Verified Tom Carpenter
@tomcarpenter.bsky.social
Chronicler of the Apocalypse. Wearing flip-flops on the subway is unsanitary.
Gosh, the @nytimes.com really sounds nostalgic for the good ol' days when rich people could rape with impunity....
November 16, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Gosh, the @nytimes.com really sounds nostalgic for the good ol' days when rich people could rape with impunity....
In case you're confused:
November 12, 2025 at 7:14 PM
In case you're confused:
I'm sure I'm not the first to make this joke, but ... where are the boxes of confidential documents?
October 31, 2025 at 8:23 PM
I'm sure I'm not the first to make this joke, but ... where are the boxes of confidential documents?
But how does the CEO of Warby Parker want us to vote?!? I don’t know who writes these ridiculous headlines, and why the Times has abandoned its post as the “Paper of Record.” Put if print is dead, it’s only because you’re torturing it in a basement somewhere.
October 18, 2025 at 2:54 AM
But how does the CEO of Warby Parker want us to vote?!? I don’t know who writes these ridiculous headlines, and why the Times has abandoned its post as the “Paper of Record.” Put if print is dead, it’s only because you’re torturing it in a basement somewhere.
Oh wow. Smart kids win sometimes.
October 11, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Oh wow. Smart kids win sometimes.
Remember that time, about 20 years ago when Diane Keaton and Johnny Depp used to show up at awards ceremonies wearing exactly the same outfit?
October 11, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Remember that time, about 20 years ago when Diane Keaton and Johnny Depp used to show up at awards ceremonies wearing exactly the same outfit?
I don’t like cats. I am allergic to cats. But our feral yard cat, Bella, is the only one who will hang out with me by the fire pit right now. I love her.
October 4, 2025 at 2:21 AM
I don’t like cats. I am allergic to cats. But our feral yard cat, Bella, is the only one who will hang out with me by the fire pit right now. I love her.
I wish more people would divorce Jeff Bezos.
September 24, 2025 at 12:27 PM
I wish more people would divorce Jeff Bezos.
I’m not a billionaire corporate oligarch, but I employ people. And I look at where they were educated before I decide to hire them. Ahem.
September 19, 2025 at 1:24 AM
I’m not a billionaire corporate oligarch, but I employ people. And I look at where they were educated before I decide to hire them. Ahem.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re @nytimes.com
July 4, 2025 at 12:08 AM
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re @nytimes.com
At what point do we adopt the phrase, "Tax-and-Spend Conservatives?"
June 30, 2025 at 12:19 AM
At what point do we adopt the phrase, "Tax-and-Spend Conservatives?"
This is HORRIBLE. Between global warming, war, terrorism, white christian nationalism, gutting social security and medicare, shifting the tax burden to working and middle-class families, cancellation of my favorite streaming show, and the existence of Florida...we now have to deal with this?!?
June 27, 2025 at 2:31 AM
This is HORRIBLE. Between global warming, war, terrorism, white christian nationalism, gutting social security and medicare, shifting the tax burden to working and middle-class families, cancellation of my favorite streaming show, and the existence of Florida...we now have to deal with this?!?
Interestingly, this @nytimes.com article doesn't list "New Yorkers don't think it's important to vote the same way the CEO of Warby Parker" as one of the takeaways. Maybe they'll learn some other way...
June 25, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Interestingly, this @nytimes.com article doesn't list "New Yorkers don't think it's important to vote the same way the CEO of Warby Parker" as one of the takeaways. Maybe they'll learn some other way...
The veneers on that actor in the Trivago commercials... oof. I'm worried he's going to jump out of the screen and bite me.
June 5, 2025 at 5:01 PM
The veneers on that actor in the Trivago commercials... oof. I'm worried he's going to jump out of the screen and bite me.
Patti LuPone moves up a notch, passing Joni Ernst in the “Worst Person in the World”contest.
June 1, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Patti LuPone moves up a notch, passing Joni Ernst in the “Worst Person in the World”contest.
My favorite online review of all time.
May 4, 2025 at 5:59 PM
My favorite online review of all time.
Not to pile on to the complaints about NYTimes headlines, but … I’m going to pile on. Averting a government shutdown, or giving Trump a blank check to rape and pillage?
March 15, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Not to pile on to the complaints about NYTimes headlines, but … I’m going to pile on. Averting a government shutdown, or giving Trump a blank check to rape and pillage?
Happy Pi Day.
March 14, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Happy Pi Day.
Tesla stock lost about 15% of its value today.
March 10, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Tesla stock lost about 15% of its value today.
Hear me out-- a revival of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof where Patti LuPone plays Big Daddy.
February 27, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Hear me out-- a revival of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof where Patti LuPone plays Big Daddy.
I've said it before -- if you didn't know this guy was a Nazi until he made the Hitlergruß, you weren't paying attention.
February 6, 2025 at 7:23 PM
I've said it before -- if you didn't know this guy was a Nazi until he made the Hitlergruß, you weren't paying attention.
F Bomb for the win!
February 6, 2025 at 3:24 PM
F Bomb for the win!