Marco the Maker
@marcothemaker.bsky.social
I'm a retired chef. These days I make a living making adult novelties, dildos, ummkay! I also dabble in woodworking, painting, sculpting, photography, ceramics, learning to grow food. I'm an ADHD dog hooman and leftie secular humanist. I EFFING LOVE coffee
Pinned
Hi! I'm Marco! I’m a retired chef & anti-fascist who studied culinary arts, world history, civics, & polysci. I now make adult novelties for a living.
I’m learning to grow food & as a person.
I paint, sculpt, woodwork, tinker, & enjoy problem solving.
No gods, kings, lords, or masters. EVER.
I’m learning to grow food & as a person.
I paint, sculpt, woodwork, tinker, & enjoy problem solving.
No gods, kings, lords, or masters. EVER.
25 years ago a lightning storm in December here in Florida was pretty rare. In fact highly unlikely. Freaking lights have been flickering...
December 8, 2025 at 12:49 AM
25 years ago a lightning storm in December here in Florida was pretty rare. In fact highly unlikely. Freaking lights have been flickering...
This is why I have a Little Free Library.
December 7, 2025 at 11:44 PM
This is why I have a Little Free Library.
I was thinking that I should be close with the bed of carrots. Holy moly I've got carrots.
December 7, 2025 at 5:26 PM
I was thinking that I should be close with the bed of carrots. Holy moly I've got carrots.
Today in crazy customer service land. An email asking if we had any tentacle "flops" but in some very specific colors. I replied kindly, with no etc. They replied asking me to make them the specific "flop" then discount it, and asked if they could get a 20% Black Friday discount on top of that.
December 6, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Today in crazy customer service land. An email asking if we had any tentacle "flops" but in some very specific colors. I replied kindly, with no etc. They replied asking me to make them the specific "flop" then discount it, and asked if they could get a 20% Black Friday discount on top of that.
Some time ago the team and I set out to create some gateway toys that were both fantasy and friendly to someone who might have considered getting a fantasy toy but found them to be somewhat intimidating, too big, too outlandish, scary.. Limiting themselves to realistic and abstracts as a safe buy.🧵
December 5, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Some time ago the team and I set out to create some gateway toys that were both fantasy and friendly to someone who might have considered getting a fantasy toy but found them to be somewhat intimidating, too big, too outlandish, scary.. Limiting themselves to realistic and abstracts as a safe buy.🧵
Casper is Mr Teefus. Mr Teefus likes blueberries.
December 4, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Casper is Mr Teefus. Mr Teefus likes blueberries.
Hows this, trying to read a story in the Orlando Sentinel about the fate of the Orlando Sentinel buildings in downtown Orlando, only to get hit with a paywall for the Orlando Sentinel article about the old Orlando Sentinel buildings. Eat shit Orlando Sentinel - Alden Global Capital hedge fund dicks.
December 3, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Hows this, trying to read a story in the Orlando Sentinel about the fate of the Orlando Sentinel buildings in downtown Orlando, only to get hit with a paywall for the Orlando Sentinel article about the old Orlando Sentinel buildings. Eat shit Orlando Sentinel - Alden Global Capital hedge fund dicks.
In 1983, we watched a movie called War Games, where, essentially an AI was given control of our Nukes. It scared the crap out of everyone.
I watched A House of Dynamite last night. I'm already stressed about our "government" Now, after watching it, there's not enough TP on the planet, Gezus fuck.
I watched A House of Dynamite last night. I'm already stressed about our "government" Now, after watching it, there's not enough TP on the planet, Gezus fuck.
December 3, 2025 at 2:42 PM
In 1983, we watched a movie called War Games, where, essentially an AI was given control of our Nukes. It scared the crap out of everyone.
I watched A House of Dynamite last night. I'm already stressed about our "government" Now, after watching it, there's not enough TP on the planet, Gezus fuck.
I watched A House of Dynamite last night. I'm already stressed about our "government" Now, after watching it, there's not enough TP on the planet, Gezus fuck.
