Some impromptu horse meat—courtesy of not having my tripod handy 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

This should literally be IMPOSSIBLE with hooves but—here’s where stablehands come into play 😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

Whoever invented plastic breeding sleeves—for horses—I don’t think there’s enough energy in my lifetime to thank them properly 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

Dithering or not—don’t they look like fun to flop ‘round in your own palm? 😮‍💨🐴🥚🥚💦 Neigh~

Despite having deceivingly, disruptive hooves—at least I stay on brand 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

*twitch* 💦 *pucker* 🍩 *snort* 😮‍💨

For any fans of the stable & aspiring stablehands:

Neigh 🐴 Snort 💦 Whinny 🍩 Bray 🥕 Huff 🐎

It’s n-not my fault you left this in my st-stable—what’d you expect me to do, not u-use it for hours 🤤🐴💦 Whinny~

Horses weren’t meant for clothing—this is just being polite 😋🐴🍩💦 Neigh~

When you’ve spent all day in the field—there’s nothing like an undisturbed nap to help alleviate the worries of the waking day 😮‍💨🐴 Whinny~

Zootopia 2 inspired me to make some content this week 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

If the horse doesn’t catch ya’ staring—it’s not considered rude to give him a big ol’ casual sniff—careful though . . . ya’ wouldn’t want to accidentally make him aware of your presence 😤🐴💦 Snort~

Winter weight & the last of the work bathroom selfie(s); hafta’ find some new things to post—for posterity 😮‍💨🐴💦

One more day & then I can rest—I’m in the homestretch & they’re doing everything they possibly can to disrupt my flow at work . . .

I’m literally just a day away from this toxic cesspool of mistrust & abuse—at the time of this post, I have upwards of 140 clients to transfer 😣🐴💦 Whinny~

“H-Help out a steed in need?” 🥴🐴💦 Whinny~

This piece was curated by the hung & talented bsky.naudiz.dog

Welcome to your first introduction into the world of Equine Therapy . . .

