BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
@slumlordthanatos.bsky.social
An endless stream of nerd shit, useless information, and classic memes.
Who wants a body massage?
Who wants a body massage?
Pinned
Fenslerfilm PSA 03 - Body Massage
YouTube video by FenslerfilmPreserve
youtu.be
For you young 'uns wondering about my username and avatar, here's an old classic from the pre-YouTube days.
youtu.be/ajxyLZcM2ps?...
youtu.be/ajxyLZcM2ps?...
If you see this, we IMPLORE you to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.
December 14, 2025 at 10:16 PM
If you see this, we IMPLORE you to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.
The Kansas City Chiefs have been officially eliminated from playoff contention.
That sound you are hearing is the collective cheering of the rest of the NFL.
That sound you are hearing is the collective cheering of the rest of the NFL.
December 14, 2025 at 10:06 PM
The Kansas City Chiefs have been officially eliminated from playoff contention.
That sound you are hearing is the collective cheering of the rest of the NFL.
That sound you are hearing is the collective cheering of the rest of the NFL.
I think they often forget that King Herod tried to have Him killed by murdering every child two years old and younger in Bethlehem and the surrouding area.
Jesus started his life as a refugee whose king wanted him dead.
Jesus started his life as a refugee whose king wanted him dead.
Supporters of the displays say the Bible is on their side, but critics call the scenes sacrilegious and politically divisive, accusing the churches of abusing sacred imagery. n.pr/4rTabaD
Church Nativity scenes add zip ties and gas masks to protest immigration raids
Supporters of the displays say the Bible is on their side, but critics call the scenes sacrilegious and politically divisive, accusing the churches of abusing sacred imagery.
n.pr
December 14, 2025 at 6:42 AM
I think they often forget that King Herod tried to have Him killed by murdering every child two years old and younger in Bethlehem and the surrouding area.
Jesus started his life as a refugee whose king wanted him dead.
Jesus started his life as a refugee whose king wanted him dead.
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
TIL the original lyrics to Deck the Halls are awesome and “don we now our gay apparel” is temperance movement bullshit
December 13, 2025 at 10:44 PM
TIL the original lyrics to Deck the Halls are awesome and “don we now our gay apparel” is temperance movement bullshit
i just want someone to lay down on top of me and hold me while i cry
December 14, 2025 at 6:24 AM
i just want someone to lay down on top of me and hold me while i cry
Dick Van Dyke is 100.
Couldn't have happened to a better person. I'm so glad that he's still around.
Couldn't have happened to a better person. I'm so glad that he's still around.
To Dick Van Dyke: I send the warmest of birthday wishes. Happy 100!! You and my father Colby Carter went to high school together in Danville IL!! I'm afraid this is the closest thing I have to a picture of us together, but it will have to do. ❤️
December 14, 2025 at 5:41 AM
Dick Van Dyke is 100.
Couldn't have happened to a better person. I'm so glad that he's still around.
Couldn't have happened to a better person. I'm so glad that he's still around.
I don't have a ton of follwers, but for those of you who are not American...
Don't come here.
We need to sort out shit out. I don't know if it's even possible. I'm going to do my best, but the history student in me doesn't like our odds.
Don't come here.
We need to sort out shit out. I don't know if it's even possible. I'm going to do my best, but the history student in me doesn't like our odds.
December 13, 2025 at 7:22 AM
I don't have a ton of follwers, but for those of you who are not American...
Don't come here.
We need to sort out shit out. I don't know if it's even possible. I'm going to do my best, but the history student in me doesn't like our odds.
Don't come here.
We need to sort out shit out. I don't know if it's even possible. I'm going to do my best, but the history student in me doesn't like our odds.
Alright, one more game, and this one falls into the "fantastic writing" category: Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines.
There's a reason this game shows on practically every "Greatest RPG" list despite its many, many flaws. It's a genuinely compelling story with lots of twists, turns, and branches.
There's a reason this game shows on practically every "Greatest RPG" list despite its many, many flaws. It's a genuinely compelling story with lots of twists, turns, and branches.
December 13, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Alright, one more game, and this one falls into the "fantastic writing" category: Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines.
There's a reason this game shows on practically every "Greatest RPG" list despite its many, many flaws. It's a genuinely compelling story with lots of twists, turns, and branches.
There's a reason this game shows on practically every "Greatest RPG" list despite its many, many flaws. It's a genuinely compelling story with lots of twists, turns, and branches.
I really want to gush about Katawa Shoujo for a bit, too. It's a VN, but for the low, low price of "free", it's worth checking out.
It's shocking that something this heartwarming and sweet was born from 4chan of all places. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and everything in between.
It's shocking that something this heartwarming and sweet was born from 4chan of all places. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and everything in between.
