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Valdis 🌋

@val808.bsky.social

160 followers 43 following 790 posts

Busy kama'āina working in the Midwest and planning his escape. I post things that bring me joy. Best stat: resiliency ⚔️ Worst stat: knowing when to stop talking 💀 👣 Remove shoes at entrance 🤙🏼 Be Pono

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · Feb 15

DANGER: EGG WANTER 🥚🐺

A photo of Kanoa the Siberian Husky in my kitchen, looking incredibly cute as always after bath day

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 3h

"They're being paid to be there!" yelled the child-eating ogres from the dungeon as millions of recently childless villagers screamed and yelled from one horizon to the other

Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 4h

(Dying from being on feet all day) L..... lasa..nga.. de... Fami.. lia.... Uggghhhh 💀

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 5h

He's always so grumpy. One time I just left him there without completing the quest and was fine with it. A man needs his rest

Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 5h

*tries and fails to lift the life size pewter wheelbarrow* Oh gods! Well, maybe a giant could use it

Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 5h

I am in need of some tinctures and potions, my good amphibian!

*pays no mind to the smelly bog water suddenly flooding into my boots with a comical gurgling noise*

I've much coin and fine herbs in exchange!

Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 6h

We're outsiders, looking in. But at least that gives some clarity. I very much appreciate you sometimes broaching repellant subjects, and standing up for all. That? Well, that's American, gosh darn it 💜

Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 6h

The polite, humane, forgiving part of me really wants to delete this. But sometimes the truth is awful and it hurts

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 6h

I always just assumed it was just punching all other people while they are down, while being arrogant, know nothing, self-righteous, ironically anti-American douchebottles in the meantime. "Prove me wrong," as they might say

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 6h

You HAVE to say it the loudest, worst, most Super Mario accent possible, preferably while gesticulating wildly:

LASAGNA DE FAMILIA! 🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 8h

Meanwhile, all kinds of WEIRDOS are coming to check out the nasty old couch

A picture of a 25-year-old Natuzzi leather couch sitting outside on my curb, waiting for the trash people to pick it up. Meanwhile, skeletons are in the background. Just another miniature tableau of our throwaway culture that dumb people on the internet like to talk about

Reposted by Valdis 🌋

Tyler, from the Internet @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 20h

Excuse me: bb turtles

A human hand, presumably regular sized, as in not some inhuman giant hand or anything, just a regular normal hand, and in it is held three baby turtles OMG they are so cute they aren't even as wide as a single finger! Just tiny little guys! Can you believe it??? They look very sincere and polite I wish I could feed them little leaves or other turtle food. They are adorable and you love them. 🔫👀 Say you love them. Say it.

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 8h

The new couch hasn't even been in the house 30 minutes but it already has a dedicated guardian ⚔️

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 2d

What's the best one liner in movie history?

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 2d

Half of them just called in sick. Also someone left the coffee maker on all night so there's black goo on the bottom of the carafe, I'm leaving too

Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 2d

Also my boss has an illegal drip machine in her office we can use anytime. K-cups are nice but I'm not insane

Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 2d

The quality of some K-cup coffees has steadily improved while my sense of taste has declined from years of hot pepper abuse. We can now meet in the middle! 🎉 Now I can quit lugging a thermos to the office--the very one that likes to pee in my lunch bag even after I check the seal

Image of The Grand Trophy of Supreme and Enduring Mediocrity

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Reposted by Valdis 🌋

Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer.bsky.social · Aug 17

I filled an old windex bottle with holy water and spray my ghouls with it anytime they misbehave

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 3d

*hands on hips* I'm doing laundry right now, give me that before it crusts. We're out of Woolite. Again.

Reposted by Valdis 🌋

The Witcher @thewitcher.com · 5d

The rose, the mirror, the moon.

We took a contract unlike any other. We danced with Shani, we fought against Olgierd, and we faced the Caretaker. Ten years ago, we crossed paths once more with Gaunter O'Dimm.

Thank you for keeping the stories from Hearts of Stone alive 🌹

A shattered mirror shows cracked portraits of characters from The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - Hearts of Stone. Geralt, Master Mirror, and Iris warped reflections are lit up with a pale green. Underneath, Olgierd von Everec poses with a sword resting against his shoulder and a violet rose in the other hand.

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 5d

...the conniving, menacing, supercharged ogress(es) whom you approach only out of sheer desperation and, being very much a credible threat, would probably just cook and eat you given the opportunity 🥘💀

Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 5d

My fave two witch archetypes: the enchanted wise woman with an unspecified backstory and unknown powers, but who is willing to help a respectful adventurer in exchange for a challenging errand or two, and...

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 5d

My first of three #Witcher themed walking challenges nears its end! Today's tidbit is a postcard featuring some of tht best witch characters ever written #TheConquerorChallenges

A beautiful collectible digital postcard featuring some of the witches from the Witcher 3 video game

Reposted by Valdis 🌋

Ygrene (scary) @ygrene.bsky.social · 5d

one thing that i think is good to do is shape your perspective for the day before you have looked at the news and then also, for the rest of the day, don’t look at the news

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Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 7d

For those in need of husky content, here is Harley, a teeny tiny and sweet tempered cross between a Siberian and Shiba Inu. She gets walked across from my work every morning 👍🏼

Picture of an adorable female Siberian Husky, who is actually a cross with a Shiba Inu. She looks like a Siberian but is much smaller and has a beautiful fox tail

Valdis 🌋 @val808.bsky.social · 7d

Were he ever to grace my household with his presence, I would offer him these to sit upon

Photo of some modern reproduction furniture, recalling the obscene luxuriousness of the late 17th and early 18th centuries