Laocoon
@laocooncitheronia.bsky.social
About as popular as a port-o-potty full of bees.
Does not meet expectations, unless you're expecting bees.
LAY-oh-kahn
https://laocooncitheronia.substack.com/
https://patreon.com/LaocoonCitheronia
Does not meet expectations, unless you're expecting bees.
LAY-oh-kahn
https://laocooncitheronia.substack.com/
https://patreon.com/LaocoonCitheronia
As I sit here cowering bc it might come to pass that I will hold my ex accountable for our disparate incomes in the marriage settlement and for the fact that I gave up my career for his, which he is now profiting amazingly from, ALL I can do is cry bc he will be mad at me.
I am an embarrassment.
I am an embarrassment.
December 9, 2025 at 8:40 PM
As I sit here cowering bc it might come to pass that I will hold my ex accountable for our disparate incomes in the marriage settlement and for the fact that I gave up my career for his, which he is now profiting amazingly from, ALL I can do is cry bc he will be mad at me.
I am an embarrassment.
I am an embarrassment.
I'm saying this here because I don't want to burden anyone in particular, but - they can give the rest of my years to someone else. I don't want them. I don't want any of them.
Today has been another pile of shit that I don't want or need.
Take them. All of them.
Fuck all this.
Today has been another pile of shit that I don't want or need.
Take them. All of them.
Fuck all this.
December 7, 2025 at 7:49 PM
I'm saying this here because I don't want to burden anyone in particular, but - they can give the rest of my years to someone else. I don't want them. I don't want any of them.
Today has been another pile of shit that I don't want or need.
Take them. All of them.
Fuck all this.
Today has been another pile of shit that I don't want or need.
Take them. All of them.
Fuck all this.
Looks like the Church of Satan got themselves a marketing department in the last six months. They made a movie, got a whole new line of merch, and opened a social media platform. Interesting shit.
www.facebook.com/SATANMEOffic...
www.facebook.com/SATANMEOffic...
Satanme
Satanme. 10,341 likes · 1,506 talking about this. We are dedicated to crafting high-quality, infernal designs with authenticity and purpose. Every piece we create is a reflection of the satanic...
www.facebook.com
December 7, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Looks like the Church of Satan got themselves a marketing department in the last six months. They made a movie, got a whole new line of merch, and opened a social media platform. Interesting shit.
www.facebook.com/SATANMEOffic...
www.facebook.com/SATANMEOffic...
I dont want to go to work again.
It's manifesting as an actual pain in my chest, a gaping hole of horror. It's hard to breathe. Time off makes it worse, bc you forget and then the remembering is a horror.
I should have focused on making money instead of service.
It's manifesting as an actual pain in my chest, a gaping hole of horror. It's hard to breathe. Time off makes it worse, bc you forget and then the remembering is a horror.
I should have focused on making money instead of service.
December 3, 2025 at 1:26 PM
I dont want to go to work again.
It's manifesting as an actual pain in my chest, a gaping hole of horror. It's hard to breathe. Time off makes it worse, bc you forget and then the remembering is a horror.
I should have focused on making money instead of service.
It's manifesting as an actual pain in my chest, a gaping hole of horror. It's hard to breathe. Time off makes it worse, bc you forget and then the remembering is a horror.
I should have focused on making money instead of service.
If this becomes a real thing, which I have been really hopeful from the moment he was elected that it would, then I would develop a real rule-of-law+revenge hardon, except that the only people who are going to suffer bc of this whole bullshit trajectory is us regular people.
Costco sues the Trump administration, seeking a refund of tariffs
Costco sues the Trump administration, seeking a refund of tariffs
The wholesaler is the latest company to sue a federal agency over the president's signature economic policy.
www.nbcnews.com
December 2, 2025 at 2:27 AM
If this becomes a real thing, which I have been really hopeful from the moment he was elected that it would, then I would develop a real rule-of-law+revenge hardon, except that the only people who are going to suffer bc of this whole bullshit trajectory is us regular people.
Wearing two sweaters today:
1- Makes me look homeless
2- Still not enough
Cold is creeping into all the joinery, stiffening everything, cracking rubber and plastic apparatuses. Brittle. Unmanageable. Demanding.
1- Makes me look homeless
2- Still not enough
Cold is creeping into all the joinery, stiffening everything, cracking rubber and plastic apparatuses. Brittle. Unmanageable. Demanding.
December 1, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Wearing two sweaters today:
1- Makes me look homeless
2- Still not enough
Cold is creeping into all the joinery, stiffening everything, cracking rubber and plastic apparatuses. Brittle. Unmanageable. Demanding.
1- Makes me look homeless
2- Still not enough
Cold is creeping into all the joinery, stiffening everything, cracking rubber and plastic apparatuses. Brittle. Unmanageable. Demanding.
Boy, I'm awesome at (belated) thanksgiving dinner (she said, preemptively). I can't wait to eat all this shit.
