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REVENGER G/T

@revengergt.bsky.social

160 followers 61 following 1.2K posts

like if a 70s TV detective couldn’t even solve a crossword puzzle

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REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 7h

the only way I could like my job more is if it paid 200K a year, didn’t have a dress code and supplied with me a Buick Grand National and a letter from the governor that said speed limits do not apply to me

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 7h

MAGNUM: Man, I’m tired. I had to chase a guy halfway across Oahu this morning.

TC: I feel ya, I’ve been working overtime running the helicopter tours.

RICK: I know the feeling, I’m so tired from owning my night club.

*silence*

HIGGINS: You piece of shit

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 9h

Oh my God. This is like discovering a lost chapter of your favorite book

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 20h

possibly my favorite one based alone on how hard Bam goes down

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 23h

That’s so funny! I remember myself and a lot of people in that same boat and then other kids my age who somehow just had it with no supervision

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 23h

It must’ve been the “sexual themes” aspect of the M rating that deterred them. Little did they know I had already been exposed to many “sexual themes” by way of the Knuckles raps in Sonic Adventure 2

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 23h

I say this because they let me play DRIV3R, (which I still love despite its many flaws) and it was rated M for a lot of the same stuff but at no point in that game do I recall a character getting their pole polished, or even having the opportunity to

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 23h

I remember arguing with my parents as a child about not being allowed to play GTA. Looking back I don’t think it was the violence and swearing that put them off as much the fact that your virtual avatar could get his hog handled. I should’ve explained that activity occurs entirely offscreen

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 23h

not a thought in that head. Got enough money for a down payment on a house in 45 minutes and then stole a dodge viper right out of the showroom just to deliberately drive it into the ocean

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 23h

TRUE OR FALSE: Your manager is allowed to pulverize your nuts with a meat tenderizer if you make a mistake on a spreadsheet.

ME (didn’t pay attention to the training module): Ah, fuck. This one is hard

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 23h

lately when I’ve had a little time to kill I’ve been playing through GTA III on an emulator. Earlier I got twenty thousand dollars stealing a truck and dropping it off two minutes away at The Docks. What a killer job that would be. Being the guy from GTA III

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 1d

Erik, Erik! There’s a McDonald’s right there!!!

Don’t be foolish, Charles. There’s an Arby’s but one exit up the highway

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 1d

I love watching cooking videos where the person comes back after two hours, takes the lid off and says “Oh that’s absolutely gorgeous” about a pot of brown water

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 1d

oh sure blame it on me. as if I had anything to do with all that stuff I did

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 2d

I can’t post a photo for the sake of his privacy but my father owns multiple life-size cardboard cutouts of himself and every time I use his garage he’s moved them and they routinely scare the fuck out of me

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 2d

Toyota will build you a commuter car that you can beat on like a rental paid for by somebody you hate and it will just keep going

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 2d

a close up of a person 's hand holding a watch .

ALT: a close up of a person 's hand holding a watch .

media.tenor.com

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 2d

close enough

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 2d

I’ve no choice but to get puzzled on NyQuil and hope I wake up 13 hours from now completely normal and fixed

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 3d

ahhhh you know it’s full of spiders and snakes and shit

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 3d

not doing great over here

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 3d

Once again I’ve shielded you from harm

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 3d

well there it is. I’m coughing up yellow stuff. not a color you want to be coughing up, though there are worse ones

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 3d

a lot of things I tweet are just because I don’t want them to bounce around in my head forever. I don’t like the majority of them. But It does keep me from saying them out loud in a social situation

REVENGER G/T @revengergt.bsky.social · 3d

if my own bloated corpse tried to rock out a sneakret Lake Mungo on me I’d snap my 1911 loose from twixt cheeks and waistband and send it to second heaven, a world where Jimmy Page’s riffs weren’t written by a man who deserves to be in prison