Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear
@scottcrawford.org
linktr.ee/ineednewhobbies
Hanging out in my living room on the Internet. Please be (un)cool enough to hang out here.
Interactions frequently set to follows-only.
If you're not into pro wrestling, you should mute this emoji: 🤼♂
they/them
Hanging out in my living room on the Internet. Please be (un)cool enough to hang out here.
Interactions frequently set to follows-only.
If you're not into pro wrestling, you should mute this emoji: 🤼♂
they/them
Pinned
New followers!
Old followers!
Say hello!
Always nice to hear from humans who don't suck!
Even nice, or at least informative, to hear from humans who do suck, because then I can block you.
But mostly, this is here, and will stay here for a while, so's I can get to know you.
I follow sometimes!
Old followers!
Say hello!
Always nice to hear from humans who don't suck!
Even nice, or at least informative, to hear from humans who do suck, because then I can block you.
But mostly, this is here, and will stay here for a while, so's I can get to know you.
I follow sometimes!
New followers!
Old followers!
Say hello!
Always nice to hear from humans who don't suck!
Even nice, or at least informative, to hear from humans who do suck, because then I can block you.
But mostly, this is here, and will stay here for a while, so's I can get to know you.
I follow sometimes!
Old followers!
Say hello!
Always nice to hear from humans who don't suck!
Even nice, or at least informative, to hear from humans who do suck, because then I can block you.
But mostly, this is here, and will stay here for a while, so's I can get to know you.
I follow sometimes!
February 3, 2026 at 9:46 AM
New followers!
Old followers!
Say hello!
Always nice to hear from humans who don't suck!
Even nice, or at least informative, to hear from humans who do suck, because then I can block you.
But mostly, this is here, and will stay here for a while, so's I can get to know you.
I follow sometimes!
Old followers!
Say hello!
Always nice to hear from humans who don't suck!
Even nice, or at least informative, to hear from humans who do suck, because then I can block you.
But mostly, this is here, and will stay here for a while, so's I can get to know you.
I follow sometimes!
I briefly unblocked Gaiman to see if I had him followed (I did not), but while I had him unblocked, I saw that 34 of my follows (more than 10%!) have him followed still, so depending on how you feel about this whole situation (read up on him if you haven't), y'all might wanna look into this.
Worth noting that blocking someone you follow doesn't remove you from their follow list, so it's possible a chunk of those people don't realise they show up as still following him.
February 3, 2026 at 9:29 AM
I briefly unblocked Gaiman to see if I had him followed (I did not), but while I had him unblocked, I saw that 34 of my follows (more than 10%!) have him followed still, so depending on how you feel about this whole situation (read up on him if you haven't), y'all might wanna look into this.
INBOX ZERO, MOTHERFUCKERS
February 3, 2026 at 8:56 AM
INBOX ZERO, MOTHERFUCKERS
Past and present Red Bank residents and regulars, I was just looking around town on Street View and was stunned to see that Mr. Pizza Slice is, at least as of last fall, still there. Staggering. Good for them, though. Surviving is tough.
February 3, 2026 at 6:37 AM
Past and present Red Bank residents and regulars, I was just looking around town on Street View and was stunned to see that Mr. Pizza Slice is, at least as of last fall, still there. Staggering. Good for them, though. Surviving is tough.
Hey, if the office told me I still had to work with Chase Owens, I'd bail as well.
Best of luck to Hiromu (whose real calling is as a game show host, host of either an adults-only talk show or adults-only kids show, or world leader) in whatever comes next after New Japan.
Best of luck to Hiromu (whose real calling is as a game show host, host of either an adults-only talk show or adults-only kids show, or world leader) in whatever comes next after New Japan.
NEW JAPAN PRO-WRESTLING
www.njpw1972.com
February 3, 2026 at 1:42 AM
Hey, if the office told me I still had to work with Chase Owens, I'd bail as well.
Best of luck to Hiromu (whose real calling is as a game show host, host of either an adults-only talk show or adults-only kids show, or world leader) in whatever comes next after New Japan.
Best of luck to Hiromu (whose real calling is as a game show host, host of either an adults-only talk show or adults-only kids show, or world leader) in whatever comes next after New Japan.
I just watched Wanda (1970) and A Woman Under the Influence (1974) back-to-back, both first-time watches.
I also once went on the Batman ride at Six Flags Great Adventure six times in a row, in the front car, in the rain, on acid, if you wanna talk about similar life experiences.
📽️
I also once went on the Batman ride at Six Flags Great Adventure six times in a row, in the front car, in the rain, on acid, if you wanna talk about similar life experiences.
📽️
February 2, 2026 at 12:32 PM
I just watched Wanda (1970) and A Woman Under the Influence (1974) back-to-back, both first-time watches.
I also once went on the Batman ride at Six Flags Great Adventure six times in a row, in the front car, in the rain, on acid, if you wanna talk about similar life experiences.
📽️
I also once went on the Batman ride at Six Flags Great Adventure six times in a row, in the front car, in the rain, on acid, if you wanna talk about similar life experiences.
📽️
Reposted by Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear
If just one celebrity was in that room wearing a KN95 it could change a lot for folks to see that, just one.
