Lachlan
@lachlanwatt.bsky.social
Horror author, sometimes musician, dirtbag. If you used to follow me, I promise I'm better now. No AI whatsoever.
Me with a nosebleed on the way home from the shops while my 8 year old son reminds me not to tilt my head back.
November 27, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Me with a nosebleed on the way home from the shops while my 8 year old son reminds me not to tilt my head back.
Counterpoint: the rich should continue to die on Everest. Their deaths will sharpen that peak into a tool for eradicating the wealthy. When they all move to their planned Martian colony, we will saw the top off that mountain and launch it at them, fulfilling its destiny.
People should stop climbing mt everest
November 27, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Counterpoint: the rich should continue to die on Everest. Their deaths will sharpen that peak into a tool for eradicating the wealthy. When they all move to their planned Martian colony, we will saw the top off that mountain and launch it at them, fulfilling its destiny.
Watched a very silly indie horror movie that tried to sneak some Samuel Barber over their end credits. My dudes, nothing about your low-budget splatterfest earned Adagio For Strings. Replace that with some grindcore right away.
November 25, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Watched a very silly indie horror movie that tried to sneak some Samuel Barber over their end credits. My dudes, nothing about your low-budget splatterfest earned Adagio For Strings. Replace that with some grindcore right away.
Life Cycle is an interesting no-budget science fiction movie about a man who creates an AI companion in order to better understand himself and other humans. It doesn't unfold quite the way you expect, and there's occasional, intriguing flashes of something much darker and weirder under the surface.
November 15, 2025 at 4:56 AM
Life Cycle is an interesting no-budget science fiction movie about a man who creates an AI companion in order to better understand himself and other humans. It doesn't unfold quite the way you expect, and there's occasional, intriguing flashes of something much darker and weirder under the surface.
Wow, what a terrible movie! Literally nothing works and the filmmakers seem to know it, which is probably why they can't go five seconds without showing you something gross. Decent-ish cast, but when the funniest thing in your movie is Fred Durst just Dursting around you know you got problems.
November 10, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Wow, what a terrible movie! Literally nothing works and the filmmakers seem to know it, which is probably why they can't go five seconds without showing you something gross. Decent-ish cast, but when the funniest thing in your movie is Fred Durst just Dursting around you know you got problems.
All these ghouls are clinging to existence like they got the phone call from the Mademoiselle at the end of Martyrs. Cheney didn't even have a heartbeat for the last decade of his life.
November 4, 2025 at 12:15 PM
All these ghouls are clinging to existence like they got the phone call from the Mademoiselle at the end of Martyrs. Cheney didn't even have a heartbeat for the last decade of his life.
Hostile Dimensions is one of those movies where you know you're in good hands from the very first frame. More compelling than a lot of movies with far more zeros at the end of their budget. The ropiness of some of the effects only added to its charm.
October 28, 2025 at 7:33 AM
Hostile Dimensions is one of those movies where you know you're in good hands from the very first frame. More compelling than a lot of movies with far more zeros at the end of their budget. The ropiness of some of the effects only added to its charm.
My hobby is reading articles that attempt to divine S. Craig Zahler's politics and getting mad at them.
October 25, 2025 at 4:56 AM
My hobby is reading articles that attempt to divine S. Craig Zahler's politics and getting mad at them.
I feel like those guys in New Zealand who planned to assassinate a certain world leader by launching a Toyota at his motorcade with a trebuchet should have been given at least one free crack at that, too.
One of my least rational beliefs is that if you pull off a heist without hurting anyone or getting caught within a day, that's your stuff fair and square.
October 20, 2025 at 6:42 AM
I feel like those guys in New Zealand who planned to assassinate a certain world leader by launching a Toyota at his motorcade with a trebuchet should have been given at least one free crack at that, too.
Thinking of messaging someone I haven't spoken to in years just so I can be satisfied they're fully aware that Ringo Lam's City On Fire is free to watch on Tubi and Kanopy at the moment.
October 15, 2025 at 4:49 AM
Thinking of messaging someone I haven't spoken to in years just so I can be satisfied they're fully aware that Ringo Lam's City On Fire is free to watch on Tubi and Kanopy at the moment.
Reposted by Lachlan
#Booksky, I have a self-pubbed bleak novel currently available about a cursed family, set in a small town, with a good dose of folk horror & a mysterious entity:
Suffer.
Surrender.
The choice is yours.
Kindle/KU: mybook.to/XIvD2
GR: shorturl.at/2i9LO
Find out more: shorturl.at/bMDQx
Suffer.
Surrender.
The choice is yours.
Kindle/KU: mybook.to/XIvD2
GR: shorturl.at/2i9LO
Find out more: shorturl.at/bMDQx
October 15, 2025 at 4:45 AM
#Booksky, I have a self-pubbed bleak novel currently available about a cursed family, set in a small town, with a good dose of folk horror & a mysterious entity:
Suffer.
Surrender.
The choice is yours.
Kindle/KU: mybook.to/XIvD2
GR: shorturl.at/2i9LO
Find out more: shorturl.at/bMDQx
Suffer.
Surrender.
The choice is yours.
Kindle/KU: mybook.to/XIvD2
GR: shorturl.at/2i9LO
Find out more: shorturl.at/bMDQx
Reposted by Lachlan
NFT joke goes here.
October 13, 2025 at 8:10 AM
NFT joke goes here.
Reposted by Lachlan
Do not buy my books from Amazon or Down and Out Books directly. I will not get paid. I should get paid, as per my contract, but in an email from D&O I’ve been told ‘no further payments will be issued.’
It absolutely blows it is ending this way, but man, pay your authors what they are owed.
