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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 1d

My father died without a will, but I’m inheriting his fear.

Of dying before I make it to what I’m fighting for.
Of not being around to save the people I love.

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 1d

We fought about it. I told him I’d never get the grace my brother did.

The problem was I didn’t need as much grace. The problem was the expectation is higher for your favorites. The problem was he was so scared of not being around to save us.

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 1d

I was my father’s heart for ten minutes. I put the color back in his skin.

He would have told you it was a lot longer than ten minutes but I didn’t like him saying it. You aren’t supposed to have a favorite child. At the very least you aren’t supposed to say it out loud.

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 1d

I’m ruining one my favorite songs. My throat aches and I can’t know if it’s from the half of the sobs I’m swallowing or the infection that killed him co-opting the machinery of my body; either way its altering my dna. I feel the compressions in my breast bone and what holds it to my ribs.

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 1d

What kind of sick joke is it to make someone a losing bet and the good man in a storm? You’re really going to make an eldest daughter the man of the house and you’re gonna make sure their siblings have to bury them?

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 1d

I’m 925 words in.

I’m wondering

who will write mine.
who else really could write his.
if I’ll make it through next year.
if I’ll ever believe I won’t die young.
if I’ll ever see the desert again.
who’s gonna hold me like that.
how the fuck I make it back out to sea.

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 1d

Listening to Love Ain’t Enough by the Barr Brothers on repeat while trying to write an obituary for my dad and not having him here to read it over and tell me if I’ve got any of the little details wrong.

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Reposted by JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg

Lisa @tuexplorer1.bsky.social · 3d

This kinda looks like one of those black ctenophores, just pale. 4413m @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social check that one out! From @nautiluslive.org #CookIslands #MarineLife

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Reposted by JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg

JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 4d

My father died suddenly in our home this past Sunday. I am fighting against the overwhelming revulsion I have to asking for financial support to ask for help covering my access to healthcare for the remainder of the year so that I can focus on supporting my mom.
gofund.me/7be865eb6

Donate to JA focus on supporting mom after dad Jonathan Fay's death, organized by Jamie Andersen Fields

On Sunday, October 5th, my mom found my dad Jonathan Fay unco… Jamie Andersen Fields needs your support for JA focus on supporting mom after dad Jonathan Fay's death

www.gofundme.com

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Reposted by JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg

Jen Strongin @jensseattle.bsky.social · 3d

My friend and very dear human, Jamie, lost their Dad unexpectedly this past week.. If you have the means, please consider helping them, no amount is too small. I would also ask that as you move through the world, please mask up and stay home when you are sick if you can.

JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 4d

My father died suddenly in our home this past Sunday. I am fighting against the overwhelming revulsion I have to asking for financial support to ask for help covering my access to healthcare for the remainder of the year so that I can focus on supporting my mom.
gofund.me/7be865eb6

Donate to JA focus on supporting mom after dad Jonathan Fay's death, organized by Jamie Andersen Fields

On Sunday, October 5th, my mom found my dad Jonathan Fay unco… Jamie Andersen Fields needs your support for JA focus on supporting mom after dad Jonathan Fay's death

www.gofundme.com

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 4d

💜😭

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 4d

I appreciate you and I’m sending love your way too. I haven’t seen your updates in a while but I know you were going through a lot too 💜

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 4d

My father died suddenly in our home this past Sunday. I am fighting against the overwhelming revulsion I have to asking for financial support to ask for help covering my access to healthcare for the remainder of the year so that I can focus on supporting my mom.
gofund.me/7be865eb6

Donate to JA focus on supporting mom after dad Jonathan Fay's death, organized by Jamie Andersen Fields

On Sunday, October 5th, my mom found my dad Jonathan Fay unco… Jamie Andersen Fields needs your support for JA focus on supporting mom after dad Jonathan Fay's death

www.gofundme.com

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 6d

He was so fucking scared he was going to die before he could retire and that the stress of his job would kill him and he was scared of what would happen to everyone if he did.

And it happened.

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 6d

They tried for maybe forty minutes. He died in his office. He died working in a stupid project he was supposed to present on Monday for work even though he had Covid. He died right above where I’m sitting in my room trying to figure out what to do.

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 6d

I cradled his head & told him I loved him and I was here & getting help and I was so sorry as I had to dump him out of his chair because he has a spinal injury & I was scared of hurting him. But I got him on the floor and I did the compressions and his color was coming back & I thought he’d make it

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 6d

My dad died last night. I think he was dead when we found him but I did compressions until the ambulance arrived and his color was coming back but they just couldn’t get his heart going again. I talked to him an hour before, but he wasn’t answering when I told him I’d made it home with his dinner.

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 7d

Get vaccinated and wear a fucking mask. And please fucking stay home and rest when you are sick if at all and as much as possible. And do whatever you can to support the people in your lives in doing the same.

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Reposted by JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg

JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 7d

The Lovers

#nudibranch Art Print 🐡

shop.noncompliantcyborg.com/product/the-lovers-leopard-dorid-pair-art-prints

A pair of leopard dorids pressed together, likely mating. These two white sea slugs have bumpy bodies with brown spots, yellow rhinophores, and a circle of white fluffy gills.

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 7d

The Lovers

#nudibranch Art Print 🐡

shop.noncompliantcyborg.com/product/the-lovers-leopard-dorid-pair-art-prints

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 7d

That’s the idea! I celebrate on both 😊
For next year I am going to set up the iNat project to be on both days - I just set it up too late this year to do that.

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Reposted by JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg

Pawel Burkhardt @pawelburkhardt.bsky.social · 8d

HAPPY CTENOPHORE DAY (part I).

The fjords around Bergen are full with Mnemiopsis right now. Movie by the amazing @alexandrejan.bsky.social @msarscentre.bsky.social #ctenophores #GoPro

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JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 8d

Love love love these illustrations!

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Reposted by JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg

Nick Bezio @beziostudio.bsky.social · 8d

Happy Ctenophore day! Its a perfect day to celebrate such a small yet beautifully diverse phyla that comes in a wide array of shapes and colors. #Ctenophoreday

Drawing of various Ctenophore anatomies showing the diversity of the phylum. center/front, top left, and right are lobate ctenophores, center/back is a beroid or nuda ctenophore, center/right is a cydippid or tentacled ctenophore, and bottom/left is a benthic ctenophore

A drawing of the Blood belly comb jelly ctenophore (comb jelly) which is known for its stricking red coloration that helps it live in the deep sea

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Reposted by JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg

JA Fields | NonCompliantCyborg @noncompliantcyborg.bsky.social · 9d

Happy Ctenophore Day!
🐙🦑🧪

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