November 30, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Boy, I'm awesome at (belated) thanksgiving dinner (she said, preemptively). I can't wait to eat all this shit.
A full foot of snow, all told. A man is walking his dog out there well before dawn. I hope he feels wonder and a muted calm. I better go get my ibuprofen because I'm into round four with the shovel and then it's over.
November 30, 2025 at 10:58 AM
A full foot of snow, all told. A man is walking his dog out there well before dawn. I hope he feels wonder and a muted calm. I better go get my ibuprofen because I'm into round four with the shovel and then it's over.
With great snow comes great shoveling.
a little girl in a pink jacket is shoveling the snow
ALT: a little girl in a pink jacket is shoveling the snow
media.tenor.com
November 29, 2025 at 7:56 PM
With great snow comes great shoveling.
That snow is HERE. It's a lot of snow. And me cooking Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, so prep is today. The house is all root vegetable smelling, candied yams and pies and stuff, warm.
Gotta shovel again soon, though, or pay the piper tomorrow.
Gotta shovel again soon, though, or pay the piper tomorrow.
November 29, 2025 at 6:29 PM
That snow is HERE. It's a lot of snow. And me cooking Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, so prep is today. The house is all root vegetable smelling, candied yams and pies and stuff, warm.
Gotta shovel again soon, though, or pay the piper tomorrow.
Gotta shovel again soon, though, or pay the piper tomorrow.
Northwestern University may be spineless, but let's not fucking forget the real villain here.
When it's over, if it ever is, NU will be less humane, diminished... and still standing. That's the choice. That's the tragedy. Not the ones that die by authoritarianism. The ones that live though it.
When it's over, if it ever is, NU will be less humane, diminished... and still standing. That's the choice. That's the tragedy. Not the ones that die by authoritarianism. The ones that live though it.
November 29, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Northwestern University may be spineless, but let's not fucking forget the real villain here.
When it's over, if it ever is, NU will be less humane, diminished... and still standing. That's the choice. That's the tragedy. Not the ones that die by authoritarianism. The ones that live though it.
When it's over, if it ever is, NU will be less humane, diminished... and still standing. That's the choice. That's the tragedy. Not the ones that die by authoritarianism. The ones that live though it.
Looks like a fucking foot of snow tomorrow, if you can believe it.
November 28, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Looks like a fucking foot of snow tomorrow, if you can believe it.
I think what I need to do is really embrace not giving a fuck. Maybe that's it.
a telephone with a clear entry button
ALT: a telephone with a clear entry button
media.tenor.com
November 28, 2025 at 2:04 AM
I think what I need to do is really embrace not giving a fuck. Maybe that's it.
You can't really beat dong fu.
Tonight's streaming Movie Night Holiday Pregame special includes black market body parts, robots, dong fu, cannibals, Dr. Pervert, and placenta.
Preshow 6pm eastern, features at 8pm. Runs till about 1am. Live chat. Access is free. You're invited.
thesatanictemple.tv/programs/tst...
Preshow 6pm eastern, features at 8pm. Runs till about 1am. Live chat. Access is free. You're invited.
thesatanictemple.tv/programs/tst...
TST3K Movie Night with The Satanic Temple
Lucien Greaves' infamous watch party. Every Wednesday at 3:00pm Pacific / 6:00pm Eastern.
thesatanictemple.tv
November 26, 2025 at 8:39 PM
You can't really beat dong fu.
These motherfuckers just don't relent, I'll give them that.
The last time Oklahoma approved a taxpayer-funded religious charter school, it ended with a 7-1 smackdown by the state Supreme Court.
Now they’re trying again—hoping the U.S. Supreme Court will bail them out.
Full story 👇
www.friendlyatheist.com/p/a-new-reli...
Now they’re trying again—hoping the U.S. Supreme Court will bail them out.
Full story 👇
www.friendlyatheist.com/p/a-new-reli...
A new religious charter school could open in Oklahoma. The last one was ruled illegal.
A second attempt to use taxpayer dollars for religious indoctrination exposes a coordinated assault on church–state separation
www.friendlyatheist.com
November 25, 2025 at 5:03 PM
These motherfuckers just don't relent, I'll give them that.
Incisive analysis on graphic design in comments.
Why, um. Why are the letters so…penetration-y.
It’s all probes and apertures.
It’s all probes and apertures.
I’m very sorry to announce this to the rest of the country & the world, but a transitional logo has been chosen for the 2034 Salt Lake City Olympics & this is it. Why does it say Utah? We don’t know. Why is the font illegible? Yet another mystery. Did they go ugly on purpose? Again, no idea.
November 25, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Incisive analysis on graphic design in comments.
Never thought I'd see Denis Fahey's name on social media. Fahey's antisemitism is only a fraction of the problem with this guy, I'm afraid.
Read his BS here, incl some fabrications at the bottom about what he might have said about abortion: www.virgosacrata.com/program-of-c...
