Author | Lightnews

Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 2d

Work only as hard as you are paid.

If your CEO gets paid 300x your salary, watch how hard he works. Then work 300x less hard.

#FollowForMoreWorkStrategyTips

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 2d

If your still in line to vote… STAY in line!!

#VOTEHARDER

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 3d

THE AMERICAN DREAM

Then:
Own home, have family, take vacations, leave a little something for your kids.

Now:
Save enough to one day afford adding guacamole on your burrito order.

🇺🇸

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 3d

Did DOGE save enough money to give people on SNAP food?

🇺🇸

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 4d

Thing won’t change until you stop commuting to work for them every day.

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 4d

Imagine how bad things would be getting now if we hadn’t done No Kings that one time.

🇺🇸

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 4d

Im old enough to remember when lunch didn’t cost $34

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 8d

BREAKING NEWS

SNAP assistance for food stops this month due to government shutdown.

However, the administration is offering special Klarna loan rates at Chipotle to make up for it.*

*not applicable to guacamole

🇺🇸

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 9d

Question about ICE Protests 🇺🇸

why don’t all ICE protestors wear face coverings and “Not Police” like uniforms?

The entire crowd wearing matching clothes can be a nice aesthetic.

Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 10d

COVID : NOT SURE WHAT TO BELIEVE

1 “Covid is really bad; don’t spread it”
*Source: 500,000 science journals

2 “Covid really isn’t as bad as people say”
*Source: Trust Me Bro

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 10d

I need some good luck y’all..
…keep your fingers and toes crossed for me.*

*Note: pics of toes bring extra luck

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 10d

BREAKING NOW

Public Health officials are warning of a NEW EPIDEMIC affecting even celebrities and influencers.

Airborne Burnout and Airborne Stress are now among the top 5 reported illnesses in 2025.

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 11d

BREAKING: NEW PANDEMIC

Scientist and doctors say that the NEXT WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC is already endemic.

Might as well spread it to kids now.

Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 11d

“He is worth over $240 billion ..”

Worth? Stole.

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 11d

We are giving them 9 more No Kings MAX…

… after that, if they don’t change things… then they are in trouble.

🇺🇸

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 11d

STOPPING FASCISM

Anyone else wanna do a No Kings this weekend?

I don’t have any vacation days left so it’s gotta be on Sunday probably. Saturday I’m playing pickleball.

🇺🇸

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 11d

Anyone know any promotional deals on interest rates for grocery loans right now?

🇺🇸

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 13d

None of the SICK BURNS stopped the fascism…

.. now what?

#NoKings

🇺🇸

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 13d

TIPS FOR STRUGGLING AMERICANS

If you are an American struggling to survive right now ..

.. just know that we have already renamed the Gulf of Mexico in your honor.

🇺🇸

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 13d

Height is just a meaningless number.

#MyNumberIsOver6ft

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 13d

Many historians don’t know this …

..but the authors of the US Constitution wrote the First Amendment with tear gas.

🇺🇸

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 13d

As someone who’s over 6ft in height …

.. I’ve never understood this OBSESSION so many people seem to have about height.

#SoWhatIfICanReachHighShelvesAndSeeOverCrowdsImJustAPersonLikeYouButAlsoVeryHandsome

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 14d

We CANNOT keep going like this for much longer.

The situation is not sustainable.

#soFewFeetPics

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 15d

UNCERTAIN TIMES

Someone at the supermarket today:

.. “so..you’re over 6ft in height… that’s clear… but what’s your thoughts on veggie burger vs hamburger?”

#LotsOfUncertaintyOutThere
#WeGottaBuildCommunituInTimesLikeThis

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Pessimistic Persimmon @pessimisticpersim.bsky.social · 15d

Many people ask me ..
.. “what it’s like to be over 6ft in height?”..

.. well.. sorry to break the mystique but we pay extremely high prices for groceries just like everyone else.

🇺🇸

#NoSpecialCouponsAvailable

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