~garry~
@garrykerls.bsky.social
🏄♂️surfin’ the web🕸️ | words 4 @flagrantmag.com
@hard-drive.net - @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social
@hard-drive.net - @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social
Pinned
~garry~
@garrykerls.bsky.social
· Jul 5
If male bees can die after ejaculation then why can’t I?
guys, we're kinda getting out of control with the podcasts
December 24, 2025 at 1:39 AM
guys, we're kinda getting out of control with the podcasts
Reposted by ~garry~
[first day as a shepherd]
boss: where are you going?
me: [pointing] star
boss: what? why
me: [shrugging] baby
boss: where are you going?
me: [pointing] star
boss: what? why
me: [shrugging] baby
December 23, 2025 at 1:24 AM
[first day as a shepherd]
boss: where are you going?
me: [pointing] star
boss: what? why
me: [shrugging] baby
boss: where are you going?
me: [pointing] star
boss: what? why
me: [shrugging] baby
🎵in the middle of the night🎵
🎵i tell mom that i frowed up🎵
🎵i tell mom that i frowed up🎵
December 22, 2025 at 8:39 PM
🎵in the middle of the night🎵
🎵i tell mom that i frowed up🎵
🎵i tell mom that i frowed up🎵
Hulu would find more success if it rebranded as the Bob Burgers App
December 22, 2025 at 7:52 AM
Hulu would find more success if it rebranded as the Bob Burgers App
it was a hit!
December 21, 2025 at 6:45 AM
it was a hit!
pulling up the the christmas party with a pre-loaded bit
December 21, 2025 at 4:06 AM
pulling up the the christmas party with a pre-loaded bit
Reposted by ~garry~
This is a very generous depiction of what Kermit and Piggy's kids would actually look like.
December 20, 2025 at 1:38 AM
This is a very generous depiction of what Kermit and Piggy's kids would actually look like.
Reposted by ~garry~
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
December 18, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
WTF!? i sold my penis for barely $30,000 this is actually bullshit
Dr Oz: "The creation of a penis costs on average in America $150,000 per child ... if you add testicles, that's extra"
December 18, 2025 at 4:48 PM
WTF!? i sold my penis for barely $30,000 this is actually bullshit
coffee culture is so negative
CappucciNO
AmericaNO
MarocchiNO
start your day off with some positivity, like a JambalaYA
CappucciNO
AmericaNO
MarocchiNO
start your day off with some positivity, like a JambalaYA
December 17, 2025 at 6:16 PM
coffee culture is so negative
CappucciNO
AmericaNO
MarocchiNO
start your day off with some positivity, like a JambalaYA
CappucciNO
AmericaNO
MarocchiNO
start your day off with some positivity, like a JambalaYA
Scrooge: Go get the goose in the window, the one as big as you!
Tiny Tim: Fuck off old man, you ruined my dad's life and now you want his paraplegic son to run your errands? Get bent, grandpa
Tiny Tim: Fuck off old man, you ruined my dad's life and now you want his paraplegic son to run your errands? Get bent, grandpa
December 17, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Scrooge: Go get the goose in the window, the one as big as you!
Tiny Tim: Fuck off old man, you ruined my dad's life and now you want his paraplegic son to run your errands? Get bent, grandpa
Tiny Tim: Fuck off old man, you ruined my dad's life and now you want his paraplegic son to run your errands? Get bent, grandpa
the average person swallows around eight Santas in their sleep every year
December 16, 2025 at 6:31 PM
the average person swallows around eight Santas in their sleep every year
AI took my job so i'm gonna fuck it's wife!
December 16, 2025 at 6:13 PM
AI took my job so i'm gonna fuck it's wife!
before you buy anything online this holiday season make sure to text your friends that listen to podcasts and ask if they have a promo code for check-out
December 15, 2025 at 7:10 PM
before you buy anything online this holiday season make sure to text your friends that listen to podcasts and ask if they have a promo code for check-out
Reposted by ~garry~
Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz
December 12, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz
Reposted by ~garry~
cigarettes taste way better when you dip them in ranch
December 11, 2025 at 9:18 PM
cigarettes taste way better when you dip them in ranch
cigarettes taste way better when you dip them in ranch
December 11, 2025 at 9:18 PM
cigarettes taste way better when you dip them in ranch
you dilly, yes, but it's the dally you lack
December 11, 2025 at 1:00 AM
you dilly, yes, but it's the dally you lack
Reposted by ~garry~
Today we are unleashing Skynet, from the famous science fiction movie "Don't Create The Skynet"
December 9, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Today we are unleashing Skynet, from the famous science fiction movie "Don't Create The Skynet"
Reposted by ~garry~
Benito Mussolini [1929] (colorized)
December 8, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Benito Mussolini [1929] (colorized)
Benito Mussolini [1929] (colorized)
December 8, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Benito Mussolini [1929] (colorized)
if i were trapped as an anthropomorphic kitchen utensil in a cursed castle learning a big show-stopping broadway number doesn’t sound like the worst way to pass the time
December 7, 2025 at 12:49 AM
if i were trapped as an anthropomorphic kitchen utensil in a cursed castle learning a big show-stopping broadway number doesn’t sound like the worst way to pass the time
Reposted by ~garry~
I have to say: football posts suck. Not funny. Just always exasperated. Hate when I get tricked into reading one. Makes me glad I don’t watch football because no one can even complain about it in a funny way.
In conclusion: PEE YEW
In conclusion: PEE YEW
I don’t watch basketball but goddamn I love basketball posting. Sincerely. Best sports posts hands down.
December 6, 2025 at 4:53 AM
I have to say: football posts suck. Not funny. Just always exasperated. Hate when I get tricked into reading one. Makes me glad I don’t watch football because no one can even complain about it in a funny way.
In conclusion: PEE YEW
In conclusion: PEE YEW
iPhone: Allow Location Services?
me: only once
narrator: it was, in fact, the 487th time
me: only once
narrator: it was, in fact, the 487th time
December 6, 2025 at 1:12 AM
iPhone: Allow Location Services?
me: only once
narrator: it was, in fact, the 487th time
me: only once
narrator: it was, in fact, the 487th time