John Paul Stadler
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johnpaulstadler.bsky.social
John Paul Stadler
@johnpaulstadler.bsky.social
Area pervert and pie taster; gay; film and media scholar —> mostly queer and porn-centric research. Opinions are mine and mine alone.
Pinned
Eight years ago my friends surprised me by baking a waterpizzamelon, after I had spent the better portion of the year incessantly tweeting about my love for this abomination. Never question my commitment to the bit. #filthiestpersonalive #waterpizzamelon
This salted maple cream is no joke, y’all. A dollop’ll do ya.
November 28, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Olive oil pumpkin cake, soon to be topped with salted maple cream.
November 27, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Made an apple pie.
November 27, 2025 at 4:40 PM
The Goon King
Goon a movie

The Goondock Saints
Goon Girl
November 26, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Both inside and outside the house, we’re cultivating magic.
November 26, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Welp—I did it. I publicly shamed a trio of Gen Z kids for loudly playing audio on their phones at the coffee shop, asking them if they had spatial awareness. I think I’m officially very old and very cranky.
November 25, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Still find it wild that my YMCA has a 9/11 Memorial “StairMaster Challenge” that they advertise every September.
November 17, 2025 at 1:57 AM
So the pope has some inspiring words on cinema, yes. But he (or his speech writers) also quotes D.W. Griffith without any recognition of the racist caricatures he helped proliferate. So all told, a very on point Catholic response: some progressivism mixed with some inadvertent racist acquiescence.
Pope Leo XIV Talks Movies To A-List Crowd At Vatican: Read His Speech
Pope Leo XIV Talks Movies To A-List Crowd At Vatican: Read His Speech
deadline.com
November 15, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Yesterday I was publicly shamed at the gay bar when a friend asked me what I thought a Stanley cup was and in all seriousness answered “Isn’t that a hockey thing?” The look of horror on his face and accusation of being a bro were priceless.
November 15, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Reposted by John Paul Stadler
The Republican president is a pedophile who has doubled my healthcare costs and let scores of violent criminals out of jail. But a Democratic mayor-elect wants to make busses free in a city I don't live in. I have never felt more politically homeless.
November 13, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Nothing could make me less likely to want to shop at a store than store-mandated faux optimism, friendliness, smiling/staring/asking how my day is going. Y’all need to learn how to be human. This is not the way.
"Store employees are now required to smile if they are within 10 feet of a shopper.

They also must make eye contact with and wave to or greet the customer.

If they’re within four feet, the employee should ask how the customer’s day is going or if they need help."

🙄 Won't stop the boycott, y'all.
Target is now requiring its employees to smile more
As the holiday season fast approaches, Target is urging its employees to add a little more “jolly” to their work routine.
www.wilx.com
November 8, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Reposted by John Paul Stadler
I feel like we have the opportunity to turn David Lynch's quote into this moment's "Keep Calm and Carry On" and it's a far better rallying cry too.
November 7, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Real?
There's a very real possibility the incoming NYC mayor has seen your nudes
This labeller never misses
November 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Reposted by John Paul Stadler
All day, many of you have been asking for a Cheney obituary from me. Get ready:
His Works Completed, Dick Cheney, Mass Murderer of Iraqis and American Democracy, Dies
As much as the Trumpists claim to disavow the War on Terror, they walk a path paved by the most powerful vice president in U.S. history.
www.thenation.com
November 4, 2025 at 5:55 PM
It is right to remember people as they were, for their deeds, and in the case of politicians for what they did and made possible, and not sugarcoat or produce milquetoast revisionist hagiographies. This man was vile and America is worse off because he existed.
November 4, 2025 at 6:05 PM
One of my strongest compulsions is the desire to get stickers fully off of products I buy, and this irrational need has resulted most recently in me accidentally stabbing my thumb with a razor.
November 3, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Will I ever be able to grade essays quickly? Survey says…
November 2, 2025 at 9:09 PM
“If every disappointment, criticism, wrongdoing, or trauma is treated as a sacrifice that one must give up to God, how is introspection, change, or personal responsibility even possible?” My therapist is going to love me this week.
November 2, 2025 at 8:35 PM
The punishments will continue until morale improves!
November 2, 2025 at 8:12 PM
I remember when the idea of a “dark room” at a club used to mean something.
November 2, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Frantically patting myself down looking for my car keys that were in one of my two hands frantically patting myself down looking for my car keys.
November 2, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Bizarro Bucket Boy was a success: I wore buckets and held singlets. This made sense to my friends, and that’s all that matters! Have fun, be weird.
November 2, 2025 at 2:12 AM
It’s a beautiful day out there!
November 1, 2025 at 9:42 PM
My favorite coffee shop in Durham is super dog friendly and today all of the dogs are in costumes because they’re doing a free Halloween pet photo shoot. I am in heaven.
November 1, 2025 at 5:21 PM
It just doesn't feel like Halloween if I am not frantically finishing up my costume and also bleeding all over my costume because I accidentally took a razor to my thumb!
October 31, 2025 at 11:39 PM