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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 2h

Finally climbed into bed where my partner is already snoring just for them to rip one the moment I lifted the covers.

a man is sitting at a desk in front of a window with a bird in a glass case .

ALT: a man is sitting at a desk in front of a window with a bird in a glass case .

media.tenor.com

Reposted by JessnotJessie

𝓵𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓫𝓸𝓶𝓫𝓼🩸 @lemonbombs.bsky.social · Jul 6

Shown once on SNL in 1998 and promptly banned, so it is our duty to spread it everywhere. Ban this🖕mofo!
“its a mediaopoly” youtu.be/nh6Hf5_ZYPI?... via @YouTube #banned #SNL

its a mediaopoly

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use. this video is for educational purposes only

youtu.be

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 5h

Managed to make it through the day with minimal wallowing but the kids went to bed so I then had a free moment to think which just wouldn't do, so I am now at the laundromat where it's took loud to think at all.

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 12h

I just found out that my Poppy (grandad) has Alzheimers. He basically made my childhood, but I haven't seen him in nearly 4 years. I've never been able to afford to go to the reunions or travel to see him. Honestly not sure how I feel at the moment, I'm just a bit numb.

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 1d

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 1d

Driving with my mom is terrifying and sometimes entertaining. A frequent phrase she uses when ppl honk is "horn blows what about the driver" and when ppl pause too long "THE SIGN SAYS STOP, NOT GIVE UP!"

She hasn't killed me yet though.

JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 2d

I can barely make ends meet but all of the Hobbits are going to be in Dallas for Fan Expo and I could literally weep. I'd need like $800 to get the autographs and photos and everything. 😭😭😭😭

gollum from the lord of the rings says sneaky little hobbitses .

ALT: gollum from the lord of the rings says sneaky little hobbitses .

media.tenor.com

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Reposted by JessnotJessie

Holly Anderson 🍇 @hollyanderson.bsky.social · 3d

you fucked around and now the Episcopalians are doing memes. are you happy now. are you

Screenshot of a Facebook post featuring three of the Portland protesters wearing inflatable frog costumes with the following text:

Episcopalians on Facebook
Elizabeth Rose Elrod • 22h •
Exodus 8:2-6
"But if you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with frogs...
The frogs shall come up on you and on your people and on all your officials."

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 2d

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Reposted by JessnotJessie

Rum 🔞🫟 Commune Whore @rumrumaart.bsky.social · Apr 7

Taps the sign

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 3d

How wrong? Like eating a chili dog from the middle wrong or like eating a cupcake icing side down? Both are incorrect, but there are levels...

JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 3d

9: I hate apples, and apple juice.

ME: I know, you always have.

9: Like, why would you want to eat something that feels like spikes in your mouth and burns? It's awful.

Me:....

9: Food shouldn't give you blisters in the back of your mouth.

Me: Oh god...

a group of cartoon dogs are standing next to each other and one of them has sunglasses on his head

ALT: a group of cartoon dogs are standing next to each other and one of them has sunglasses on his head

media.tenor.com

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 4d

My noise canceling headphones broke about a month ago and it's been rough, but I thought I was getting used to it except I can hear my neighbors kids dropping marbles on the tile floor repeatedly plus all the hums of lights/appliances & I may actually explode.

a woman says " so i 'm right on the verge of a nervous breakdown . "

ALT: a woman says " so i 'm right on the verge of a nervous breakdown . "

media.tenor.com

JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 4d

My kids are watching Tremors for educational purposes. No, really, we're studying plot lines and when we're done they have to label the exposition, rising action, climax, and falling action.

But isn't it a flimsy excuse to watch "horror" movies on no screen days?

What are you, a cop?

a man with long hair is smiling with the words " you got that right " below him

ALT: a man with long hair is smiling with the words " you got that right " below him

media.tenor.com

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 6d

It just sort of hit me as I submitted my latest Algebra assignment that I'll be the 1st person in my immediate family to graduate from college. It's only my associates for now, but by the end of November, I'll be done. I actually did it. Holy shit.

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 7d

Just got home from Oktoberfest. My eldest Heaten came in 3rd in the Pretzel eating contest, and all 3 of mine plus my nephew made it through the Stein contest. Middlest technically didn't as his arm was bent and started shaking with about 1 min to go but they gave him a prize anyway.

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 8d

Went to the thrift store and I fear something tragic has happened to someone's Autistic Grandad. 💀

Reposted by JessnotJessie

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 9d

Man I can’t process any of this bullshit and now you want me to wear pants?

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 9d

I did my laps in like 50 minutes! FUCK YOU DEGENERATIVE DISCS AND FLATTENED VERTEBRAE!!! YOU CANNOT STOP ME!

elmo is surrounded by flames and the word victory is written above him

ALT: elmo is surrounded by flames and the word victory is written above him

media.tenor.com

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 10d

How tf did I just chug a bottle of water only to end up with my mouth somehow MORE dry?

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 10d

So happy for you! Ive been searching for either of them for forever

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 10d

Excellent find!

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 10d

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JessnotJessie @jessnotjessie90.bsky.social · 10d

"Mommy, if a human gets hit by a car do they have to die but flop around still because of their brain going crazy? Ya know, like a chicken?"

Was NOT a conversation I was expecting from my 8 yo this morning. MONTHS ago she saw a lady hit a chicken in the road & apparently it stuck.

a close up of a man 's face with the words dr.doctor.tumblr visible in the corner

ALT: a close up of a man 's face with the words dr.doctor.tumblr visible in the corner

media.tenor.com

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