Read his BS here, incl some fabrications at the bottom about what he might have said about abortion: www.virgosacrata.com/program-of-c...
November 25, 2025 at 11:43 AM
Never thought I'd see Denis Fahey's name on social media. Fahey's antisemitism is only a fraction of the problem with this guy, I'm afraid.
Read his BS here, incl some fabrications at the bottom about what he might have said about abortion: www.virgosacrata.com/program-of-c...
Read his BS here, incl some fabrications at the bottom about what he might have said about abortion: www.virgosacrata.com/program-of-c...
I guess there must have been a moment when the Amish decided "you know what? Tech is going on without us. We're gonna build barns and die a natural death."
AI is my moment. I'll die before I'll talk to one in earnest. I'll look crazy in 20 years, but I look crazy now, so it's not that far to walk.
AI is my moment. I'll die before I'll talk to one in earnest. I'll look crazy in 20 years, but I look crazy now, so it's not that far to walk.
November 23, 2025 at 11:59 PM
I guess there must have been a moment when the Amish decided "you know what? Tech is going on without us. We're gonna build barns and die a natural death."
AI is my moment. I'll die before I'll talk to one in earnest. I'll look crazy in 20 years, but I look crazy now, so it's not that far to walk.
AI is my moment. I'll die before I'll talk to one in earnest. I'll look crazy in 20 years, but I look crazy now, so it's not that far to walk.
All hail CrabGPT
“I asked ChatGPT” “I asked Claude” I asked this horseshoe crab and he said your ass wouldn’t have lasted two seconds in the Triassic
November 23, 2025 at 11:51 PM
All hail CrabGPT
Reposted by Laocoon
Help fill the wishlist for the new High School Satan Club in Nevada!
So exciting! 🤘🐐📚
So exciting! 🤘🐐📚
Extra, extra! 🐐📰
The Satanic Temple has announced that a high school in Las Vegas is officially approved as the first-ever High School Satan Club in Nevada!
Support the club and the students bringing religious pluralism & religious freedom to their campus 👉🏽 www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
The Satanic Temple has announced that a high school in Las Vegas is officially approved as the first-ever High School Satan Club in Nevada!
Support the club and the students bringing religious pluralism & religious freedom to their campus 👉🏽 www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
November 23, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Help fill the wishlist for the new High School Satan Club in Nevada!
So exciting! 🤘🐐📚
So exciting! 🤘🐐📚
Every time I get off the phone with my lawyer, I am launched into a week long panic attack about some confusion she sowed. I think she comes to meetings without having reviewed the details, is guesstimating in ways that aren't relevant in my specific case, and I am to stupid to stop it.
November 22, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Every time I get off the phone with my lawyer, I am launched into a week long panic attack about some confusion she sowed. I think she comes to meetings without having reviewed the details, is guesstimating in ways that aren't relevant in my specific case, and I am to stupid to stop it.
I had a dream with extremely large caterpillars in it. Like cat size. It was one of those dreams that feels fine but when you wake up, it feels like a nightmare. Maybe the nightmare was actually just being awake. I wonder what is true.
a fluffy cat laying on a green leaf with a black background
ALT: a fluffy cat laying on a green leaf with a black background
media.tenor.com
November 21, 2025 at 11:13 AM
I had a dream with extremely large caterpillars in it. Like cat size. It was one of those dreams that feels fine but when you wake up, it feels like a nightmare. Maybe the nightmare was actually just being awake. I wonder what is true.
Today is cancelled due to lack of interest.
November 19, 2025 at 11:39 AM
Today is cancelled due to lack of interest.
I wouldn't trust Marge Greene to make a peanut butter sandwich. Christ Jesus, turn her mic off. She's an opportunist and she's making her play, so let her do it without us having to watch.
November 16, 2025 at 11:34 PM
I wouldn't trust Marge Greene to make a peanut butter sandwich. Christ Jesus, turn her mic off. She's an opportunist and she's making her play, so let her do it without us having to watch.
Oh good. The anger. Here it is.
There are things you can't change. They don't have to be the rocks you break yourself on. They can be a liberation from striving for impossibilities, if you just let yourself redefine the word "precious."
Why not? Everyone else can do it. Why not me?
There are things you can't change. They don't have to be the rocks you break yourself on. They can be a liberation from striving for impossibilities, if you just let yourself redefine the word "precious."
Why not? Everyone else can do it. Why not me?
November 14, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Oh good. The anger. Here it is.
There are things you can't change. They don't have to be the rocks you break yourself on. They can be a liberation from striving for impossibilities, if you just let yourself redefine the word "precious."
Why not? Everyone else can do it. Why not me?
There are things you can't change. They don't have to be the rocks you break yourself on. They can be a liberation from striving for impossibilities, if you just let yourself redefine the word "precious."
Why not? Everyone else can do it. Why not me?