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Shit Argyle Chants

@shitargochants.bsky.social

550 followers 1.1K following 3.6K posts

Signed up to this on my Nokia to impress ladies. Argyle and Argos's top boy. Evergreen Premium. 1/92 plus Wembley

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · Jan 21

In the expectation that some #pafc fans don't enjoy a frothing, bonk-eyed Sieg Heil, please follow this Argyle community starter pack to get your Bluesky up and running.

(Retweet if you love the Janner song)

go.bsky.app/4mHJ9Gd

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 1m

I'm there. Completely unconvinced and have been from his first game. I don't know what the tipping point is. Unlike Rooney I reckon he might at least be trying (sober), and the jeopardy at this point is still v low (13 points from our last 8?). So yeah, expect we give him a while to turn it around.

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 15m

With an extra 2 days rest, we go and pump Mansfield on Tuesday night, right?

Forget last night happened. Don't let a one-off game cloud a tenure too much.

Learn to make sushi. Take an evening course. Flirt with the neighbour with your Evergreen Premium card.

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 31m

Yeah I was gonna get him on my shoulders and charge the home end, but that does sound a bit better tbf

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 43m

I think he might be a year or two young for it, hence starting him out on a cup game. Any advice, other than snacks?

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 50m

Just bought tickets for the cup game at Wycombe.

First game I'm ever taking my lad to. He's 4. Dreading it.

Why has this even happened after last night?

#pafc #chairboys

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 1h

😂

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 5h

I still think we're miles off a squad who gets relegated.

I've no idea what we do though. Sack Cleverley? Maybe. I don't really want to be a club looking for our 5th manager in under 2 years.

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 7h

We've a scenario where none of the players are visibly terrible, but none of them are achieving anything at all either. Randell (nostalgia klaxon) passed forwards, but would have spells of 30 mins in a game where he lost the ball a lot and looked shit. But it's what the team needed. Tempo & get go

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 7h

What is underrated is the mindset. Lowe/Schu would hammer the midfield if they didn't play forward. Boateng last night was dreadful for picking it up in space and passing to Mitchell/Wiredu. The one bloke who was actually obviously winning his 1v1 battle on the pitch was subbed off first.

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 7h

Honestly, the shape of a football team is quite overrated. After 5 minutes you should be able to work out where your opposing player is, and you react accordingly. You don't stand in a formation, you find space, you get the right side of your man, you win your battles.

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 8h

That aside, Tolaj will get more goals this season than Hardie ever did, and I'm pretty confident MW would have 0 goals if he was still here and getting pelters for being lazy.

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 8h

"Now that season there was a Whittaker, there was a Azaz, there was a Hardie"

Senor Small Squad was pretty anti-loanee, until it became apparent our squad was, err, too small and the good ones were already taken.

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 8h

#pafc In fairness, he's come out with some outrageous guff this time.

"We have done a big deep dive into the attacking data and it's very similar to the year that Argyle got promoted from this division (in 2022/23) in terms of xG."

Is my favourite.

TAKE MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YO MOUTH

a man in a suit and tie sits next to a woman in a sequined dress while watching a live abc broadcast

ALT: a man in a suit and tie sits next to a woman in a sequined dress while watching a live abc broadcast

media.tenor.com

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 8h

I don't want to beat him whilst he's down, but his interviews are so dull

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 16h

Over half individually scored below 50/100. No one bar a sub scraped a 60. These are also, you'll remember, the undisputed ratings. Dispute them all you like you'll only look ridiculous. It's like not believing in gravity or that Prince William is into pegging

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 16h

This "Nance/Edwards speech" thing has appeared on a few podcasts etc (@jm-bell95.bsky.social v guilty of overegging this) but in reality theyre about the club every day. What we actually need is our best XI available playing with direction and in a shape that plays to our strengths.

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 16h

He was really anonymous, which did him a massive favour in the undisputed player ratings

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 16h

Patronus Premium Weissbier honestly sobered me up more than left footed midfielder Brendan Wiredu playing RCB; a great shift from the previously unknown brand

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 16h

Literally gobsmacked the second half was far, far worse than the mediocre, 4/10 first

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 16h

Gaffer leading the "charge"

Reposted by Shit Argyle Chants

Alexander Warn @alexanderwarn.bsky.social · 16h

Tonight in the style of later Samuel Beckett...

Lights up on a pile of empty Carabao.

A faint scream.

Lights drop out leaving a solitary bulb flickering.

Carabao blows away.

A loud blood curdling scream.

Bulb explodes and the Terry and June theme plays. Backwards.

The End. #pafc

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 17h

*So gopping I refused the last two beers in the fridge, does me a big favour tomorrow morning, well played

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 17h

PLAYER RATINGS OUT OF 100

Hazard 36
Mitchell 38
Galloway 57
Wiredu 37
Edwards 56
Sorinola 54
Ibrahim 43
Boateng 40
Paterson 44
Pepple 53
Tolaj 50

Ross 56
Mumba 60
Oseni 50
Roberts 50
Dale 47

Premium Weissbier Patronus 95 STAR MAN*

Shit, shit night.

#pafc

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Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 17h

Attendances are absolutely remarkable rn tbh

Shit Argyle Chants @shitargochants.bsky.social · 17h

Bloke only plays Leeds I thought