GOP Jesus
@gopjesus.bsky.social
A parody account for the GOP’s interpretation of Jesus’s will and teachings. Half parody, half commentary, half theories. https://linktr.ee/gopjesus
Pinned
GOP Jesus
@gopjesus.bsky.social
· Mar 25
Whoa! Did anyone else get this invitation from the White House?
Did you know that there were absolutely no crimes committed in Washington DC on Jan 6, 2020?
Amazing but true!
Amazing but true!
December 6, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Did you know that there were absolutely no crimes committed in Washington DC on Jan 6, 2020?
Amazing but true!
Amazing but true!
THANK YOU, PRESIDENT TRUMP! You are the absolute best at everything you do and this is another FABULOUS example.
You make the GREATEST and most TREMENDOUS pipe bombers America has ever seen. This one was SO INCREDIBLE, he evaded capture for almost SIX YEARS!
Praised be!
You make the GREATEST and most TREMENDOUS pipe bombers America has ever seen. This one was SO INCREDIBLE, he evaded capture for almost SIX YEARS!
Praised be!
December 5, 2025 at 2:54 PM
THANK YOU, PRESIDENT TRUMP! You are the absolute best at everything you do and this is another FABULOUS example.
You make the GREATEST and most TREMENDOUS pipe bombers America has ever seen. This one was SO INCREDIBLE, he evaded capture for almost SIX YEARS!
Praised be!
You make the GREATEST and most TREMENDOUS pipe bombers America has ever seen. This one was SO INCREDIBLE, he evaded capture for almost SIX YEARS!
Praised be!
Reposted by GOP Jesus
Trump’s War on Woke.
December 5, 2025 at 5:27 AM
Trump’s War on Woke.
Weird, it’s almost like MAGAs are all pedos.
December 5, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Weird, it’s almost like MAGAs are all pedos.
MAGA can’t win without cheating and rigging elections. Supreme Court lets Texas use gerrymandered U.S. House map
www.npr.org/2025/12/04/n...
www.npr.org/2025/12/04/n...
Supreme Court lets Texas use gerrymandered map that could give GOP 5 more House seats
The Supreme Court has cleared the way for a Texas congressional map that may help the GOP win five more U.S. House seats in the 2026 midterms. A lower court found the map is likely unconstitutional.
www.npr.org
December 4, 2025 at 11:52 PM
MAGA can’t win without cheating and rigging elections. Supreme Court lets Texas use gerrymandered U.S. House map
www.npr.org/2025/12/04/n...
www.npr.org/2025/12/04/n...
UPDATE: We have since learned that Stephen Miller asked to create an ad for DOJ. Apparently he told Pam over breakfast he “has some really great ideas for America.”
Whoa, the latest DOJ recruitment poster for Immigration Court doesn’t pull any punches!
December 4, 2025 at 2:50 PM
UPDATE: We have since learned that Stephen Miller asked to create an ad for DOJ. Apparently he told Pam over breakfast he “has some really great ideas for America.”
Whoa, the latest DOJ recruitment poster for Immigration Court doesn’t pull any punches!
December 4, 2025 at 9:39 AM
Whoa, the latest DOJ recruitment poster for Immigration Court doesn’t pull any punches!
NEW: President Trump named another building after himself today. Like with most of his iconic properties, this one was also stolen from its rightful owners after the independent (ie, not part of federal government) U.S. Institute for Peace was swatted with armed police and then gutted by DOGE.
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December 4, 2025 at 2:38 AM
NEW: President Trump named another building after himself today. Like with most of his iconic properties, this one was also stolen from its rightful owners after the independent (ie, not part of federal government) U.S. Institute for Peace was swatted with armed police and then gutted by DOGE.
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IT’S WAR: President Trump to Declare War on Southern America As Soon As Tomorrow!
“He’s decided,” said SecWar Pete Hegseth. “We had a VIP meeting on Telegram during dinner two nights ago in the War-a-Lago Saturation Room.
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“He’s decided,” said SecWar Pete Hegseth. “We had a VIP meeting on Telegram during dinner two nights ago in the War-a-Lago Saturation Room.
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December 2, 2025 at 8:42 AM
IT’S WAR: President Trump to Declare War on Southern America As Soon As Tomorrow!
“He’s decided,” said SecWar Pete Hegseth. “We had a VIP meeting on Telegram during dinner two nights ago in the War-a-Lago Saturation Room.
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“He’s decided,” said SecWar Pete Hegseth. “We had a VIP meeting on Telegram during dinner two nights ago in the War-a-Lago Saturation Room.
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Did anyone seriously think that a drunk who invited journalists to his top-secret war planning zoom call was going to be anything more than a murderous dirtbag?
Whoa! Did anyone else get this invitation from the White House?
December 1, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Did anyone seriously think that a drunk who invited journalists to his top-secret war planning zoom call was going to be anything more than a murderous dirtbag?
The post below got over 700k views and 10k upvotes (likes) in just the first 48 hours on Reddit vs 12k views in a week on right-wing X.
