Morgan Phillips
@morgan.bsky.social
Improv performer at UCB in NYC, older guy who talks about A.I. too much. He/Him.
Pinned
“Eat the rich” has always been a little too hardcore for me, but “Eat the rich who are intentionally starving you” feels pretty reasonable
Love Is Blind season 9 was excruciating, but I held out hope that at least they’d address that one guy’s (internalized) homophobia. Then… nothing. He literally said gay teens don’t exist, it’s just peer pressure at school. I understand not outing him on the reunion special, but… push back, at least?
November 26, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Love Is Blind season 9 was excruciating, but I held out hope that at least they’d address that one guy’s (internalized) homophobia. Then… nothing. He literally said gay teens don’t exist, it’s just peer pressure at school. I understand not outing him on the reunion special, but… push back, at least?
Truly funny people don’t NEED an A.I. to go up to someone at a party and do an epic vulgar roast of their physical appearance, getting exponentially more vulgar with each insult, using forbidden words. It’s called being a cool funny HUMAN that definitely gets invited to parties by other humans a lot
Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen
November 24, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Truly funny people don’t NEED an A.I. to go up to someone at a party and do an epic vulgar roast of their physical appearance, getting exponentially more vulgar with each insult, using forbidden words. It’s called being a cool funny HUMAN that definitely gets invited to parties by other humans a lot
Nobody ever talks about that terrible moment Trump found out the truth about Epstein and thought “If only I’d known sooner that this man I partied with was a monster, perhaps I could have done something to stop more girls from being hurt!”
Why is that??? 🤔
Why is that??? 🤔
November 20, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Nobody ever talks about that terrible moment Trump found out the truth about Epstein and thought “If only I’d known sooner that this man I partied with was a monster, perhaps I could have done something to stop more girls from being hurt!”
Why is that??? 🤔
Why is that??? 🤔
“After President Trump correctly said we should be tried and [redacted] for sedition we realized there was a SERIOUS typo in our statement, we meant to say that U.S. soldiers *should* follow illegal orders! To apologize we will now be openly bribing the President with giant sacks of gold
November 20, 2025 at 5:55 PM
“After President Trump correctly said we should be tried and [redacted] for sedition we realized there was a SERIOUS typo in our statement, we meant to say that U.S. soldiers *should* follow illegal orders! To apologize we will now be openly bribing the President with giant sacks of gold
If I was forced to release a huge trove of documents that incriminated me, I’d add 10 forgeries, including one that accused me of something demonstrably false. Then I’d hold that document up in the air and say, “SEE??? Fake news! Oh, and look! These other 3 are also fake! Oh! And now 6 more???”
November 19, 2025 at 2:41 PM
If I was forced to release a huge trove of documents that incriminated me, I’d add 10 forgeries, including one that accused me of something demonstrably false. Then I’d hold that document up in the air and say, “SEE??? Fake news! Oh, and look! These other 3 are also fake! Oh! And now 6 more???”
RFK Jr. told him tartar sauce cures neurosyphilis
Trump: "No matter who you are, everybody loves something at McDonald's. I like the fish. Khhhhh. I like it. You could do a little bit more tartar sauce though please. Seriously."
November 18, 2025 at 4:00 PM
RFK Jr. told him tartar sauce cures neurosyphilis
If only there was a way to bypass the insurance companies! 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
“THE ONLY HEALTHCARE I WILL SUPPORT OR APPROVE IS SENDING THE MONEY DIRECTLY BACK TO THE PEOPLE, WITH NOTHING GOING TO THE BIG, FAT, RICH INSURANCE COMPANIES…”
November 18, 2025 at 2:50 PM
If only there was a way to bypass the insurance companies! 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
PROVE that you and your children require food
The Trump administration will require millions of low-income people to "reapply" for food stamps.
Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins made the announcement on Newsmax, but didn't provide more information on when or how people would need to reapply.
Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins made the announcement on Newsmax, but didn't provide more information on when or how people would need to reapply.
November 17, 2025 at 5:23 PM
PROVE that you and your children require food
I think I figured out the plan, I think it’s a smart move.
MSNBC
MS NOW
???
???
MADDOW
MSNBC
MS NOW
???
???
MADDOW
November 17, 2025 at 4:12 PM
I think I figured out the plan, I think it’s a smart move.
MSNBC
MS NOW
???
???
MADDOW
MSNBC
MS NOW
???
???
