jordan
@jortsillustrated.bsky.social
IT IS NO MEASURE OF HEALTH TO BE WELL ADJUSTED TO A PROFOUNDLY SICK SOCIETY ☢️♒️🆗
your honor my client was fujoshing out
November 30, 2025 at 7:27 AM
your honor my client was fujoshing out
After seeing tiktoks of people squeezing blackheads out of their sphinx cat’s chin pores I lowkey think we should stigmatize owning them.
November 30, 2025 at 3:10 AM
After seeing tiktoks of people squeezing blackheads out of their sphinx cat’s chin pores I lowkey think we should stigmatize owning them.
Finally succumbed to the most effective targeted ad I’ve ever gotten. Hope my friends like their Christmas gifts.
November 26, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Finally succumbed to the most effective targeted ad I’ve ever gotten. Hope my friends like their Christmas gifts.
I don’t think the usps should be allowed to start my daily mail digest with “you have 1 mailpiece arriving soon” if I open that email and it’s just a digital ad.
November 26, 2025 at 1:43 PM
I don’t think the usps should be allowed to start my daily mail digest with “you have 1 mailpiece arriving soon” if I open that email and it’s just a digital ad.
Down horrendous for a boy with long hair and a cunty little earring please put me out of my misery
November 26, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Down horrendous for a boy with long hair and a cunty little earring please put me out of my misery
Pharmacist asked how to spell my last name and I couldn’t remember the phonetic military alphabet so for some reason I decided “G as in Gargoyle” would get my point across
November 26, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Pharmacist asked how to spell my last name and I couldn’t remember the phonetic military alphabet so for some reason I decided “G as in Gargoyle” would get my point across
Concept: angel atop a Christmas tree but its a Neon Genesis Evangelion angel
November 25, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Concept: angel atop a Christmas tree but its a Neon Genesis Evangelion angel
Testing out a new joke for when I see my nieces and nephews over thx giving:
Why was six afraid of seven?
Sick seven (sounds like 6-7)
Why was six afraid of seven?
Sick seven (sounds like 6-7)
November 21, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Testing out a new joke for when I see my nieces and nephews over thx giving:
Why was six afraid of seven?
Sick seven (sounds like 6-7)
Why was six afraid of seven?
Sick seven (sounds like 6-7)
Mighty nein animated series is sooooo good those are my blorbos
November 21, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Mighty nein animated series is sooooo good those are my blorbos
Every time a man on a dating app thinks telling me I look like Hayley Williams is a good opening line I absorb a year of his lifespan into my own
November 16, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Every time a man on a dating app thinks telling me I look like Hayley Williams is a good opening line I absorb a year of his lifespan into my own
Concept: cool rock party where I tell everyone to bring a cool rock and they found (as in scavenged in the wild, you can’t buy a cool rock and regift it) and we debate on which is the coolest rock
November 16, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Concept: cool rock party where I tell everyone to bring a cool rock and they found (as in scavenged in the wild, you can’t buy a cool rock and regift it) and we debate on which is the coolest rock
My family is trying to argue that the cat I see outside belongs to someone and I can’t just take it, which, to me, if you’re letting a cat outside you’re basically saying you’re fine with it getting run over or eaten by other wildlife, so if it disappears to a good home would they even know better?
November 15, 2025 at 12:26 AM
My family is trying to argue that the cat I see outside belongs to someone and I can’t just take it, which, to me, if you’re letting a cat outside you’re basically saying you’re fine with it getting run over or eaten by other wildlife, so if it disappears to a good home would they even know better?
Reposted by jordan
if you're cold they're cold, bring them inside
November 13, 2025 at 8:04 PM
if you're cold they're cold, bring them inside
I caught an arapaima! How did it get here? Arapaiknow!
November 13, 2025 at 4:51 PM
I caught an arapaima! How did it get here? Arapaiknow!
Reposted by jordan
Being in a city with robust public transit is going to make it so hard to go back to my car centric state 😔
November 10, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Being in a city with robust public transit is going to make it so hard to go back to my car centric state 😔
I am once again forcing friends to watch the Waffle House magic marker system training video
November 10, 2025 at 5:36 AM
I am once again forcing friends to watch the Waffle House magic marker system training video
Using a different persons YouTube account on the bnb tv every day to maximize our terror
November 9, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Using a different persons YouTube account on the bnb tv every day to maximize our terror
Reposted by jordan
genuinely this feels like it has the potential to be the first step in something big because unlike a Hope President, which allows people to think "OK I'm done," a distant Hope Mayor is something you see and then want for your own city
November 5, 2025 at 1:02 PM
genuinely this feels like it has the potential to be the first step in something big because unlike a Hope President, which allows people to think "OK I'm done," a distant Hope Mayor is something you see and then want for your own city
Live every week like it’s gar week
November 4, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Live every week like it’s gar week
Cat violating my desire for personal space
November 4, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Cat violating my desire for personal space
The last several trips I’ve been on were with A Man ™ where I planned everything and he just wanted to stay in the room gaming. I’m about to travel with a project manager lesbian virgo and you better believe she has made us multiple lists of activities and bars to pick from. Life is beautiful again
November 3, 2025 at 7:42 PM
The last several trips I’ve been on were with A Man ™ where I planned everything and he just wanted to stay in the room gaming. I’m about to travel with a project manager lesbian virgo and you better believe she has made us multiple lists of activities and bars to pick from. Life is beautiful again
Have been getting some weird YouTube recommendations lately but this is pretty wild
November 2, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Have been getting some weird YouTube recommendations lately but this is pretty wild
If I come over to your house I do expect to spend 30-45 minutes on the ground gaining the trust of your cats while you explain their personalities to me and I’m not joking
November 2, 2025 at 6:09 PM
If I come over to your house I do expect to spend 30-45 minutes on the ground gaining the trust of your cats while you explain their personalities to me and I’m not joking
Realized I bought the wrong brand of plug in air freshener refill and it wouldn’t fit in the diffuser- one pair of pliers later I now know it is very easy to just pop off the lid and transfer the new oil into the old pod. Take that, air wick
October 29, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Realized I bought the wrong brand of plug in air freshener refill and it wouldn’t fit in the diffuser- one pair of pliers later I now know it is very easy to just pop off the lid and transfer the new oil into the old pod. Take that, air wick