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That's Tron. He fights for the User.
I'd love a plushie of my character, but I was thinking more like Sean's cashapp
February 11, 2026 at 4:25 PM
How can I give you more money, aside from buying the game for a friend?
February 11, 2026 at 2:53 PM
My kid's gonna need a reliable set of wheels of his own pretty soon...
February 9, 2026 at 6:57 PM
Only if there's also live demons on stage.
February 9, 2026 at 6:32 PM
Glad to see David Byrne's suit from Stop Making Sense is still getting work.
February 9, 2026 at 3:28 PM
My dude. You have the phone in your hand. You are actively texting someone who immediately texts you back. Can you please turn down the "annoying wind chimes" notifications?
February 5, 2026 at 8:53 PM
Travel booking sites need an option to sort flights by connections through airports with nap pods.
February 5, 2026 at 6:46 PM
Bring any modern device to the beach, and you will quickly discover a: the iron content of local sand and b: the number of hidden magnets embedded in practically everything
February 5, 2026 at 1:41 PM
And already, this thread is longer than the original sketch.
February 3, 2026 at 3:44 PM
I don't know who needs to hear this, but "whiskey stones" work just as well to keep a mug of hot cocoa (or coffee) warm as they do keeping your libations cold. Thermal density works both ways.
February 1, 2026 at 10:02 PM
Please tell me that somewhere there's an astronomy paper that defines a "Kessel Run" unit as 12 parsecs, or roughly 2.176 × 10^17 smoots.
February 1, 2026 at 3:23 AM
The world is a shitshow and rapidly going downhill. If the best you can do is maintain your current level of depression and anxiety, I'd consider that making progress.
January 31, 2026 at 5:56 PM
Or "Will Will Smith smith Will Smith, smith?" or something like that. I lost track after the second buffalo.
January 30, 2026 at 6:06 PM
I told my kids about "Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" and apparently the Gen Alpha equivalent is "Will Smith will smith Will Smith"
January 30, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Serious question: if a non-police officer is walking around in a tactical vest that has POLICE in big bold letters on it, are they "impersonating a police officer"?

Because DHS, CBP, ICE are *not* police, right?
January 28, 2026 at 6:06 PM
I really don't like to be rude on the phone, but this week is really not the week to call me fundraising for law enforcement charities.

Who am I kidding? I do enjoy being rude to some people on the phone.
January 27, 2026 at 10:55 PM
Oh shit. He's going after Antarctica next.
January 26, 2026 at 2:52 AM
The real golems were the friends I made along the way.
January 24, 2026 at 5:54 PM
This is the generational knowledge inherited from Finns, Swedes, and Cornish miners. I hope there's some good pasty lore being passed around, too.
January 23, 2026 at 5:20 PM
How much antifreeze do I put in my super soaker tank to keep it from freezing up while I stalk the gestapo in below zero temps?
January 23, 2026 at 5:18 PM
Remember when they were putting kids in cages at the southern border? Have you forgotten about them? I kinda wonder if ICE and border patrol forgot about them, too... Maybe someone should check up on the MIGRANT KIDS IN CAGES
January 23, 2026 at 5:16 PM
Saving this for when my kids start dating
January 22, 2026 at 2:53 PM
Feels like the last year has been more than 80%, to be honest.
January 22, 2026 at 12:24 PM
It shouldn't be necessary to flood the phones and inboxes of our elected representatives to urge them to DO THE RIGHT FUCKING THING or to BE A GOOD PERSON but here we are.
January 22, 2026 at 2:03 AM
The AI bubble must never burst until the sky burns and the streets of the wasteland run with radioactive sludge. Only by ramping up the ecological destruction can we reach the goal in our lifetime: the last handful of human survivors huddling in underground bunkers, run by billionaire elites.
January 22, 2026 at 1:57 AM