February 2, 2026 at 6:50 AM
If just one celebrity was in that room wearing a KN95 it could change a lot for folks to see that, just one.
OK, what's everyone else with a sleep disorder wanna do now?
February 2, 2026 at 4:51 AM
OK, what's everyone else with a sleep disorder wanna do now?
Someone should start a "HORSE COCK" chant at the Grammys. 🤼
February 2, 2026 at 3:20 AM
Someone should start a "HORSE COCK" chant at the Grammys. 🤼
Me, watching y'all watch the Grammys:
The Cure won 2 Grammys!
The Cure won 2 Grammys!
February 2, 2026 at 2:53 AM
Me, watching y'all watch the Grammys:
The Cure won 2 Grammys!
The Cure won 2 Grammys!
Tonight, to compound my already bad decision, I'm yelling "GO, BABY, GO!" à la Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! at the delivery map screen instead of humming the Raiders of the Lost Ark music.
February 2, 2026 at 1:10 AM
Tonight, to compound my already bad decision, I'm yelling "GO, BABY, GO!" à la Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! at the delivery map screen instead of humming the Raiders of the Lost Ark music.
Babylon (2022)
February 1, 2026 at 9:02 PM
Babylon (2022)
Despite what everyone thinks has happened, it's now March 2164th, 2020, not January 32nd, 2026.
Really, it's more like March 5452nd, 2011 (I still contend that shit went wrong when people were mean as fuck to Rebecca Black about "Friday") or November 9224th, 2000 or some shit before that, pick 'em.
Really, it's more like March 5452nd, 2011 (I still contend that shit went wrong when people were mean as fuck to Rebecca Black about "Friday") or November 9224th, 2000 or some shit before that, pick 'em.
February 1, 2026 at 10:37 AM
Despite what everyone thinks has happened, it's now March 2164th, 2020, not January 32nd, 2026.
Really, it's more like March 5452nd, 2011 (I still contend that shit went wrong when people were mean as fuck to Rebecca Black about "Friday") or November 9224th, 2000 or some shit before that, pick 'em.
Really, it's more like March 5452nd, 2011 (I still contend that shit went wrong when people were mean as fuck to Rebecca Black about "Friday") or November 9224th, 2000 or some shit before that, pick 'em.
There's a group of what look like about 5 teenagers outside, walking somewhere, clowning around, and I am of so many minds. On one hand, it feels weirdly good and so rare to see teenagers existing in public. On the other, it's really cold out, kids! And ever-present is "you're gonna get COVID, y0".
February 1, 2026 at 5:52 AM
There's a group of what look like about 5 teenagers outside, walking somewhere, clowning around, and I am of so many minds. On one hand, it feels weirdly good and so rare to see teenagers existing in public. On the other, it's really cold out, kids! And ever-present is "you're gonna get COVID, y0".
How many of y'all still have a Cheer Up, Juan Uribe t-shirt somewhere?
February 1, 2026 at 5:36 AM
How many of y'all still have a Cheer Up, Juan Uribe t-shirt somewhere?
Come to think of it, I haven't ever seen D.B. Cooper and Jack the Ripper in the same place.
February 1, 2026 at 5:04 AM
Come to think of it, I haven't ever seen D.B. Cooper and Jack the Ripper in the same place.
I think I just learned about a new level of reality.
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February 1, 2026 at 4:53 AM
I think I just learned about a new level of reality.
I need to find a 10 hour loop of the guy saying "MC Hammer pants" from the one station ID that the local "Rewind" station uses.
February 1, 2026 at 4:47 AM
I need to find a 10 hour loop of the guy saying "MC Hammer pants" from the one station ID that the local "Rewind" station uses.
When are we getting Ciampa vs. Big Boom AJ? 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:59 AM
When are we getting Ciampa vs. Big Boom AJ? 🤼
Has anyone in pro wrestling ever used the tag team name "No One Else Likes Us"? 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:41 AM
Has anyone in pro wrestling ever used the tag team name "No One Else Likes Us"? 🤼
I didn't even get to yell about Penelope and her friend being out there! Lots happenin'! 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:06 AM
I didn't even get to yell about Penelope and her friend being out there! Lots happenin'! 🤼
Weren't a bad episode of Collision! Could've done without Darby and Kidd, still tired of people saying "But this terrible person can do flippy shit!" (Hi, Will), but the rest was very good.
Enjoyed watchin' with y'all! See you on Wednesday for some other shenanigans.
🤼
Enjoyed watchin' with y'all! See you on Wednesday for some other shenanigans.
🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:05 AM
Weren't a bad episode of Collision! Could've done without Darby and Kidd, still tired of people saying "But this terrible person can do flippy shit!" (Hi, Will), but the rest was very good.
Enjoyed watchin' with y'all! See you on Wednesday for some other shenanigans.
🤼
Enjoyed watchin' with y'all! See you on Wednesday for some other shenanigans.
🤼
Thekla totally posing like that meme with the bro at the grave! 🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Thekla totally posing like that meme with the bro at the grave! 🤼
C'MON, AMINATA, BIG BUCKS, NO WHAMMIES...
🤼
🤼
February 1, 2026 at 3:03 AM
C'MON, AMINATA, BIG BUCKS, NO WHAMMIES...
🤼
🤼