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Dustin Quillen

@dustinquillen.bsky.social

360 followers 170 following 1.7K posts

Writer, father, and three-time heavyweight champion of quitting social media

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Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · Apr 30

Exciting news! From now on we’re putting Seaman from the 2000 Sega Dreamcast game Seaman in charge of everything. He’ll grade your kid’s papers. He’s gonna interpret your ultrasound results. All information will flow through Seaman. And before you ask: YES! He will cost us all trillions of dollars!

Seaman is a fish with a humanoid face and a big weird tube growing from his head.

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Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 15h

I dunno, the part where the guy makes out with his sister seems right up his alley

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Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 16h

Darth Vader, famously one of the Good Guys

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 17h

Trump: "We have Darth Vader. You know Darth Vader, right? Darth Vader is a man who is sitting -- is that Darth? Stand up please. Does everybody know -- they call him Darth Vader, I call him a fine man. But he's cutting Democrat priorities and they're never gonna get them back."

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Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 16h

I just realized I have never played this. Popping it on the list

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 18h

It is hilarious to me that Pokémon games continue to give you dialogue options when the choices are always like:

•Yes.

•Sure.

•Yes!

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 1d

If the argument is “we don’t see how Ben Solo is alive” I have an easy solution for them: that movie where he died was a pile of shit everyone should just forget about anyway

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 1d

Activating Detective Vision so I can reconstruct the crime scene that resulted in me finding Mjolnir on the floor next to my toilet

It’s Mjolnir, hammer of the mighty Thor! I don’t know why it was on my bathroom floor!

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 2d

Diplomatic relations have once again broken down in the Sunny Spot territories of the Couch

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 2d

An extremely stupid-looking rooster with long, black feathers jutting out from his head in every direction. Despite being a prey animal, his gaze is that of a predator.

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 2d

He looks like the ghost of a 19th-century hypnotist who was tarred and feathered before being run out of town

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 2d

Stumbled upon this at the library and you could not get me to read it for anything less than high six figures

Booky Wook

BOOKY WOOK

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Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 3d

lol I just realized that channels is called “UnSoul’d”

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 3d

These AI sludge channels are just embarrassing when people like Mac Glocky are out there legitimately doing The Work when it comes to weird cover versions of songs: m.youtube.com/c/MacGlocky

mac glocky

Mgmt: [email protected]

m.youtube.com

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Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 4d

Ah shit, I had planned on doing this and then instinctively bought the Switch 2 version. Oh well

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 5d

We have a Virginia creeper growing on our deck and it is a magnet for these invasive bastards. They’d actually be kind of pretty (for a bug) if they didn’t show up by the thousands.

Spraying our vines down with neem oil over two summers seems to have eliminated the swarm. Maybe give that a go.

Photo of a Japanese beetle. It has a shiny, pearlescent green carapace with copper colored wings. I despise them.

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 5d

It is once again that time of year where I search Amazon for negative reviews of Michael Myers masks with accompanying photos

Picture of a pink, Hello Kitty-themed twin bed. Half a dozen stuffed Hello Kitty dolls are scattered across it. Tucked cozily into the blankets is a figure wearing a bootleg mask of Michael Myers from the Halloween films; his face is, inexplicably, charcoal black instead of the traditional white.

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 6d

Admittedly this would take up a lot of bumper space

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 6d

Bumper sticker on a Tesla that says, “I bought this AFTER Elon went CRAZY because I am a NIGHTMARE PERSON whose ENTIRE IDENTITY is wrapped up in a FASCIST PYRAMID SCHEME! Also, I am RECENTLY SINGLE and looking to MINGLE!”

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Reposted by Dustin Quillen

BYCTOM @byctom.bsky.social · 7d

this is the most like a mike tyson's punch out guy i have ever seen anyone look

Brewers outfielder Sal Frelick making an intense face as he prepares to throw the ball

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Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 7d

I was just thinking about how the only thing I’ve done with mine after I plugged it in was close the lens.

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 7d

If someone ever breaks into my home I plan to defend myself with the Doom Patrol omnibus

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Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 7d

I spent dozens of hours with this dogshit game purely because it had a decent (for the time) create-a-wrestler feature. I didn’t even like actual wrestling!

The disc for WWF Attitude for the Sega Dreamcast. The disc’s artwork features red tinted photos of Stone Cold Steve Austin, Undertaker, The Rock, Mankind, and Triple H.

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 7d

The absolute dream is this spreads through his preschool, becomes part of a viral TikTok, and Splatterhouse 2 replaces 6 7 as the confusing thing children the world over yell at one another

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 7d

And this is a big problem with these serialized stories that Gunn has said he’s trying to avoid. Miss one link in the chain and suddenly you’re like, “Who’s this? Why are they doing that?”

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 7d

Dunno if you watched Creature Commandos, but they establish Rick Sr. as kind of a fuckup in that show. He’s not exactly doing blow with super-henchmen, but it does reveal some impulsive, shortsighted tendencies in the guy. He gets so little screen time in Supes that his behavior in PM seems nuts

Dustin Quillen @dustinquillen.bsky.social · 7d

Our nation’s lead farmers gotta eat too