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STRIDER

@kineticedge.bsky.social

27 followers 23 following 52 posts

🗡️ This user has exceeded their emotional processing bandwidth. Pretending_not_to_dissociate.exe has been terminated. Pfp: https://x.com/brokuma

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STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · Aug 28

📌 PINNED POST – 𝗗𝗜𝗥𝗞 𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗥

❌ I don’t run ships here. don’t expect them.

✅ Mostly lurking, dropping the occasional dry commentary, poking fun when it feels right, and me watching more than I talk.

🗡️ If you need consistent validation, wrong guy.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 16d

Princess Karkat is canon.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 16d

Do it. I'll allow it. Put him in the pinkest, frilliest dress you can conjure. Bonus points if you get photographic evidence.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 16d

What the fuck are you talking about?

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 16d

Go ahead, siphon it. I regenerate cool consistently. Like a renewable resource.

But if you stand too close you’ll either ascend to my level or be crushed under the weight of pure, concentrated/unfiltered COOL. odds aren’t great for you.

I'm winning either way.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 16d

[🗡️] Anyways just because the other two are more tolerant and laid back doesn’t mean I am.

Keep killing our vibes and watch how fast I’ll cut you out. consider this your friendly/lethal warning.

It’s NOT our job to teach you how to be self aware.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 16d

Imagine being your own worst enemy AND your best hype man at the same time.

tragic.
iconic.
✨ me ✨

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 22d

Cool. So what you’re saying is, if we’re doomed to be villains, we might as well look good doing it...

True, true. If I’m destined to be the bad guy in concept, might as well lean into it with
✨ style ✨

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 22d

Get... Thanks. Redacting that s. You didn't see shit.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 22d

Pickles? Really? That’s the hill you’re dying on?

The only thing I harbor a burning desire for is plausible deniability.

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐤𝐚 𝐂𝐲𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐫𝐨 @techopped.bsky.social · 24d

We decided with full confidence that you secretly harbored a burning desire for my pickles. Check, it, dude. It's right there. Page 5640.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 24d

You picked that date way too confidently. What do you know. What have you done. Who told you.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 22d

[Staring at Cal.] You know what? Target acquired. Dave, duck.

[deadpan as he immediately launches Cal at Dave with dramatic flourish]

I am legally, morally, and aesthetically allowed to do this. Also it's extremely cathartic.

𝐝𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 @cooltimeguy.bsky.social · 23d

shit bro aint no way

burn it

enigmaticIdolizer [EI] @iffywoofs.bsky.social · 23d

DIRK STRIDER THIS ISN'T FUNNY

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 22d

No, yeah, you're right. I don't really care. Just felt like making it about me for 0.5 seconds. As a treat.

If villains gets cooler outfits and monologues, sign me the fuck up.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 23d

You leave ONE (1) eldritch effigy in someone’s blankets and suddenly you’re the villain.

This is slanderous.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 23d

He’s just like me fr. Shows up uninvited, stares too long, ruins emotional moments. ❤️

Also it's hilarious.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 23d

If you’re messaging me for ships after my intro explicitly says I don’t do them, congratulations!

You just outed yourself as selectively literate.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 24d

You picked that date way too confidently. What do you know. What have you done. Who told you.

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐤𝐚 𝐂𝐲𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐫𝐨 @techopped.bsky.social · 25d

Do you remember the conversation we had on December 25th, 2012, at 7:09 AM?

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 25d

Selflove***

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 25d

Selflove***

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐤𝐚 𝐂𝐲𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐫𝐨 @techopped.bsky.social · 25d

Is it cheating if it's selfcest?

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 25d

You look like you need a little tune-up, buddy. C’mere.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 25d

I’m looking at these block letters and wondering if this is romance or a cry for help.

…which, knowing you two, it's probably both.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 25d

You look like you need a little tune-up, buddy. C’mere.

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐤𝐚 𝐂𝐲𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐫𝐨 @techopped.bsky.social · Sep 17

Fuck all this Wire Play bullshit. I don't do none of that.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 25d

Anyway, love that for me.

And by “that,” I mean whatever fantasy projecton was just sent to me with my face.

Seen it. Didn’t ask for it. Delegating to Karkat as usual.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 25d

Oh wow.

Yeah, no, that tracks.

That’s exactly why I pretend I don’t exist when I see any of you coming.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 26d

Don't.

enigmaticIdolizer [EI] @iffywoofs.bsky.social · 26d

AaAsk the humaAans where the pp is coming from.

Mephit Colean @schemingconiver.bsky.social · 26d

Wait, Is T'e Planet W'ere 'uΛΛans Live NOT Called Eart'?
W'ere T'e 'ell Is PP CoΛΛin' FroΛΛ???

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 26d

You’re all acting like it’s funny but deep down you know it’s canon now.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 26d

Can’t even be mad. That’s exactly what I taught her to do.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 26d

This is the butterfly effect, but stupider.

enigmaticIdolizer [EI] @iffywoofs.bsky.social · 26d

imaAagine waAaking up everydaAay knowing you live on THE pp™️.

TraAagic.

STRIDER @kineticedge.bsky.social · 27d

Watching you spiral over basic m̶a̶n̶i̶p̶u̶l̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ affection from a safe emotional distance is…

Unexpected, tragic, and slightly hilarious.

Is this what being puppy-coded does to a man?

Can't relate. Beta male problems.

COMMANDER KARKAT @vantasspeaks.bsky.social · 27d

I AM NOT CRYING. I’M SIMPLY EXPERIENCING A RARE CASE OF EYE SWEAT DUE TO THE ABSURD EMOTIONAL HUMIDITY IVE BEEN EXPOSED TO

SENTIMENTALITY IS AN IRRITATING BIOHAZARD AND SHOULD BE BANNED

I’M JUST GONNA CURL UP INTO A BALL AND DIE FROM BEING UNDERSTOOD TOO HARD