Half the country is left-wing but if you’re Progressive, you don’t get the same product for your money as MAGA right-wingers do.
So why bother with X anymore?
Half the country is left-wing but if you’re Progressive, you don’t get the same product for your money as MAGA right-wingers do.
So why bother with X anymore?
November 30, 2025 at 6:20 PM
The post below got over 700k views and 10k upvotes (likes) in just the first 48 hours on Reddit vs 12k views in a week on right-wing X.
Half the country is left-wing but if you’re Progressive, you don’t get the same product for your money as MAGA right-wingers do.
So why bother with X anymore?
Half the country is left-wing but if you’re Progressive, you don’t get the same product for your money as MAGA right-wingers do.
So why bother with X anymore?
We all MUST praise the greatest President of all time, the absolute GOAT, Donald J Trump for his tremendous business acumen!
He and his billionaire followers are going to make many billions of dollars, just like Putin’s oligarchs, by selling out to Russia!
Glory of Praise!
He and his billionaire followers are going to make many billions of dollars, just like Putin’s oligarchs, by selling out to Russia!
Glory of Praise!
November 30, 2025 at 2:09 AM
We all MUST praise the greatest President of all time, the absolute GOAT, Donald J Trump for his tremendous business acumen!
He and his billionaire followers are going to make many billions of dollars, just like Putin’s oligarchs, by selling out to Russia!
Glory of Praise!
He and his billionaire followers are going to make many billions of dollars, just like Putin’s oligarchs, by selling out to Russia!
Glory of Praise!
I love my MAGA followers for how articulate they are when they pray to me.
Praised Be!
Praised Be!
November 29, 2025 at 11:53 PM
I love my MAGA followers for how articulate they are when they pray to me.
Praised Be!
Praised Be!
To be clear, Dear Demagogue means “white birth rate” whenever he says “birth rate.“
November 28, 2025 at 7:23 PM
To be clear, Dear Demagogue means “white birth rate” whenever he says “birth rate.“
If only Trump hadn’t deployed Sarah to a relatively safe American city then she wouldn’t have been on that corner in the first place.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
November 28, 2025 at 3:23 AM
If only Trump hadn’t deployed Sarah to a relatively safe American city then she wouldn’t have been on that corner in the first place.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
It’s only a matter of time.
November 28, 2025 at 3:02 AM
It’s only a matter of time.
This is sad. Real Americans are just pawn to the elites. Soldiers should never be deployed to “patrol” cities for show. We have trained cops for that.
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
November 28, 2025 at 12:15 AM
This is sad. Real Americans are just pawn to the elites. Soldiers should never be deployed to “patrol” cities for show. We have trained cops for that.
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
Imagine how many needless deaths would be avoided if only civilians weren’t allowed to have guns.
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
November 27, 2025 at 4:53 AM
Imagine how many needless deaths would be avoided if only civilians weren’t allowed to have guns.
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
WOW! America only goes UP under President Trump’s TREMENDOUS economic leadership!
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
November 25, 2025 at 2:41 AM
WOW! America only goes UP under President Trump’s TREMENDOUS economic leadership!
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
WARNING: I'm putting the final touches on my MASSIVE (well, 110-page leaked version of the Epstein Files. You won't believe what you see (or don't see, as the case may be)!
Stay tuned
Stay tuned
November 23, 2025 at 10:41 PM
WARNING: I'm putting the final touches on my MASSIVE (well, 110-page leaked version of the Epstein Files. You won't believe what you see (or don't see, as the case may be)!
Stay tuned
Stay tuned
Elon Musk is calling for riots now.
November 23, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Elon Musk is calling for riots now.
BREAKING: Libs Fear Mongering Over “Inflation”
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
November 23, 2025 at 3:51 PM
BREAKING: Libs Fear Mongering Over “Inflation”
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
BREAKING: President Trump's X Account's True Location Stuns and Shocks Nation
Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
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Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
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November 23, 2025 at 6:42 AM
BREAKING: President Trump's X Account's True Location Stuns and Shocks Nation
Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
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Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
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OOPS! Massive numbers of high-profile MAGA fantroll accounts were exposed as foreign psyops when X enabled a feature that showed the account’s actual location.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
November 22, 2025 at 4:14 PM
OOPS! Massive numbers of high-profile MAGA fantroll accounts were exposed as foreign psyops when X enabled a feature that showed the account’s actual location.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
GOP Bible Verse of the Day for Nov 21, 2025:
"Do not be of one accord, but separate yourselves by race and tongue."
– GOP Bible Acts 2:44
"Do not be of one accord, but separate yourselves by race and tongue."
– GOP Bible Acts 2:44
November 21, 2025 at 11:09 PM
GOP Bible Verse of the Day for Nov 21, 2025:
"Do not be of one accord, but separate yourselves by race and tongue."
– GOP Bible Acts 2:44
"Do not be of one accord, but separate yourselves by race and tongue."
– GOP Bible Acts 2:44