Verified Tom Carpenter
@tomcarpenter.bsky.social
Chronicler of the Apocalypse. Wearing flip-flops on the subway is unsanitary.
I wonder why they don't send 500 additional troops after there's a school shooting.
November 27, 2025 at 10:06 AM
I wonder why they don't send 500 additional troops after there's a school shooting.
Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
If telling the troops not to follow illegal orders is “sedition,” what do we call colluding with the Kremlin to manipulate the U.S. President into advancing Russian interests over America’s?
November 26, 2025 at 2:54 PM
If telling the troops not to follow illegal orders is “sedition,” what do we call colluding with the Kremlin to manipulate the U.S. President into advancing Russian interests over America’s?
@ms.now "Me and my colleagues were in..." Really? From a WH correspondent? You've got journalists who struggle with middle school grammar?
November 26, 2025 at 9:37 PM
@ms.now "Me and my colleagues were in..." Really? From a WH correspondent? You've got journalists who struggle with middle school grammar?
Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
If you’re a journalist who’s still on Twitter, from now on in your writing you have to replace “the American people want” with “troll bots in Eastern Europe demand”
Being there makes your judgment suspect. I don’t care how savvy you think you are, you’re marinating in a disinformation campaign.
Being there makes your judgment suspect. I don’t care how savvy you think you are, you’re marinating in a disinformation campaign.
November 23, 2025 at 4:27 PM
If you’re a journalist who’s still on Twitter, from now on in your writing you have to replace “the American people want” with “troll bots in Eastern Europe demand”
Being there makes your judgment suspect. I don’t care how savvy you think you are, you’re marinating in a disinformation campaign.
Being there makes your judgment suspect. I don’t care how savvy you think you are, you’re marinating in a disinformation campaign.
I recently rewatched Logan’s Run (1976), and aside from thinking that Michael York deserved a better haircut, my big takeaway was that it was ahead of its time as an allegory for immigration policy in the US fifty years later. Searching for Sanctuary? Being chased by goons with guns?
November 22, 2025 at 7:10 PM
I recently rewatched Logan’s Run (1976), and aside from thinking that Michael York deserved a better haircut, my big takeaway was that it was ahead of its time as an allegory for immigration policy in the US fifty years later. Searching for Sanctuary? Being chased by goons with guns?
Seems like Bubba's not the only one who got a blowie from Trump.
November 22, 2025 at 11:51 AM
Seems like Bubba's not the only one who got a blowie from Trump.
Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
This snazzy dresser
Is Looking more and more like Mike Pence every day
Is Looking more and more like Mike Pence every day
November 21, 2025 at 10:28 PM
This snazzy dresser
Is Looking more and more like Mike Pence every day
Is Looking more and more like Mike Pence every day
But no one can afford real clothes when they spent all their money on seat assignments and checked bags for their delayed flight that won’t be refunded, thanks to rescinding the Biden refund rule.
November 22, 2025 at 11:21 AM
But no one can afford real clothes when they spent all their money on seat assignments and checked bags for their delayed flight that won’t be refunded, thanks to rescinding the Biden refund rule.
Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
#GVerse #KingResist #Unite #FBaRmy
An ICE Agent was BUSTED by Bloomington Police in "Operation Creep" trying to solicit sex from a minor. When arrested, he said "I'm ICE, boys."
That #FuckICE Agent is toast.
An ICE Agent was BUSTED by Bloomington Police in "Operation Creep" trying to solicit sex from a minor. When arrested, he said "I'm ICE, boys."
That #FuckICE Agent is toast.
November 19, 2025 at 6:58 AM
#GVerse #KingResist #Unite #FBaRmy
An ICE Agent was BUSTED by Bloomington Police in "Operation Creep" trying to solicit sex from a minor. When arrested, he said "I'm ICE, boys."
That #FuckICE Agent is toast.
An ICE Agent was BUSTED by Bloomington Police in "Operation Creep" trying to solicit sex from a minor. When arrested, he said "I'm ICE, boys."
That #FuckICE Agent is toast.
I had a coronal mass ejection, once, and it landed me in the ER.
A coronal mass ejection recorded on Friday could reach Earth and cause geomagnetic storms on Sunday night.
Northern Lights Forecast: Aurora Could Be Visible From These States Sunday
A coronal mass ejection recorded on Friday could reach Earth and cause geomagnetic storms on Sunday night.
www.forbes.com
November 16, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I had a coronal mass ejection, once, and it landed me in the ER.
Gosh, the @nytimes.com really sounds nostalgic for the good ol' days when rich people could rape with impunity....