Records on deck.
December 2, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Records on deck.
I've got four rescue dogs, one big fur ball I paid for, and a cat! Plus my house is fuc*in nuts, especially this time of year. This young lady here needs a quiet home. I wish I could save them all. Every last one of them. Anyone who adopts Melia gets $100 from me.
It's December. The goal is to find MELIA a home for Christmas. We can do this. Over 810 days waiting. Poor baby. A quiet adult only home, no dogs, cats are ok. 3.5 years old, around 50 lbs. Come on New York!
Hempstead Animal Shelter
(516) 785-5220
3320 Beltagh Avenue , Unit
Wantagh, NY 11793
Hempstead Animal Shelter
(516) 785-5220
3320 Beltagh Avenue , Unit
Wantagh, NY 11793
December 1, 2025 at 10:03 PM
I've got four rescue dogs, one big fur ball I paid for, and a cat! Plus my house is fuc*in nuts, especially this time of year. This young lady here needs a quiet home. I wish I could save them all. Every last one of them. Anyone who adopts Melia gets $100 from me.
The camera adds extra pounds and years! 😁
Mr. James set up a camera while I was doing busy work, telling a story about something and had no clue that it was recording. @bettybutch.bsky.social
www.instagram.com/reel/DRpcqqQ...
Mr. James set up a camera while I was doing busy work, telling a story about something and had no clue that it was recording. @bettybutch.bsky.social
www.instagram.com/reel/DRpcqqQ...
Instagram
www.instagram.com
November 30, 2025 at 8:33 PM
The camera adds extra pounds and years! 😁
Mr. James set up a camera while I was doing busy work, telling a story about something and had no clue that it was recording. @bettybutch.bsky.social
www.instagram.com/reel/DRpcqqQ...
Mr. James set up a camera while I was doing busy work, telling a story about something and had no clue that it was recording. @bettybutch.bsky.social
www.instagram.com/reel/DRpcqqQ...
Good morning.
Teef.
Teef.
November 30, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Good morning.
Teef.
Teef.
Apparently I'm an "aged white dude" - Wearing a Mickey Mouse flannel, sitting at a table stuffing bags with mini dildos and candy. Life goals.
Oh, and, look at my marvelous moustache!
Oh, and, look at my marvelous moustache!
Marco prepping little bags with a teenie, a piece of candy, and a card to go out with Black Friday orders..
Our sale starts at midnight on the east coast!
Our sale starts at midnight on the east coast!
November 28, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Apparently I'm an "aged white dude" - Wearing a Mickey Mouse flannel, sitting at a table stuffing bags with mini dildos and candy. Life goals.
Oh, and, look at my marvelous moustache!
Oh, and, look at my marvelous moustache!
Rutabaga and Radishes fresh from the dirt...
November 27, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Rutabaga and Radishes fresh from the dirt...
YouTube channel that loops Snoopy to some lofi jazz is about as groovy as it gets on Turkey Day morning.
November 27, 2025 at 2:04 PM
YouTube channel that loops Snoopy to some lofi jazz is about as groovy as it gets on Turkey Day morning.
Tom Hanks branded adult movies called Hanks Spanks?
Tom Hanks branded Perfume called Hank’s Stanks
Tom Hanks reading these and appreciating the relevancy - Hanks Thanks
November 27, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Tom Hanks branded adult movies called Hanks Spanks?
Good morning and happy Turkey day.
November 27, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Good morning and happy Turkey day.
In advance, Happy Turkey Day to anyone who isn't attending a Turkey dinner because Cheeto has destroyed your family, who now can't be at the same table, room, city, and state with each other. If you need someone to chat with tomorrow, send me a DM and I'll trade puppy and gardening pics with you.
November 26, 2025 at 6:12 PM
In advance, Happy Turkey Day to anyone who isn't attending a Turkey dinner because Cheeto has destroyed your family, who now can't be at the same table, room, city, and state with each other. If you need someone to chat with tomorrow, send me a DM and I'll trade puppy and gardening pics with you.
