Todd Mitchell
@toddnotmitchell.com
Valedictorian: North Junior High 8th Grade Summer School Social Studies, 1999
Deep Rock Galactic Survivor runs way better on my ancient 13 Pro Max than I would have guessed and isn’t even that hard on the battery. I don’t know how they do it.
December 3, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Deep Rock Galactic Survivor runs way better on my ancient 13 Pro Max than I would have guessed and isn’t even that hard on the battery. I don’t know how they do it.
I have very strong fingernails. Is that something people want?
December 3, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I have very strong fingernails. Is that something people want?
I think we were all kind of hoping to watch another Chuck E. Cheese arrest by now.
December 3, 2025 at 1:52 PM
I think we were all kind of hoping to watch another Chuck E. Cheese arrest by now.
I hate when I haven't been to a restaurant in a while and I roll up and it's shut down and vacant. I always feel personally responsible.
December 2, 2025 at 7:14 PM
I hate when I haven't been to a restaurant in a while and I roll up and it's shut down and vacant. I always feel personally responsible.
Me every time I write: Every moment I don’t spend on this or my family is wasted.
Me at the end of every writing session: Jesus. Never doing that again.
Me at the end of every writing session: Jesus. Never doing that again.
December 1, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Me every time I write: Every moment I don’t spend on this or my family is wasted.
Me at the end of every writing session: Jesus. Never doing that again.
Me at the end of every writing session: Jesus. Never doing that again.
Dad: I need to eat lunch. Everyone else got to eat lunch, now I have to eat lunch.
Kid: man that guy sucks.
Dog: I know right f*ck that guy.
Kid: man that guy sucks.
Dog: I know right f*ck that guy.
December 1, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Dad: I need to eat lunch. Everyone else got to eat lunch, now I have to eat lunch.
Kid: man that guy sucks.
Dog: I know right f*ck that guy.
Kid: man that guy sucks.
Dog: I know right f*ck that guy.
Power shovel season is here!
November 30, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Power shovel season is here!
Opening with politics at the dinner table first thing this year because God help me if someone opens their mouth to besmirch Jack White.
November 27, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Opening with politics at the dinner table first thing this year because God help me if someone opens their mouth to besmirch Jack White.
I like that first ten seconds you log into humble bundle and it acts like you have zero of those decades of purchases in there
November 27, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I like that first ten seconds you log into humble bundle and it acts like you have zero of those decades of purchases in there
What it looks like to have grown up with Humble Bundle. I’m absolutely buying this. 🤣
November 27, 2025 at 2:26 AM
What it looks like to have grown up with Humble Bundle. I’m absolutely buying this. 🤣
Oh my god fans remade TimeSplitters?!
November 26, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Oh my god fans remade TimeSplitters?!
Order pancakes and begin the negotiations
November 25, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Order pancakes and begin the negotiations
One of my favorite dad jokes is to tell my son we need to stop by PetCo where the pets go or PetsMart where the pets art.
November 24, 2025 at 5:42 PM
One of my favorite dad jokes is to tell my son we need to stop by PetCo where the pets go or PetsMart where the pets art.
Sega’s out here like “Hell yeah snap up these $90 games while they’re still $20 off.”
November 22, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Sega’s out here like “Hell yeah snap up these $90 games while they’re still $20 off.”
Smart TV Ditches Okay Software for Something Much Worse
November 22, 2025 at 6:07 AM
Smart TV Ditches Okay Software for Something Much Worse
Every microwave should have a repeat button
November 21, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Every microwave should have a repeat button
If I ever met John Krasinski I’d ask him, “Is it true that you aren’t really friends with Jamie Hyneman?”
November 20, 2025 at 6:59 PM
If I ever met John Krasinski I’d ask him, “Is it true that you aren’t really friends with Jamie Hyneman?”
I hung up Christmas lights on our house by myself and MyFitnessPal cleared me for a 3,700 calorie dinner today if I want.
November 15, 2025 at 2:45 AM
I hung up Christmas lights on our house by myself and MyFitnessPal cleared me for a 3,700 calorie dinner today if I want.
I've lived through listening to YMCA on my uncle's original vinyl record and flipping off an AI hologram. I am eternal.
November 13, 2025 at 7:35 PM
I've lived through listening to YMCA on my uncle's original vinyl record and flipping off an AI hologram. I am eternal.
I haven’t mentioned I’ve been tracking calories for a week or so, but there have been signs
People need a happy place to think about, and that’s why I built Nintendo 64 Retro Pizza Hut.
November 12, 2025 at 4:13 PM
I haven’t mentioned I’ve been tracking calories for a week or so, but there have been signs
Not exactly the first time DoorDash has delivered something wrong.
November 12, 2025 at 5:43 AM
Not exactly the first time DoorDash has delivered something wrong.
People need a happy place to think about, and that’s why I built Nintendo 64 Retro Pizza Hut.
November 12, 2025 at 1:17 AM
People need a happy place to think about, and that’s why I built Nintendo 64 Retro Pizza Hut.
I don’t have the temperament to keep trying strategy games in Early Access. 😅
November 10, 2025 at 5:18 PM
I don’t have the temperament to keep trying strategy games in Early Access. 😅
Imagine not wanting to spend this part of life farting up someone else’s recliner and watching the grandkids play between naps. He would have even been forgiven for being absolutely incorrect every time he opens his mouth like this. It wouldn’t have mattered at all.
November 8, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Imagine not wanting to spend this part of life farting up someone else’s recliner and watching the grandkids play between naps. He would have even been forgiven for being absolutely incorrect every time he opens his mouth like this. It wouldn’t have mattered at all.