Author | Lightnews

Snarkwing Duck

@thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social

150 followers 43 following 2.6K posts

I am the spit that that hides in your dog whistle. I am the forensic evidence that sticks to your jackboot. I am… Snarkwing Duck! DISCLAIMER: Everything said here is satire. Comedy is legal now. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

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Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 11d

Wealth hoarding is un-American and a detriment to our national security and social cohesion. Here's the antidote:

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 28m

Joe, I'm playing Deadly Moves here...

Joe vs. Vagnad? Vag... nad?

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 37m

Poppin' a turtle tank's turret cherry? Just making another booty hole to get to more booty holes. 😎

Sorry, I'm stoned.

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 2h

#SEGA!

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 2h

I'm in the mood for some Sega love. I feel like coming to the next level. Come to the next level with me. Let's watch GameSack together. 😎

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 2h

I'm sure the blackmail relationship is alive and well, and about to get interesting.

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 2h

Shame this man, #Scotland !

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 2h

I gotta say, I don't like this. This makes Americans look stupid. It sounded like an interesting conversation, but this loser cuts the video mid-sentence over and over, instilling some sense that they can't be understood. You're mocking my heritage, bro.

Don't be a hack.

The Scottish accent CAN’T be real 💀😂 #scottish #accents #britishculture #funny #americanineurope

YouTube video by Kjordy

www.youtube.com

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 5h

If my dad were taken out in a field by these cowards, I'd be out there putting my gamer skills to maximum use, blowing up Russians, one booty hole at a time - with maximum flair. They'd give me a name, like the Booty Hole Bounty Hunter.

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Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 5h

How dumb are they? Do they not think the entire civilized world will make sure these people are fed? ZERO strategic value, only pointless killing - as it will only gird loins and increase their suffering on the battlefield.

Am I wrong?

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 5h

I'm a nerd, so I had to use AI to understand what this meant.

Did you see that ludicrous display last night? 🤓

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 5h

I will laugh so hard when the MAGA-leaning state national guardsmen are working their asses off. Learn your lessons, thugs. Serve the people, not the king.

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 5h

This is also for nerds who grew up in the 80's and 90's.

I think Mouth should apologize for being mean to immigrants.

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 12h

Tada, he makes brown people disappear.

A skilled alchemist, turning bullshit into money.

He's got the mind control thing down.

Knocks over the round table and says, "Nah, I think I'm gonna be king for a while." Then he locks up Arthur.

What a depressing medieval tale. Bring out your dead!

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 12h

"Cast his vision..."

Trump's media minions talk about him like he's feckin' Merlin.

Donald the Malevolent, breaker of all things, seer of none. 🧙

Merlin did help Uther commit sexual assault, so... that checks.

He also lived backwards through time, and Donny is rapidly becoming a giant baby. 🤔

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 19h

How do we know they haven’t? We have no accountabilit going on here. It’s not like we can cross reference the missing persons with ICE. Lots of people are unaccounted for, and that’s unacceptable. It’s a five-alarm Nazi fire. Hoses out for America, boys.

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 19h

Doug Ford is about to expand the Geneva checklist on Donald. 😎

Donald always was a poor student of history.

His definitely-not-murdered wife said he loved Hitler‘s speeches, and kept a copy of Mein Kampf on the night stand, yet he can’t read…. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 20h

Mazzy Star. Respect. 😎

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 1d

#NoKings patriots, this may be a technology to consider. It can also be embedded into websites. It can be password secured, encrypted.

Start thinking about your privacy and security - while maintaining channels of communication. This one should never be forgotten, like CB radio.

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 1d

I want to remind everyone of a magical technology from 1995:

🚨 INTERNET RELAY CHAT 🚨

It might come in real handy if the tech overlords decide to clamp down on free speech.

You can run your own server, create your own channels.

They cannot shut down free speech. Enjoy. 🗽

mIRC: Internet Relay Chat client

www.mirc.com

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 1d

Go ahead, Shrek. Find the good layer. I'll wait.

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 1d

I have mixed feelings about people invoking Ronald Reagan, but maybe it's okay to cherry pick the good aspects in a person. We all have flaws.

Donald Trump, however, is a negative feedback loop of failure. There's no good to be found here, only onion layers of ick and crime.

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Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 1d

Wait, I bet I know exactly what happened here. One of his writers saw it, thought it was hilarious, knew it wouldn't fly on national television, tried to tone it down, handed it to Seth and UTTERLY BOMBED, landing him or herself on Corrections.

Did I get it right? 😎

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 1d

Why can't we have nice things?

Becasue MAGA lacks one key feature:

"Ohhhh yeah. Yeah, you're right. I totally had that wrong. My bad."

At least start there, if you're actually honest with yourself.

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 1d

"Shame me - you can't get shamed again."

- George W. Trump

Snarkwing Duck @thesnarkwingduck.bsky.social · 2d

This is so not cool 🤣

CORRECTIONS Episode 153: Week of Monday, October 20

YouTube video by Late Night with Seth Meyers

youtu.be