Author | Lightnews

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley

@shelleyelwood.bsky.social

850 followers 280 following 26K posts

"food-motivated but still kind of uptight" Probably a human being. Former NJ vol fire chief. RA, SLE, POTS. Happy Color Profiteer Middle Smithfield, PA/Poconos/DWG

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 1h

That $60 mod is just wrapping tape around the glasses frames to complete the look

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 2h

Ooh, maybe that woman on the old Intervention show who huffed aerosols in the Staples parking lot was a thought leader

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 2h

I mean, if you really want to get down to it, he stole his wife's father's company after his father-in-law gave him a nepo job (one of my uncles-by-marriage did the same thing to my grandpa but at least my aunt had the good grace to divorce him)

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 2h

Well, of course, it's a school day, his girlfriend has a social studies project due

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 3h

I mean, in their defense it was very uneven terrain, but also he is standing on a hill and she is in a hole, and he's still only maybe 3" taller than her n this scene. It is hilarious. Give up. Let her be taller, please.

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 3h

I am watching a show where the lead actress's listed IMDb height is 5'8", and two of the men have listed themselves as 5'9", so they are probably actually 5'7", and I am now obsessed with how they try to make the men look taller than her. For example in this scene he is literally on a dirt mound

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 3h

He does seem to think that the only possible answer can be yes. So his brain is the developmental age of a toddler, he has that going for him

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 4h

I sense that he really doesn't want the government interviewing every child he tried to fuck, even though that's what he's saying

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 4h

I have some very bad news for women who also do not want to die by age 30 😬

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 14h

I am once again concerned about the Strands puzzle constructor's mental health (or maybe they love Agatha Christie/mysteries like I do)

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 15h

Needed some background tv to ignore for a couple hours, so I put on the first episode of Friends and... was the lighting always this awful? I know I had a CRT when it aired, but holy crap, shadows everywhere, the lighting is so bad it's like a student designer did this and failed the class

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 15h

Like dry shampoo, but painful

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 15h

omg is that where he manifested?

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 15h

Yes, before Uber, no immigrants ever drove taxis

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 15h

phew I thought it meant stoned, like it did when I was a kid, and wondered how it came up

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 16h

I don't do many cozy fantasies, but I do read a ton of cozy mysteries, and they often do various holidays (in fact, one only does holidays), there are a ton of Halloween specific books (ditto cozy mystery shows, they love doing Halloween episodes)

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 16h

Excuse me, Michele. It is for some reason really important to me that she spells her name differently than I do (Michelle)

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 16h

It has to do with donuts, I say oldly

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 17h

Apparently men like it. Some men, some very specific men.

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 17h

Like he all but screamed SHE'S THE BIG BOSS and they all ignored it. I wasn't 100% sure until Gaius Baltar started treating her like poor lamb

(He will always be Gaius Baltar, always)

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 17h

lol I picked up Jackson's HUGE hint when he made it so it is frustrating that none of the characters do

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 17h

I have some very bad news about your brother and also how gullible you are

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 17h

James, who is now a PC in Devon, is sent to Maine and...

Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 17h

I am actually impressed they managed so many stereotypes in 60 seconds, they even insulted white guys, wow

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Ant Murdering She-Devil/Shelley @shelleyelwood.bsky.social · 18h

Having the only women in the Cuomo ad be underaged prostitutes, an abused wife, and a rich old drunk driver (didn't he date her?),

a cartoon of a chef with a needle in his mouth is playing at 4:32

ALT: a cartoon of a chef with a needle in his mouth is playing at 4:32

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