Stalking your Amazon driver... After all, they give you a map and it says you're three stops away. New Bluetooth speaker has arrived and the music is back on in the make room.
November 25, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Stalking your Amazon driver... After all, they give you a map and it says you're three stops away. New Bluetooth speaker has arrived and the music is back on in the make room.
Forever chemicals on your fucking lettuce, broccoli, and potatoes, among other things. I know its expensive, but buy organic as much as possible and start growing your own food instead of grass. Ive been at it since spray tan was elected because I saw this coming. Spring is just months away...
November 24, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Forever chemicals on your fucking lettuce, broccoli, and potatoes, among other things. I know its expensive, but buy organic as much as possible and start growing your own food instead of grass. Ive been at it since spray tan was elected because I saw this coming. Spring is just months away...
November 23, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Okay, these look like fun. The VW aesthetic has me all, "TAKE MY MONEY!" But reality check says these are illegal mopeds. At least in Orlando.
November 23, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Okay, these look like fun. The VW aesthetic has me all, "TAKE MY MONEY!" But reality check says these are illegal mopeds. At least in Orlando.
For those of you who cannot live without music. Stick Figure released a new album called Free Flow Sessions. I just ordered my copy on Vinyl. Straight up mystical music and subtle or no lyrics.
stickfigurestore.com/products/fre...
stickfigurestore.com/products/fre...
November 22, 2025 at 5:32 PM
For those of you who cannot live without music. Stick Figure released a new album called Free Flow Sessions. I just ordered my copy on Vinyl. Straight up mystical music and subtle or no lyrics.
stickfigurestore.com/products/fre...
stickfigurestore.com/products/fre...
I have a want for Christmas...!
kbongshop.com/products/han...
I'm like, I cant be spending money on myself for stuff like this. But it is stuff like this that I'd absolutely buy for someone else without batting an eye....
kbongshop.com/products/han...
I'm like, I cant be spending money on myself for stuff like this. But it is stuff like this that I'd absolutely buy for someone else without batting an eye....
Framed Handwritten Lyrics - OPEN MY EYES
Signed and Numbered #1 - 200 by KBong. Handwritten with pen, ink and colored pencil. No copies, all one of a kind 🙂 Lyric Paper - 8.5" x 11" Comes with Wood Frame - 12" x 15". *Note they will be chos...
kbongshop.com
November 19, 2025 at 10:43 PM
I have a want for Christmas...!
kbongshop.com/products/han...
I'm like, I cant be spending money on myself for stuff like this. But it is stuff like this that I'd absolutely buy for someone else without batting an eye....
kbongshop.com/products/han...
I'm like, I cant be spending money on myself for stuff like this. But it is stuff like this that I'd absolutely buy for someone else without batting an eye....
CW - Adult Novelties...
We started with the Fascinus a few years ago and just added a Cthulhu and the Bjarg Dragon! In ancient Rome, the Fascinus was the embodiment of the divine, winged phallus effigies and amulets which provided divine protection to those who wore them.
www.uberrime.com
We started with the Fascinus a few years ago and just added a Cthulhu and the Bjarg Dragon! In ancient Rome, the Fascinus was the embodiment of the divine, winged phallus effigies and amulets which provided divine protection to those who wore them.
www.uberrime.com
November 17, 2025 at 1:21 AM
CW - Adult Novelties...
We started with the Fascinus a few years ago and just added a Cthulhu and the Bjarg Dragon! In ancient Rome, the Fascinus was the embodiment of the divine, winged phallus effigies and amulets which provided divine protection to those who wore them.
www.uberrime.com
We started with the Fascinus a few years ago and just added a Cthulhu and the Bjarg Dragon! In ancient Rome, the Fascinus was the embodiment of the divine, winged phallus effigies and amulets which provided divine protection to those who wore them.
www.uberrime.com