November 16, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Gosh, the @nytimes.com really sounds nostalgic for the good ol' days when rich people could rape with impunity....
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
A: We know how many people went down on the Titanic.
www.yahoo.com/news/article...
A: We know how many people went down on the Titanic.
www.yahoo.com/news/article...
Bizarre Epstein files reference to Trump, Putin, and oral sex with ‘Bubba’ draws scrutiny in Congress
"Is it a joke? Is it not? Who’s he talking about? We don’t know,” U.S. Rep. Robert Garcia said about the peculiar discovery in an interview with The Advocate.
www.yahoo.com
November 15, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
A: We know how many people went down on the Titanic.
www.yahoo.com/news/article...
A: We know how many people went down on the Titanic.
www.yahoo.com/news/article...
If you had to guess, what , would you say, percentage of motivational speakers are cokeheads?
November 14, 2025 at 7:15 PM
If you had to guess, what , would you say, percentage of motivational speakers are cokeheads?
In case you're confused:
November 12, 2025 at 7:14 PM
In case you're confused:
Nothing pisses off conservatives more than feeling like their tax dollars pay for "free stuff" for people who aren't working. Dems need to change the narrative - working people pay more than their fair share to give "free stuff" to billionaires, and their struggling neighbors can't catch a break.
November 7, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Nothing pisses off conservatives more than feeling like their tax dollars pay for "free stuff" for people who aren't working. Dems need to change the narrative - working people pay more than their fair share to give "free stuff" to billionaires, and their struggling neighbors can't catch a break.
What do we need to do to ensure that Musk doesn't hit his targets and become a trillionaire?
November 7, 2025 at 12:51 PM
What do we need to do to ensure that Musk doesn't hit his targets and become a trillionaire?
Completing the White House Ballroom will create dozens, if not many dozens of jobs over the next two years, which won’t end until the ballroom is completed. And workers will almost certainly get most of the 260 million dollars expended on the project.
November 6, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Completing the White House Ballroom will create dozens, if not many dozens of jobs over the next two years, which won’t end until the ballroom is completed. And workers will almost certainly get most of the 260 million dollars expended on the project.
If [insert billionaire of your choice] tells you to vote for someone, that’s a pretty good indication that you should vote for someone else. Someone needs to tell that to the NY Times, who think we should all vote the way the CEO of an eyeglass company is voting.
November 5, 2025 at 2:22 AM
If [insert billionaire of your choice] tells you to vote for someone, that’s a pretty good indication that you should vote for someone else. Someone needs to tell that to the NY Times, who think we should all vote the way the CEO of an eyeglass company is voting.
Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
whatever you think of Spanberger, the fact that her opponent ran a campaign based almost entirely on transphobia and is on track to eat shit in the biggest blowout the state has seen since 2009 is unambiguously a huge win
Earle-Sears ran what felt like 12 billion ads about how much she hated trans kids and I didn’t hear a single pundit say she should stick to real issues that affect real people.
WASHINGTON (AP) — Democrat Abigail Spanberger wins Virginia governor’s race.
November 5, 2025 at 1:27 AM
whatever you think of Spanberger, the fact that her opponent ran a campaign based almost entirely on transphobia and is on track to eat shit in the biggest blowout the state has seen since 2009 is unambiguously a huge win
Think about how much money Michael Bloomberg , DoorDash, and a ton of Trump donors spent to get Cuomo elected. Look it up and see who they are. And then, think of how those millions of dollars could be doing other, better things for people.
November 5, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Think about how much money Michael Bloomberg , DoorDash, and a ton of Trump donors spent to get Cuomo elected. Look it up and see who they are. And then, think of how those millions of dollars could be doing other, better things for people.
They said to call if there were problems in your polling place. My problem was that some people appeared to be voting for Cuomo.
November 2, 2025 at 6:34 PM
They said to call if there were problems in your polling place. My problem was that some people appeared to be voting for Cuomo.
I would never try to yuck anyone’s yom, but if your yum is disgusting or illegal…
November 1, 2025 at 11:02 PM
I would never try to yuck anyone’s yom, but if your yum is disgusting or illegal…
Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
I love how Rep. Joe Neguse reframed this question.
October 31, 2025 at 8:19 AM
I love how Rep. Joe Neguse reframed this question.
I'm sure I'm not the first to make this joke, but ... where are the boxes of confidential documents?
October 31, 2025 at 8:23 PM
I'm sure I'm not the first to make this joke, but ... where are the boxes of confidential documents?
Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
Narcissism 101.
Bride Calls Out Her Trump Loving Dad For Wearing His MAGA Hat During Wedding Speech
www.comicsands.com
October 29, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Narcissism 101.