sebastian
@sebcanem.bsky.social
gay guy of canine experience
brooklyn
brooklyn
Turns out I have it in me to do the “awrarara I’m a cute puppy tell me what to do :3” routine after all
But only for women
But only for women
November 17, 2025 at 7:30 AM
Turns out I have it in me to do the “awrarara I’m a cute puppy tell me what to do :3” routine after all
But only for women
But only for women
People kept trying to smell my armpits over the weekend only to find either Bull’s Blood by Imaginary Authors or You or Someone Like You by Etat Libre d’Orange and while peer pressure hasn’t gotten to me yet, a part of me is kinda sad I couldn’t indulge those boys. I’m fighting a losing battle 😔
November 4, 2025 at 8:45 PM
People kept trying to smell my armpits over the weekend only to find either Bull’s Blood by Imaginary Authors or You or Someone Like You by Etat Libre d’Orange and while peer pressure hasn’t gotten to me yet, a part of me is kinda sad I couldn’t indulge those boys. I’m fighting a losing battle 😔
Turns out that what I needed was to make friends in their 30s and two weeks later I’m free from the ennui and back to dangerous levels of Living Deliciously so nevermind all that. Give that millennial a chance TODAY
very on the nose / eye-roll-inducing that I serendipitously find a Joan Didion essay to go along with whatever Big Emotion I’m feeling anyways I’m reading The White Album now
November 4, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Turns out that what I needed was to make friends in their 30s and two weeks later I’m free from the ennui and back to dangerous levels of Living Deliciously so nevermind all that. Give that millennial a chance TODAY
I feel like developing a smidge of religious psychosis this fall could be very chic, very baroque, very justifying the name (St.) Sebastian
October 29, 2025 at 4:25 PM
I feel like developing a smidge of religious psychosis this fall could be very chic, very baroque, very justifying the name (St.) Sebastian
very on the nose / eye-roll-inducing that I serendipitously find a Joan Didion essay to go along with whatever Big Emotion I’m feeling anyways I’m reading The White Album now
October 21, 2025 at 1:13 AM
very on the nose / eye-roll-inducing that I serendipitously find a Joan Didion essay to go along with whatever Big Emotion I’m feeling anyways I’m reading The White Album now
I’d love having the type of brain that lets you laugh at the CEO’s canned jokes during this town hall. My coworkers are having a ki. Being the average Applebee’s core suburban American must feel sooooo good.
October 17, 2025 at 3:18 PM
I’d love having the type of brain that lets you laugh at the CEO’s canned jokes during this town hall. My coworkers are having a ki. Being the average Applebee’s core suburban American must feel sooooo good.
Making prolonged eye contact with a really hot guy :)
Wearing a Hamilton hoodie :(
Wearing a Hamilton hoodie :(
October 15, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Making prolonged eye contact with a really hot guy :)
Wearing a Hamilton hoodie :(
Wearing a Hamilton hoodie :(
Roomie is on the “revenge body” part of post-breakup mania and thinks he’ll look like Chris Bumstead in 8 weeks off chickpeas alone. He’s been negotiating with ChatGPT about it while listening to Beyoncé’s Jolene on repeat.
I love gay people.
I love gay people.
October 14, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Roomie is on the “revenge body” part of post-breakup mania and thinks he’ll look like Chris Bumstead in 8 weeks off chickpeas alone. He’s been negotiating with ChatGPT about it while listening to Beyoncé’s Jolene on repeat.
I love gay people.
I love gay people.
