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Matt Green

@mattgreencomedy.com

39K followers 350 following 1.9K posts

Comedian, satirist, writer, actor SEE ME LIVE ON TOUR THIS AUTUMN! https://www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-tickets-adp1421297

www.livenation.co.uk

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 11d

Why is Keir Starmer obsessed with Nigel Farage?

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Reposted by Matt Green

catherineoriordan.bsky.social @catherineoriordan.bsky.social · 8h

www.glee.co.uk/performer/ma...

@ my fellow Brum tofu-eating wokerati: please do book up for the splendid @mattgreencomedy.com at the Glee Club on 1 November.

Matt Green - Live Comedy at The Glee Club

Online comedy star Matt Green returns with brand new jokes about the state of politics, the world and himself.

www.glee.co.uk

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 8h

Oh sorry to hear that. The venues aren’t big so it’s always possible to sort something out but sounds like this isn’t fixable now…

Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 10h

I’m sure we could work that out. I’m not in charge of tickets but if you email me the details I can talk to the promoter and I’m sure we can get your son in!

Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 10h

Absolutely not! The Glee is a great venue and sales are looking pretty good there I believe…

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 10h

Thank you to everyone who came to my final preview tonight at @poodleclub.bsky.social! A really lovely crowd and a great way to finish my preparations for my tour. I'm really excited about taking the show on the road from next week!

www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-t...

Matt Green Tickets, Tour and Concert Dates – www.livenation.co.uk

www.livenation.co.uk

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 18h

Join us at the @theytheatre.bsky.social on Friday! My first tour date so if nothing else I will definitely be excited to be there! ytheatre.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 18h

Ah brilliant see you there!

Reposted by Matt Green

Slurmsadako MacKenzie @slurmsmackenzie.bsky.social · 1d

GenAI truly was the worst technology to come along at this moment.

An energy and water guzzler when we most urgently need to take climate action.

A disinformation machine as our journalism fails.

A bias machine as fascism takes root.

A job killer in a cost of living crisis.

Bria "tries to write a book" Horses @thevoidencore.bsky.social · 6d

The "cognitive decline and brain damage from repeat COVID infections" and "easy to use robot that makes slop and melts your critical thinking skills" is a hell of a combo in a post-fact media ecosystem

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 1d

Sadly

Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 1d

*vomits*

Cans of Pringles with “Santa’s Secret Flavour”

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 1d

I’m not going to go back and check but I have a vague memory about that. Just an astonishingly horrible case

Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 1d

There are few stories that have shocked me more than the Ian Watkins one. Just waded over to X to check something, and yes his account is still there, still has 24k followers and his last post before being arrested (apart from some obvious spam) is still grimly appropriate:

16/12/2012
Well.....that escalated pretty quickly......I do apologise....

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Reposted by Matt Green

Andrew Harrison @nndroid.bsky.social · 1d

The BBC just can’t stop wasting licence fee payers’ money.

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Reposted by Matt Green

Adam Mallinger @bitterscriptreader.bsky.social · 2d

Every A.I. CEO is like “We invented a robot that can fuck your wife so you have more free time to mow the lawn!”

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 1d

Just got a flu jab and my NHS surgery is just so phenomenally efficient at those sorts of things. Was in the building for about 60secs tops. Just waned to share some positivity for once!

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 1d

I’ve been getting regular ones as being self employed it’s very annoying to get it. Didn’t stop me getting it in Edinburgh but I didn’t feel too bad at least

Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 1d

Haha! You wouldn’t have been the only one by any means

Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 1d

There’s a comment piece in The Times about sickness benefits mysteriously going up and no mention of Covid, long Covid, the effects of lockdown etc. Boosters help people stay healthy, but now they are only available to the very old or people who can afford them.

Jason Hazeley @jasonhazeley.bsky.social · 1d

It’s dispiriting that this is what getting a COVID vaccination now looks like to this chronic asthmatic.

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 1d

As Jonn says in the piece: no. The problem is that not enough people see how extreme it has become.

Jonn Elledge @jonnelledge.bsky.social · 1d

The platform formerly known as Twitter may be horrible, but it is still shaping policy. So were we all wrong to leave?

Was the left wrong to leave X for BlueSky?

The platform formerly known as Twitter may be horrible, but it's still shaping policy

www.newstatesman.com

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 2d

Your own mind

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 2d

Fair

Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 2d

This has been fun and reminded me of loads of songs in my collection that I had forgotten about..

Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 2d

The Power of Love - Huey Lewis and the News 5/10
The Power of Love - Frankie Goes To Hollywood 9/10

14/10

Rob Davies @byrobdavies.bsky.social · 2d

Fun music game.

Take two songs with the same name and post your combined score out of 10. How high can you get?

No covers/no triples (e.g. Power of Love)

My first effort, which i think is hard to beat...

Zombie (Fela Kuti) 10/10
Zombie (The Cranberries) 7/10

Total score: 17

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 2d

Road Rage - Dizzee Rascal 6/10
Road Rage - Catatonia 8/10

14/20

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 2d

The River - Elbow 7/10
The River - Bruce Springsteen 10/10

17/10

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Matt Green @mattgreencomedy.com · 2d

Poison - The Prodigy 9/10
Poison - Alice Cooper - 8/10

17/10