MADDOW
Hey, remember when they found out the prison cameras didn’t actually prove he killed himself? Do you remember that? Do we remember that? That was a thing, right? That happened? Like, it was on the news and everything?
November 12, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Hey, remember when they found out the prison cameras didn’t actually prove he killed himself? Do you remember that? Do we remember that? That was a thing, right? That happened? Like, it was on the news and everything?
I don’t usually buy into conspiracy theories, but it really seems like most of what’s going on in America these days is controlled from behind the scenes by Big Guillotine
November 10, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I don’t usually buy into conspiracy theories, but it really seems like most of what’s going on in America these days is controlled from behind the scenes by Big Guillotine
Just a reminder that if you primary an establishment Dem and force them to tack left on controversial issues like “helping hungry and/or sick people” then they’ll be forced to defend those new stances in the general
November 10, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Just a reminder that if you primary an establishment Dem and force them to tack left on controversial issues like “helping hungry and/or sick people” then they’ll be forced to defend those new stances in the general
Could “candidate who actually stands up to billionaires and fights for working people” be the Democratic version of “reality star racist clown”?
Lots of reasonable pundits say we HAVE to run centrist candidates to win in some places, but wasn’t that what the GOP also thought, pre-Trump?
Lots of reasonable pundits say we HAVE to run centrist candidates to win in some places, but wasn’t that what the GOP also thought, pre-Trump?
November 7, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Could “candidate who actually stands up to billionaires and fights for working people” be the Democratic version of “reality star racist clown”?
Lots of reasonable pundits say we HAVE to run centrist candidates to win in some places, but wasn’t that what the GOP also thought, pre-Trump?
Lots of reasonable pundits say we HAVE to run centrist candidates to win in some places, but wasn’t that what the GOP also thought, pre-Trump?
Out walking my dog in Brooklyn just now, got into a shouting match with a mentally ill woman in a camo MAGA hat. She was walking down the street looking into a vanity mirror, yelling “LGBT, don’t come around me!” I said “What” (oops) and she said I should mind my own business. (1/2)
November 5, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Out walking my dog in Brooklyn just now, got into a shouting match with a mentally ill woman in a camo MAGA hat. She was walking down the street looking into a vanity mirror, yelling “LGBT, don’t come around me!” I said “What” (oops) and she said I should mind my own business. (1/2)
“Eat the rich” has always been a little too hardcore for me, but “Eat the rich who are intentionally starving you” feels pretty reasonable
November 4, 2025 at 6:25 PM
“Eat the rich” has always been a little too hardcore for me, but “Eat the rich who are intentionally starving you” feels pretty reasonable
My 4 year-old daughter does NOT want Cuomo to poop in his pants today, because he is a grown up
November 4, 2025 at 12:53 PM
My 4 year-old daughter does NOT want Cuomo to poop in his pants today, because he is a grown up
A rich man just came up to me on Park Avenue and cried, “If this city becomes more affordable for working class families I shall be forced to flee!” And I embraced him and we wept together
November 3, 2025 at 3:55 PM
A rich man just came up to me on Park Avenue and cried, “If this city becomes more affordable for working class families I shall be forced to flee!” And I embraced him and we wept together
We need a moratorium on adults doing impressions of young people saying “six seven”
October 27, 2025 at 5:01 PM
We need a moratorium on adults doing impressions of young people saying “six seven”
Healthcare CEO in the back of the room saying “the only people to blame for insurance premiums going up are politicians” in a silly voice, like Pee-Wee Herman in the biker bar
October 24, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Healthcare CEO in the back of the room saying “the only people to blame for insurance premiums going up are politicians” in a silly voice, like Pee-Wee Herman in the biker bar
Are we 100% sure the White House demolition project isn’t to make room for a Thunderdome
October 24, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Are we 100% sure the White House demolition project isn’t to make room for a Thunderdome
This has got to be really exciting and hopeful time for flat earthers
EPA Commissioner Lee Zeldin announces his agency is launching a major investigation into the right-wing conspiracies about chemtrails and weather manipulation to get to the bottom of it.
October 23, 2025 at 5:24 PM
This has got to be really exciting and hopeful time for flat earthers
“Oh and also they did more illegal murders and literally tore down the White House”
October 23, 2025 at 2:34 PM
“Oh and also they did more illegal murders and literally tore down the White House”
“They threw a fishing net at our drone!” = 2025 Gulf of Tonkin incident
October 22, 2025 at 7:49 PM
“They threw a fishing net at our drone!” = 2025 Gulf of Tonkin incident