Metrograph calling a film techno-scored when the trailer is clearly dnb :c
October 13, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Metrograph calling a film techno-scored when the trailer is clearly dnb :c
taking pictures instead of finally unpacking from Folsom :(
October 10, 2025 at 3:43 AM
taking pictures instead of finally unpacking from Folsom :(
Walked by a lesbian bar and saw a woman, presumably a lesbian, with a hat that said “NO BORGES” on the brim. What could she possibly mean…
October 9, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Walked by a lesbian bar and saw a woman, presumably a lesbian, with a hat that said “NO BORGES” on the brim. What could she possibly mean…
At the function proselytizing the virtues of Brian Eno’s Music for Airports to tweakers looking for a comedown
October 5, 2025 at 11:03 AM
At the function proselytizing the virtues of Brian Eno’s Music for Airports to tweakers looking for a comedown
also since I don’t have my hashtag millennial friends on Instagram, Folsom was cute and I felt really good about the muscle definition I had going on without flexing or a pump :)
October 3, 2025 at 2:08 AM
also since I don’t have my hashtag millennial friends on Instagram, Folsom was cute and I felt really good about the muscle definition I had going on without flexing or a pump :)
Everyone in the SoMa Fitness SF smells like armpits :(
October 3, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Everyone in the SoMa Fitness SF smells like armpits :(
Pups are messaging me on Instagram and trying to schedule Folsom cockings, find out we have 0 party overlap, and then act as if I’m the weird one for knowing and caring about who Herrenscheide and Lydo are. God I really belong in Brooklyn (heartbreaking)
September 25, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Pups are messaging me on Instagram and trying to schedule Folsom cockings, find out we have 0 party overlap, and then act as if I’m the weird one for knowing and caring about who Herrenscheide and Lydo are. God I really belong in Brooklyn (heartbreaking)
How it feels to schedule PTO the Mondays after Folsom and Halloween because you know you’ll carry too severely while your coworkers list stuff like “school holiday with kids” and “wedding prep”
September 17, 2025 at 1:05 PM
How it feels to schedule PTO the Mondays after Folsom and Halloween because you know you’ll carry too severely while your coworkers list stuff like “school holiday with kids” and “wedding prep”
my gym needs a posing room because this back pump would’ve looked crazy when it was fresh / in better lighting but I’ll take it
September 17, 2025 at 1:57 AM
my gym needs a posing room because this back pump would’ve looked crazy when it was fresh / in better lighting but I’ll take it
Reposted by sebastian
I love making the silliest stuff
April 29, 2025 at 9:37 PM
I love making the silliest stuff
About to go do hot yoga — an activity I’m not interested in, why would you make yoga hot…
With a coworker — a person I’m not interested in…
Because she’s 3 levels above me and kiking with people is part of my evaluation metrics :/
With a coworker — a person I’m not interested in…
Because she’s 3 levels above me and kiking with people is part of my evaluation metrics :/
September 11, 2025 at 9:16 PM
About to go do hot yoga — an activity I’m not interested in, why would you make yoga hot…
With a coworker — a person I’m not interested in…
Because she’s 3 levels above me and kiking with people is part of my evaluation metrics :/
With a coworker — a person I’m not interested in…
Because she’s 3 levels above me and kiking with people is part of my evaluation metrics :/
Experienced a bout of bisexual panic so fierce last night that I expeditiously found a gay guy to make out with so I didn’t have to open that can of worms nor think about all that and I think that’s beautiful
September 2, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Experienced a bout of bisexual panic so fierce last night that I expeditiously found a gay guy to make out with so I didn’t have to open that can of worms nor think about all that and I think that’s beautiful
I’ve been in a SeRioUs pack before and nothing could’ve prepared me for how incestuous and lovey-dovey my roommate’s friend group of Standard Issue Brooklyn Gay Guys is… frankly… kinda jealous
September 2, 2025 at 4:41 AM
I’ve been in a SeRioUs pack before and nothing could’ve prepared me for how incestuous and lovey-dovey my roommate’s friend group of Standard Issue Brooklyn Gay Guys is… frankly… kinda jealous
Every other bar on the LES has the amorphously… mid century modern-Nordic squiggly-lines-in-primary colors recessed-lighting simple cedar furniture with grated wood paneling… thing going on and I’m HEARTBROKEN because that is MY aesthetic sensibility don’t make it straggot and HR girl coded OMG
August 31, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Every other bar on the LES has the amorphously… mid century modern-Nordic squiggly-lines-in-primary colors recessed-lighting simple cedar furniture with grated wood paneling… thing going on and I’m HEARTBROKEN because that is MY aesthetic sensibility don’t make it straggot and HR girl coded OMG
I’m getting bicep veins and stretch marks so I’m feeling very whatever the himbo version of cunt is
August 28, 2025 at 7:35 PM
I’m getting bicep veins and stretch marks so I’m feeling very whatever the himbo version of cunt is
Went to Uniqlo for office basics and of course only liked stuff from the JW Anderson collection so I’m susceptible to propaganda
August 27, 2025 at 11:02 AM
Went to Uniqlo for office basics and of course only liked stuff from the JW Anderson collection so I’m susceptible to propaganda
I need to start posting more on here to communicate with my #millennial friends
June 6, 2025 at 4:55 AM
I need to start posting more on here to communicate with my #millennial friends