It absolutely blows it is ending this way, but man, pay your authors what they are owed.
October 7, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Do not buy my books from Amazon or Down and Out Books directly. I will not get paid. I should get paid, as per my contract, but in an email from D&O I’ve been told ‘no further payments will be issued.’
It absolutely blows it is ending this way, but man, pay your authors what they are owed.
It absolutely blows it is ending this way, but man, pay your authors what they are owed.
Gonna call every company I pay money to and ask them to charge me less. Gonna be very clear that I don't want to change plans or receive less service. I just don't think they deserve as much money as I currently pay them.
October 6, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Gonna call every company I pay money to and ask them to charge me less. Gonna be very clear that I don't want to change plans or receive less service. I just don't think they deserve as much money as I currently pay them.
Reposted by Lachlan
Everything we try seems to break down at last, and the only answer to that which we ever find is the brute simplicity of Caesar.
--Poul Anderson, THE PEOPLE OF THE WIND
This sentence has haunted me for 50 years now.
--Poul Anderson, THE PEOPLE OF THE WIND
This sentence has haunted me for 50 years now.
October 5, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Everything we try seems to break down at last, and the only answer to that which we ever find is the brute simplicity of Caesar.
--Poul Anderson, THE PEOPLE OF THE WIND
This sentence has haunted me for 50 years now.
--Poul Anderson, THE PEOPLE OF THE WIND
This sentence has haunted me for 50 years now.
Really wish there was some kind of code requiring mandatory disclosure of the use of generative AI in media. I don't want to see it, and I certainly don't want to inadvertently boost movies, TV shows or books that have made use of it at any point in their production.
September 30, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Really wish there was some kind of code requiring mandatory disclosure of the use of generative AI in media. I don't want to see it, and I certainly don't want to inadvertently boost movies, TV shows or books that have made use of it at any point in their production.
He probably can't remember the name of the director or even the title of the film, but the psychic damage he took when Parasite won best picture and the degree to which it ruined his obsessive Oscars watching are both very, very funny to me.
September 29, 2025 at 2:18 PM
He probably can't remember the name of the director or even the title of the film, but the psychic damage he took when Parasite won best picture and the degree to which it ruined his obsessive Oscars watching are both very, very funny to me.
Nice to see the cookers that infest the area around my wife's workplace are handing out unadulterated white supremacist literature. Nothing I appreciate like being handed an anti-race mixing leaflet while carrying my mixed-race daughter. I hope we continue to let them radicalize themselves further.
September 28, 2025 at 6:08 AM
Nice to see the cookers that infest the area around my wife's workplace are handing out unadulterated white supremacist literature. Nothing I appreciate like being handed an anti-race mixing leaflet while carrying my mixed-race daughter. I hope we continue to let them radicalize themselves further.
My son is watching a video that lists the mistakes in Yakko's World and the creator keeps chiming in to say, "Tell me if you think Taiwan/Palestine/Kosovo is a real country!" That comment section must look like the box the cenobites came out of.
September 26, 2025 at 10:02 AM
My son is watching a video that lists the mistakes in Yakko's World and the creator keeps chiming in to say, "Tell me if you think Taiwan/Palestine/Kosovo is a real country!" That comment section must look like the box the cenobites came out of.
I can't hear the phrase "food chain" without thinking of an old coworker who used to lose a fight every weekend. He'd come into work with a badly bruised face and tell everyone he didn't know why this kept happening because he was "at the top of the food chain!" in high school.
September 21, 2025 at 12:34 AM
I can't hear the phrase "food chain" without thinking of an old coworker who used to lose a fight every weekend. He'd come into work with a badly bruised face and tell everyone he didn't know why this kept happening because he was "at the top of the food chain!" in high school.
Reposted by Lachlan
Limited time offer: leave a comment with the title of your book and I will blurb it for free without reading it.
September 20, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Limited time offer: leave a comment with the title of your book and I will blurb it for free without reading it.
I Rock from 2010. "Musicians are oblivious, ridiculous creeps" isn't an original premise, but this show nailed it. Not sure it needed a second season, but its combination of Always Sunny and Spinal Tap deserved a bigger audience.
Everyone has a 1-2 season TV show they sorely miss and not enough people knew about that you are always praising the heavens about.
What's yours?
What's yours?
September 13, 2025 at 7:50 AM
I Rock from 2010. "Musicians are oblivious, ridiculous creeps" isn't an original premise, but this show nailed it. Not sure it needed a second season, but its combination of Always Sunny and Spinal Tap deserved a bigger audience.
I can't bring myself to have much of an opinion on the death of some weird little freak, other than to note that the fact I am expected to have some kind of opinion is a demonstration of the outsized role weird little freaks play in the current political ecosystem.
September 11, 2025 at 9:26 AM
I can't bring myself to have much of an opinion on the death of some weird little freak, other than to note that the fact I am expected to have some kind of opinion is a demonstration of the outsized role weird little freaks play in the current political ecosystem.
Reposted by Lachlan
Expect to see Elon wearing his kid like a backpack for a while
September 11, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Expect to see Elon wearing his kid like a backpack for a while
As a teenager I remember watching a sitcom, complete with laugh track, based on Kafka's The Metamorphosis. If I concentrate I can conjure up snippets of the theme song and flashes of a scene in which a plumber is fixing the giant bug's garbage disposal. The problem is that none of this ever existed.
September 10, 2025 at 12:16 AM
As a teenager I remember watching a sitcom, complete with laugh track, based on Kafka's The Metamorphosis. If I concentrate I can conjure up snippets of the theme song and flashes of a scene in which a plumber is fixing the giant bug's garbage disposal. The problem is that none of this ever existed.