing my butt all over your stupid keyboard. Fuck you.”
November 25, 2025 at 11:56 PM
“Yeah. I’m rubbing my butt all over your stupid keyboard. Fuck you.”
Comfortably thumb 👍
November 25, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Comfortably thumb 👍