Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear
@scottcrawford.org
linktr.ee/ineednewhobbies
Hanging out in my living room on the Internet. Please be (un)cool enough to hang out here.
Interactions frequently set to follows-only.
If you're not into pro wrestling, you should mute this emoji: 🤼♂
they/them
Hanging out in my living room on the Internet. Please be (un)cool enough to hang out here.
Interactions frequently set to follows-only.
If you're not into pro wrestling, you should mute this emoji: 🤼♂
they/them
Reposted by Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear
If just one celebrity was in that room wearing a KN95 it could change a lot for folks to see that, just one.
February 2, 2026 at 6:50 AM
If just one celebrity was in that room wearing a KN95 it could change a lot for folks to see that, just one.
OK, what's everyone else with a sleep disorder wanna do now?
February 2, 2026 at 4:51 AM
OK, what's everyone else with a sleep disorder wanna do now?
Someone should start a "HORSE COCK" chant at the Grammys. 🤼
February 2, 2026 at 3:20 AM
Someone should start a "HORSE COCK" chant at the Grammys. 🤼
Me, watching y'all watch the Grammys:
The Cure won 2 Grammys!
The Cure won 2 Grammys!
February 2, 2026 at 2:53 AM
Me, watching y'all watch the Grammys:
The Cure won 2 Grammys!
The Cure won 2 Grammys!
Tonight, to compound my already bad decision, I'm yelling "GO, BABY, GO!" à la Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! at the delivery map screen instead of humming the Raiders of the Lost Ark music.
February 2, 2026 at 1:10 AM
Tonight, to compound my already bad decision, I'm yelling "GO, BABY, GO!" à la Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! at the delivery map screen instead of humming the Raiders of the Lost Ark music.
Babylon (2022)
February 1, 2026 at 9:02 PM
Babylon (2022)
Despite what everyone thinks has happened, it's now March 2164th, 2020, not January 32nd, 2026.
Really, it's more like March 5452nd, 2011 (I still contend that shit went wrong when people were mean as fuck to Rebecca Black about "Friday") or November 9224th, 2000 or some shit before that, pick 'em.
Really, it's more like March 5452nd, 2011 (I still contend that shit went wrong when people were mean as fuck to Rebecca Black about "Friday") or November 9224th, 2000 or some shit before that, pick 'em.
February 1, 2026 at 10:37 AM
Despite what everyone thinks has happened, it's now March 2164th, 2020, not January 32nd, 2026.
Really, it's more like March 5452nd, 2011 (I still contend that shit went wrong when people were mean as fuck to Rebecca Black about "Friday") or November 9224th, 2000 or some shit before that, pick 'em.
Really, it's more like March 5452nd, 2011 (I still contend that shit went wrong when people were mean as fuck to Rebecca Black about "Friday") or November 9224th, 2000 or some shit before that, pick 'em.
There's a group of what look like about 5 teenagers outside, walking somewhere, clowning around, and I am of so many minds. On one hand, it feels weirdly good and so rare to see teenagers existing in public. On the other, it's really cold out, kids! And ever-present is "you're gonna get COVID, y0".
February 1, 2026 at 5:52 AM
There's a group of what look like about 5 teenagers outside, walking somewhere, clowning around, and I am of so many minds. On one hand, it feels weirdly good and so rare to see teenagers existing in public. On the other, it's really cold out, kids! And ever-present is "you're gonna get COVID, y0".
How many of y'all still have a Cheer Up, Juan Uribe t-shirt somewhere?
February 1, 2026 at 5:36 AM
How many of y'all still have a Cheer Up, Juan Uribe t-shirt somewhere?
Come to think of it, I haven't ever seen D.B. Cooper and Jack the Ripper in the same place.
February 1, 2026 at 5:04 AM
Come to think of it, I haven't ever seen D.B. Cooper and Jack the Ripper in the same place.
I think I just learned about a new level of reality.
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February 1, 2026 at 4:53 AM
I think I just learned about a new level of reality.
I need to find a 10 hour loop of the guy saying "MC Hammer pants" from the one station ID that the local "Rewind" station uses.
February 1, 2026 at 4:47 AM
I need to find a 10 hour loop of the guy saying "MC Hammer pants" from the one station ID that the local "Rewind" station uses.
When are we getting Ciampa vs. Big Boom AJ? 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:59 AM
When are we getting Ciampa vs. Big Boom AJ? 🤼
Has anyone in pro wrestling ever used the tag team name "No One Else Likes Us"? 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:41 AM
Has anyone in pro wrestling ever used the tag team name "No One Else Likes Us"? 🤼
I didn't even get to yell about Penelope and her friend being out there! Lots happenin'! 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:06 AM
I didn't even get to yell about Penelope and her friend being out there! Lots happenin'! 🤼
Weren't a bad episode of Collision! Could've done without Darby and Kidd, still tired of people saying "But this terrible person can do flippy shit!" (Hi, Will), but the rest was very good.
Enjoyed watchin' with y'all! See you on Wednesday for some other shenanigans.
🤼
Enjoyed watchin' with y'all! See you on Wednesday for some other shenanigans.
🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:05 AM
Weren't a bad episode of Collision! Could've done without Darby and Kidd, still tired of people saying "But this terrible person can do flippy shit!" (Hi, Will), but the rest was very good.
Enjoyed watchin' with y'all! See you on Wednesday for some other shenanigans.
🤼
Enjoyed watchin' with y'all! See you on Wednesday for some other shenanigans.
🤼
Thekla totally posing like that meme with the bro at the grave! 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Thekla totally posing like that meme with the bro at the grave! 🤼
C'MON, AMINATA, BIG BUCKS, NO WHAMMIES...
🤼
🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:03 AM
C'MON, AMINATA, BIG BUCKS, NO WHAMMIES...
🤼
🤼
HERE COMES THEKLA! AND HERE COMES STAT! 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:02 AM
HERE COMES THEKLA! AND HERE COMES STAT! 🤼
Been a couple awkward landings between Julia and Willow in the past minute or three. Hope they're both OK. 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 2:59 AM
Been a couple awkward landings between Julia and Willow in the past minute or three. Hope they're both OK. 🤼
Willow is the best babyface in the business. 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 2:57 AM
Willow is the best babyface in the business. 🤼
I caught that, Nigel. 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 2:54 AM
I caught that, Nigel. 🤼
Thank you, Tony, for bringing Nigel back on (hot) topic. 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 2:52 AM
Thank you, Tony, for bringing Nigel back on (hot) topic. 🤼
Harley's Sling Blade is getting better. 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Harley's Sling Blade is getting better. 🤼