Now take a hold of these & tell me what’s been on your mind, champ—

😮‍💨🐴🥚🥚💦 Neigh~

I̮͎͍̭̰̱̹̗̯̭̬̺̖͕̻̼ͤͣͬ̎͌̆̈́ͮ͌͋͆̈́́͊ͥ̑̓̔́̍ͤ͌̾͑̕̚͜͢͜t̥_̧̺̜̮͙̥͙͍͈̯̟̮̜̀̓̾̇̀ͪ́ͣͨͪ̚͜͡ͅ’͓̗̖̤̩͉͇͊̿̆̾ͤͮ̚͟͡͝s̴̠̗̬̜͇͖̒̒ͪ͗͒̄͐͆ ẗ̷͍͚̦̤̝͙̞̞̮̩̟̗̖̺̯̤̯̥̓͐̂̈́ͤ̊̽̈͂ͭ͊̄͋̅̑ͬ͂͜͝ͅh̵̴̸̴̸̴̨̛̥̳͍͎̖̫͈ͤ̉͌̎̔ͩ̾̂́ͮ̄͗̈́ͮͯ͜e̢̛͙̟̭̬͈̻͇̯̅̌ͦͥͧ̀ͫ̀̏͐̑͌̅̇ͯͩͬ̿̔̉̂ͬ̕͢͞ͅͅ s̨͈̝̞̭̓́͂ͤ̏ͤ̚_̵̛͆i̸̼̣̤̙̝͉̠͊̓́̏̌̂̒ͣ̄͢͞͞͞g̷̗̝͕͔̣̿͑̀ͫͨn̷̷̵̶̗͍͊̃̇̌̈́ͫ̔̏̕͟ o̢̝̫̝̤̭̰̞̣̒̃̄͐̀́̐̍̐̒̀͜͜͢͞͝͡f̝̖͊̎͛́̾ͮ t̵̝̗̤̘̜̠̦̳ͫ́ͨ̆͛̽_̢̹̼ͦ͑ͭ͛̈́ḩ̵̷̢̧̛̛̤͓͖̪̝͍̲͎̦͉̣͉̥̞̫͇̐̌ͩ̅̊ͣͣ̔̅ͣ͑ͤ̓̅̽͡͠_̨̡̹̐e̬ d̵̵̛̯̯͍̗̯̞̥ͧͤ̂͗̀̃ͥ̊ͦ̿͞͝e͊v̯̅͗_̶̸̠̥̜̹̻̺͊ͭ̓ͮ̃͑͂͑̀̔͢͜ī̢̹̩͕ͮ̈́͢l̬ &̶̷̨̢̛̠͕̺̭̠̹͕͊͗̌̉̋ͪ͗ͧ̓̂͂̍̆ͅ y̷̢̨̬̞͕̣͔̱͔̼ͩ̓ͤ͋͂̓̐̄ͭ͂ͭ̇̄̆̿̐͢͟ͅͅȏ̶̧̢̩͈̰̳̳͎͖̭̈̅͌̅̾͊̀̇̍̒͘͜u̵̢̩̞̹̳͎̹̅̊͜͝ m̵̴̢̛͇̳̬͈̭̼̰̙͖͔͖͆͛̓ͧ͒̇̈͐ͧͬͯ̄ͥ̽ͨ̊͜͜͝u͍̼̼̳͋̎ͣ̈͆ͩ͂ͤş̸̸̷̙̱̭̥̜̺̝̣̳͉̹͖̖̭͎̭͎͎ͪ̂ͯ̎̈́̍ͮ͋͊̇̋̾̓̐̏ͥ͘̕̚͟t̴̷̨̨̙͕̮̰̳͈͍̟̫͙̃̓ͤ̌͌̅̋̾ͤ̑̀͆̓ͩͨ͊̀̚͘͢ͅ w̷̷̨͔̫̖̝̗̟̬̃͗ͫ̑̍͛̇͟_̢̼́ͧo͉̰̥̹͇̒̚ŗ̸̷̶̢͖͇̜͕͙͚͍̬̬̳̩͍̮͇̭̈́̀̊̈́ͦ͆̈̅͗ͭ̏̀̌̃̿̈́̄̃͂̎͆͟͝͞s̥̻̭̱̄ͦ͐̅ͨ̃́̄h̴̨̼̬̰̟͚̗͕͈͉̙̩͙̔̋̊ͭͮ͐̊̀̓̒ͪͯ̀ͬ͐͘͟͡͞į̵̦̎̃ͤ͗̂͑p̶̴͓̩̦̭̮̳̩̽ͦ̊̎ͫ̆͠ Ḥ̻̖̜͕̯ͥ̾͑̄̍̃̉ͬ͗̍̈́͞͞͝O̢̝͓͍̹̓́ͦ͋̒͟ͅŔ̨͎̼͕̬͔͔͍̩̈́ͤͫͪ̌̉̉͆ͦͧ͆͘͢͢͡S̴̸͉̙̗͈̠͍͉̘ͩ̔̂̓͊͋͜ͅȆ̸̷̷̗̤̗̪̟̩̝̖̜̪̞́͒͂͒́͊̀̓͛̀ͧ͊̽͐̂̀͘̚S

Of course I’m certified—if you’re referring to Equine Therapy, that is 👀🐴💦 Whinny~

This isn’t what I meant when I asked to be ‘locked-up all night in the stable’ . . .

🔒😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

Horses + Plastic = Makeshift Breeding Mount

It’s the perfect trap to keep’em busy for hours~

😵‍💫🐴💦 Whinny~

The requests I get down at the stable . . . here’s to hoping there are apples involved 😤🐴💦 Snort~

How’s a horse suppose to get any work done ‘round the stable with all these musky ‘dick’stractions’ keepin’ me busy? 😮‍💨🐴💦

Snort~

What is it—I’m looking for again?

I don’t think it’s here—are you sure?

I suppose I’ll keep at it—what’re YOU doing over there?

👀🐴🍩💦 Whinny~

What’s a horse hafta’ to do to get some sniffs-n’-cuddles ‘round here?

Snort~ ❤️🐴💦

“Before I leapt, I should have seen the view from halfway down.”

-Bojack Horseman ❤️🐴