December 13, 2025 at 1:58 AM
I really want to gush about Katawa Shoujo for a bit, too. It's a VN, but for the low, low price of "free", it's worth checking out.
It's shocking that something this heartwarming and sweet was born from 4chan of all places. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and everything in between.
It's shocking that something this heartwarming and sweet was born from 4chan of all places. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and everything in between.
1: Don't wake the Daemonhost.
2: Don't pick up the fucking ammo/healing boxes if you're not going to use them.
3: Make the area safe before you rez me or anyone else.
4: Please play the objectives. I hate being the only one resetting syncronisitors.
2: Don't pick up the fucking ammo/healing boxes if you're not going to use them.
3: Make the area safe before you rez me or anyone else.
4: Please play the objectives. I hate being the only one resetting syncronisitors.
December 13, 2025 at 1:16 AM
1: Don't wake the Daemonhost.
2: Don't pick up the fucking ammo/healing boxes if you're not going to use them.
3: Make the area safe before you rez me or anyone else.
4: Please play the objectives. I hate being the only one resetting syncronisitors.
2: Don't pick up the fucking ammo/healing boxes if you're not going to use them.
3: Make the area safe before you rez me or anyone else.
4: Please play the objectives. I hate being the only one resetting syncronisitors.
Pinkwater just seems like a really on-the-nose name for a security agency.
Imagine a Pinkwater Security recruiter contacted you and invited you to work aboard Pinkwater 4 station. Would you agree? And if yes, what would you take with you to live and work in space?
December 12, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Pinkwater just seems like a really on-the-nose name for a security agency.
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
I’ll save you a click:
The Atlantic is trending because they put out an article saying that it’s “anti-worker” to fire the white woman at Cinnabon who screamed slurs at Somali customers and yelled at them to “suck it”.
The Atlantic is trending because they put out an article saying that it’s “anti-worker” to fire the white woman at Cinnabon who screamed slurs at Somali customers and yelled at them to “suck it”.
December 12, 2025 at 4:58 PM
I’ll save you a click:
The Atlantic is trending because they put out an article saying that it’s “anti-worker” to fire the white woman at Cinnabon who screamed slurs at Somali customers and yelled at them to “suck it”.
The Atlantic is trending because they put out an article saying that it’s “anti-worker” to fire the white woman at Cinnabon who screamed slurs at Somali customers and yelled at them to “suck it”.
Intravenous II has an incredible soundtrack, but it would be remiss of me not to also bring up another of my favorite game soundtracks: Crypt of the Necrodancer.
While I enjoyed the game itself (until I tried to beat it with Aria, at least), this game has a fuckin' banging soundtrack.
While I enjoyed the game itself (until I tried to beat it with Aria, at least), this game has a fuckin' banging soundtrack.
December 12, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Intravenous II has an incredible soundtrack, but it would be remiss of me not to also bring up another of my favorite game soundtracks: Crypt of the Necrodancer.
While I enjoyed the game itself (until I tried to beat it with Aria, at least), this game has a fuckin' banging soundtrack.
While I enjoyed the game itself (until I tried to beat it with Aria, at least), this game has a fuckin' banging soundtrack.
I also do want to bring up some honorable mentions that I didn't get to plug, starting with Starsector. It was between this and DA2 for my underrated game, and I really want to see more people play Mount & Blade IN SPACE!!!
The website looks like it should give you malware, but it's legit.
The website looks like it should give you malware, but it's legit.
December 12, 2025 at 2:53 PM
I also do want to bring up some honorable mentions that I didn't get to plug, starting with Starsector. It was between this and DA2 for my underrated game, and I really want to see more people play Mount & Blade IN SPACE!!!
The website looks like it should give you malware, but it's legit.
The website looks like it should give you malware, but it's legit.
Whew! Day 30, everyone; we made it to the end.
If you ask me about my GOAT every day over a week, I'll probably give you seven different answers.
But for today? Bloodborne.
If you know, you know. If not, go get some PlayStation hardware and play it. But be warned: it's not for the faint of heart.
If you ask me about my GOAT every day over a week, I'll probably give you seven different answers.
But for today? Bloodborne.
If you know, you know. If not, go get some PlayStation hardware and play it. But be warned: it's not for the faint of heart.
December 12, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Whew! Day 30, everyone; we made it to the end.
If you ask me about my GOAT every day over a week, I'll probably give you seven different answers.
But for today? Bloodborne.
If you know, you know. If not, go get some PlayStation hardware and play it. But be warned: it's not for the faint of heart.
If you ask me about my GOAT every day over a week, I'll probably give you seven different answers.
But for today? Bloodborne.
If you know, you know. If not, go get some PlayStation hardware and play it. But be warned: it's not for the faint of heart.
