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Headlines McMuffin

@headlinesmc.bsky.social

3.2K followers 2.7K following 2.6K posts

Satire. Today’s headlines and opinion with a 1940’s tabloid look. Road to 3,187 followers. Pritzker for president? 🇺🇦

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 2d

Inspector Clouseau: “A bimp.” “A what?” “A bimp.”

Banner news headline - Marjorie Taylor Greene bumps her head and undergoes an instant conversion, blaming the GOP for the government shutdown. An analyst describes her as “neutral, like Helen Crump.”

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 55m

Our bartender is also our airline pilot. A toast to you and prepare for takeoff 😇

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1h

Secret Agent Donald Trump, Agent 86.

Banner news headline - the CIA, it’s cover blown already, reminds Trump that they asked he not mention their upcoming secret mission.

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 9h

Ohh that was way back in 2025 🤔

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 12h

Wow it was a slap in the face to George and must have made the Singapore win extra special. I have the F1 app where I watch the race weekends. But they don’t focus on the drama - prob at F1’s demand.

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 13h

Did Mercedes really go after Max? That wasn’t publicized (for obvious reasons).

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 13h

F1 seat assignments are a mystery. Why would you not sign George Russell? Why on earth did Ferrari release Carlos Sainz for an aging Hamilton?

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 13h

If Sean Duffy can run NASA and the FAA, then Trump can run the US and Israel.

Banner news headline - Trump is the first president to run two countries, running the US as well as Israel, ready to tell them when to fight.

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 13h

This is like the biggest news of the day. How I have wished that the European Union would do the same for Steve Bannon.

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 14h

Great piece, Aaron.

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 15h

Yes we would ☹️

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 15h

But doesn’t congress…never mind 😵‍💫

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 15h

Photograph or painting? 👀

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 18h

Well, he’s taken over the government.

Banner news headline - Trump is serving as president, congressman, and senator all rolled into one. He picks and chooses funds from the treasury and Republicans are doing nothing to stop him.

Reposted by Headlines McMuffin

Alt National Park Service @altnps.bsky.social · 1d

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 21h

So Trump is using wind energy to dry his clothes 🤔

Banner news headline - With ICE deporting immigrants who did the president’s laundry, the White House is reduced to drying Trump’s clothes on a clothesline behind the White House.

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Lord, even the coal industry knows the game is up.

Banner news headline - the Energy Department strangles a near-completed Nevada solar project by ordering the solar panels moved indoors.

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

The last politician to make that prediction was…a Republican.

Banner news headline - Trump expects to personally disarm Hamas and predicts, in a now famous line, “We’ll be greeted like liberators”

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

“Just help yourself to what’s on the table” 😂

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

His hair is de-blonded - he turned gray!

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Love your avi 😂

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Thanks for the like, @3dogz.bsky.social. A Pulitzer Prize nomination for you 💜

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Ok, we haven’t been asked to sign the Defense Department’s new press policy, but feel we are mere followers from respectability.

Newspaper editorial - this newspaper will join other major newspapers and refuse to sign the Defense Department’s new press policy.

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

**Yawn**

Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

Like taking a small claims case to the Supreme Court.

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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 1d

We’re having a ball with your ballroom.