A story in 3-parts—I had no inspiration for this post other than enjoying what I had between my own fuzzed thighs 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

Most farm-goers tend to get straight to work upon entering the stables—as you can imagine, the scent is far more alluring than the sounds alone & are a universal sign of ‘attention-seeking’ behavior 🥴🐴🥚🥚💦 Snort~

I’d offer more if I could—this is all that would fit through the stable fencing 😮‍💨🐴🥚🥚💦 Whinny~

Some impromptu horse meat—courtesy of not having my tripod handy 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

This should literally be IMPOSSIBLE with hooves but—here’s where stablehands come into play 😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

Whoever invented plastic breeding sleeves—for horses—I don’t think there’s enough energy in my lifetime to thank them properly 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

Dithering or not—don’t they look like fun to flop ‘round in your own palm? 😮‍💨🐴🥚🥚💦 Neigh~

Despite having deceivingly, disruptive hooves—at least I stay on brand 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

L-look at me in the eyes while you watch—I know w-why you wandered into my stable in the f-first place—are you g-getting dickstracted 🥴🐴💦 Snort~

It’s n-not my fault you left this in my st-stable—what’d you expect me to do, not u-use it for hours 🤤🐴💦 Whinny~

If ya’ ever find a reason to be stressed, just lean back & breath; it’ll do wonders when you just accept that you’re a thoughtless, productive breeder 😤😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

Horses weren’t meant for clothing—this is just being polite 😋🐴🍩💦 Neigh~

It takes a second to get comfy—don’t move yet I haven’t gotten back up! 😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

When you’ve spent all day in the field—there’s nothing like an undisturbed nap to help alleviate the worries of the waking day 😮‍💨🐴 Whinny~

If the horse doesn’t catch ya’ staring—it’s not considered rude to give him a big ol’ casual sniff—careful though . . . ya’ wouldn’t want to accidentally make him aware of your presence 😤🐴💦 Snort~

Winter weight & the last of the work bathroom selfie(s); hafta’ find some new things to post—for posterity 😮‍💨🐴💦

“H-Help out a steed in need?” 🥴🐴💦 Whinny~

This piece was curated by the hung & talented bsky.naudiz.dog

Did—you say you saw something?

Hmm?

🤔🐴💦 Whinny~

Welcome to your first introduction into the world of Equine Therapy . . .