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
I upgraded to windows 11 by accidentally pressing spacebar on startup
December 12, 2025 at 2:15 PM
I upgraded to windows 11 by accidentally pressing spacebar on startup
HOLY FUCK IT'S REAL
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Warhammer 40K
Experience the brutal fusion of galactic strategy and grimdark warfare in Total War: Warhammer 40,000.
www.totalwar.com
December 12, 2025 at 2:17 PM
HOLY FUCK IT'S REAL
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Like, it's a net gain. You no longer have to put into your employer's healthcare, you don't have to pay for your own plan, and your taxes aren't going to increase by as much as your old plan's cost.
Governments may be incompetent, but they're not incentivized to cut corners and costs.
Governments may be incompetent, but they're not incentivized to cut corners and costs.
Now we see the filthy rich Mark Cuban appear. He stands to lose profit from his drug business and investments so he's pulling out all the Republican propaganda.
Socialized Medicine works everywhere else.
Yeah, taxes go up, but your insurance payments go down, and everyone is covered.
Socialized Medicine works everywhere else.
Yeah, taxes go up, but your insurance payments go down, and everyone is covered.
For all Universal HC/Single Payer/M4A advocates.
What do the biggest, expensive hospital chains do. Do they opt out and only serve the rich ?
Who in the USA gov runs the program?
R U ok with having to see a primary care doc before you can see a specialist ?
What do the biggest, expensive hospital chains do. Do they opt out and only serve the rich ?
Who in the USA gov runs the program?
R U ok with having to see a primary care doc before you can see a specialist ?
December 12, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Like, it's a net gain. You no longer have to put into your employer's healthcare, you don't have to pay for your own plan, and your taxes aren't going to increase by as much as your old plan's cost.
Governments may be incompetent, but they're not incentivized to cut corners and costs.
Governments may be incompetent, but they're not incentivized to cut corners and costs.
Day 29!
I love Stardew Valley and think it's a better "game" at the moment, but Fields of Mistria just has a much better cast of characters. It's not done yet and won't be until next year, so it still feels like it's missing content.
But the characters run laps around SDV's.
I love Stardew Valley and think it's a better "game" at the moment, but Fields of Mistria just has a much better cast of characters. It's not done yet and won't be until next year, so it still feels like it's missing content.
But the characters run laps around SDV's.
December 12, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Day 29!
I love Stardew Valley and think it's a better "game" at the moment, but Fields of Mistria just has a much better cast of characters. It's not done yet and won't be until next year, so it still feels like it's missing content.
But the characters run laps around SDV's.
I love Stardew Valley and think it's a better "game" at the moment, but Fields of Mistria just has a much better cast of characters. It's not done yet and won't be until next year, so it still feels like it's missing content.
But the characters run laps around SDV's.
One of these days, I'm gonna sit down and power my way through Original Sin 2.
It never really managed to suck me in like BG3, and I'm not sure why.
It never really managed to suck me in like BG3, and I'm not sure why.
Statue reveal confirmed as Divinity from Larian Studios - "their biggest game ever, even larger than Baldur's Gate 3"
December 12, 2025 at 1:35 AM
One of these days, I'm gonna sit down and power my way through Original Sin 2.
It never really managed to suck me in like BG3, and I'm not sure why.
It never really managed to suck me in like BG3, and I'm not sure why.
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
I can't wait to not be able to afford the Grandmother Premium package so my heartfelt memories are interrupted by my Grandmother pitching dick pills to me every 2 minutes
IN DEPTH | If you could speak to your dead grandmother forever, would you?
If you could speak to your dead grandmother forever, would you?
www.independent.co.uk
December 11, 2025 at 10:56 AM
I can't wait to not be able to afford the Grandmother Premium package so my heartfelt memories are interrupted by my Grandmother pitching dick pills to me every 2 minutes
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
the thing that sucks about these things is they're probably really funny to listen to, but you mustn't
The Washington Post is launching a personalized AI podcast, saying users will be able to "shape their own briefing, select their topics, set their lengths, pick their hosts and soon even ask questions using our Ask The Post AI technology."
December 10, 2025 at 4:53 PM
the thing that sucks about these things is they're probably really funny to listen to, but you mustn't
I mean, it works pretty well for 40K.
BORING: Assigning "levels of canon" to Star Wars media.
NOT BORING: Construing all Star Wars media as variously motivated propaganda which actually exists in some notional Star Wars universe, often only tenuously related to real events, and loudly speculating about what "really happened".
NOT BORING: Construing all Star Wars media as variously motivated propaganda which actually exists in some notional Star Wars universe, often only tenuously related to real events, and loudly speculating about what "really happened".
December 10, 2025 at 7:32 PM
I mean, it works pretty well for 40K.