Now take a hold of these & tell me what’s been on your mind, champ—

😮‍💨🐴🥚🥚💦 Neigh~

I̮͎͍̭̰̱̹̗̯̭̬̺̖͕̻̼ͤͣͬ̎͌̆̈́ͮ͌͋͆̈́́͊ͥ̑̓̔́̍ͤ͌̾͑̕̚͜͢͜t̥_̧̺̜̮͙̥͙͍͈̯̟̮̜̀̓̾̇̀ͪ́ͣͨͪ̚͜͡ͅ’͓̗̖̤̩͉͇͊̿̆̾ͤͮ̚͟͡͝s̴̠̗̬̜͇͖̒̒ͪ͗͒̄͐͆ ẗ̷͍͚̦̤̝͙̞̞̮̩̟̗̖̺̯̤̯̥̓͐̂̈́ͤ̊̽̈͂ͭ͊̄͋̅̑ͬ͂͜͝ͅh̵̴̸̴̸̴̨̛̥̳͍͎̖̫͈ͤ̉͌̎̔ͩ̾̂́ͮ̄͗̈́ͮͯ͜e̢̛͙̟̭̬͈̻͇̯̅̌ͦͥͧ̀ͫ̀̏͐̑͌̅̇ͯͩͬ̿̔̉̂ͬ̕͢͞ͅͅ s̨͈̝̞̭̓́͂ͤ̏ͤ̚_̵̛͆i̸̼̣̤̙̝͉̠͊̓́̏̌̂̒ͣ̄͢͞͞͞g̷̗̝͕͔̣̿͑̀ͫͨn̷̷̵̶̗͍͊̃̇̌̈́ͫ̔̏̕͟ o̢̝̫̝̤̭̰̞̣̒̃̄͐̀́̐̍̐̒̀͜͜͢͞͝͡f̝̖͊̎͛́̾ͮ t̵̝̗̤̘̜̠̦̳ͫ́ͨ̆͛̽_̢̹̼ͦ͑ͭ͛̈́ḩ̵̷̢̧̛̛̤͓͖̪̝͍̲͎̦͉̣͉̥̞̫͇̐̌ͩ̅̊ͣͣ̔̅ͣ͑ͤ̓̅̽͡͠_̨̡̹̐e̬ d̵̵̛̯̯͍̗̯̞̥ͧͤ̂͗̀̃ͥ̊ͦ̿͞͝e͊v̯̅͗_̶̸̠̥̜̹̻̺͊ͭ̓ͮ̃͑͂͑̀̔͢͜ī̢̹̩͕ͮ̈́͢l̬ &̶̷̨̢̛̠͕̺̭̠̹͕͊͗̌̉̋ͪ͗ͧ̓̂͂̍̆ͅ y̷̢̨̬̞͕̣͔̱͔̼ͩ̓ͤ͋͂̓̐̄ͭ͂ͭ̇̄̆̿̐͢͟ͅͅȏ̶̧̢̩͈̰̳̳͎͖̭̈̅͌̅̾͊̀̇̍̒͘͜u̵̢̩̞̹̳͎̹̅̊͜͝ m̵̴̢̛͇̳̬͈̭̼̰̙͖͔͖͆͛̓ͧ͒̇̈͐ͧͬͯ̄ͥ̽ͨ̊͜͜͝u͍̼̼̳͋̎ͣ̈͆ͩ͂ͤş̸̸̷̙̱̭̥̜̺̝̣̳͉̹͖̖̭͎̭͎͎ͪ̂ͯ̎̈́̍ͮ͋͊̇̋̾̓̐̏ͥ͘̕̚͟t̴̷̨̨̙͕̮̰̳͈͍̟̫͙̃̓ͤ̌͌̅̋̾ͤ̑̀͆̓ͩͨ͊̀̚͘͢ͅ w̷̷̨͔̫̖̝̗̟̬̃͗ͫ̑̍͛̇͟_̢̼́ͧo͉̰̥̹͇̒̚ŗ̸̷̶̢͖͇̜͕͙͚͍̬̬̳̩͍̮͇̭̈́̀̊̈́ͦ͆̈̅͗ͭ̏̀̌̃̿̈́̄̃͂̎͆͟͝͞s̥̻̭̱̄ͦ͐̅ͨ̃́̄h̴̨̼̬̰̟͚̗͕͈͉̙̩͙̔̋̊ͭͮ͐̊̀̓̒ͪͯ̀ͬ͐͘͟͡͞į̵̦̎̃ͤ͗̂͑p̶̴͓̩̦̭̮̳̩̽ͦ̊̎ͫ̆͠ Ḥ̻̖̜͕̯ͥ̾͑̄̍̃̉ͬ͗̍̈́͞͞͝O̢̝͓͍̹̓́ͦ͋̒͟ͅŔ̨͎̼͕̬͔͔͍̩̈́ͤͫͪ̌̉̉͆ͦͧ͆͘͢͢͡S̴̸͉̙̗͈̠͍͉̘ͩ̔̂̓͊͋͜ͅȆ̸̷̷̗̤̗̪̟̩̝̖̜̪̞́͒͂͒́͊̀̓͛̀ͧ͊̽͐̂̀͘̚S

An oldie but a goldie . . .

😋🐴💦 Whinny~

Of course I’m certified—if you’re referring to Equine Therapy, that is 👀🐴💦 Whinny~

This isn’t what I meant when I asked to be ‘locked-up all night in the stable’ . . .

🔒😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

Horses + Plastic = Makeshift Breeding Mount

It’s the perfect trap to keep’em busy for hours~

😵‍💫🐴💦 Whinny~

The requests I get down at the stable . . . here’s to hoping there are apples involved 😤🐴💦 Snort~