Dustin Quillen
@dustinquillen.bsky.social
Writer, father, and three-time heavyweight champion of quitting social media
Pinned
Dustin Quillen
@dustinquillen.bsky.social
· Apr 30
Exciting news! From now on we’re putting Seaman from the 2000 Sega Dreamcast game Seaman in charge of everything. He’ll grade your kid’s papers. He’s gonna interpret your ultrasound results. All information will flow through Seaman. And before you ask: YES! He will cost us all trillions of dollars!
Karoline Leavitt: Babe, do you remember where you were when you heard about 9/11?
Her 60-year-old husband: Sure do. I’d just grabbed a coffee on my way to a meeting back at the firm. News broke over the radio right in the middle of a song. Pretty crazy.
KL: Yeah! They interrupted Blues Clues too!
Her 60-year-old husband: Sure do. I’d just grabbed a coffee on my way to a meeting back at the firm. News broke over the radio right in the middle of a song. Pretty crazy.
KL: Yeah! They interrupted Blues Clues too!
December 18, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Karoline Leavitt: Babe, do you remember where you were when you heard about 9/11?
Her 60-year-old husband: Sure do. I’d just grabbed a coffee on my way to a meeting back at the firm. News broke over the radio right in the middle of a song. Pretty crazy.
KL: Yeah! They interrupted Blues Clues too!
Her 60-year-old husband: Sure do. I’d just grabbed a coffee on my way to a meeting back at the firm. News broke over the radio right in the middle of a song. Pretty crazy.
KL: Yeah! They interrupted Blues Clues too!
A moment of inspiration strikes Stephen Miller as his outer carapace splits open like a molting spider: what if we did reparations, but for the descendants of slave _owners_?
December 17, 2025 at 11:04 PM
A moment of inspiration strikes Stephen Miller as his outer carapace splits open like a molting spider: what if we did reparations, but for the descendants of slave _owners_?
Reposted by Dustin Quillen
I am not exaggerating when I say that This Is Spinal Tap is one of the most important and groundbreaking comedy films ever made, and that was just Rob Reiner’s FIRST ATTEMPT at directing a movie. RIP to one of the best to ever do it
December 15, 2025 at 5:05 AM
I am not exaggerating when I say that This Is Spinal Tap is one of the most important and groundbreaking comedy films ever made, and that was just Rob Reiner’s FIRST ATTEMPT at directing a movie. RIP to one of the best to ever do it
My favorite thing about the Knives Out movies is the one or two tiny glimpses we get per film into Benoit Blanc’s personal life. The man loves Andrew Lloyd Webber? Perfect.
December 14, 2025 at 3:59 PM
My favorite thing about the Knives Out movies is the one or two tiny glimpses we get per film into Benoit Blanc’s personal life. The man loves Andrew Lloyd Webber? Perfect.
EXT. MINNESOTA STREETS - NIGHT
WE OPEN on a MAN walking his DOGS.
MAN
Just shit already! It’s fuckin’ freezing!
As the DOGS oblige we CUT TO the thermal POV of THE PREDATOR, watching from a rooftop. A triangular reticle forms around the white-hot mound of poop and t
WE OPEN on a MAN walking his DOGS.
MAN
Just shit already! It’s fuckin’ freezing!
As the DOGS oblige we CUT TO the thermal POV of THE PREDATOR, watching from a rooftop. A triangular reticle forms around the white-hot mound of poop and t
December 14, 2025 at 2:18 AM
EXT. MINNESOTA STREETS - NIGHT
WE OPEN on a MAN walking his DOGS.
MAN
Just shit already! It’s fuckin’ freezing!
As the DOGS oblige we CUT TO the thermal POV of THE PREDATOR, watching from a rooftop. A triangular reticle forms around the white-hot mound of poop and t
WE OPEN on a MAN walking his DOGS.
MAN
Just shit already! It’s fuckin’ freezing!
As the DOGS oblige we CUT TO the thermal POV of THE PREDATOR, watching from a rooftop. A triangular reticle forms around the white-hot mound of poop and t
Briefly thought to myself, “the main characters in Interview with a Vampire were portrayed in the film by Tom Cruise and John Travolta” and although I quickly realized how wrong that was I cannot stop imagining the movie that way now
December 14, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Briefly thought to myself, “the main characters in Interview with a Vampire were portrayed in the film by Tom Cruise and John Travolta” and although I quickly realized how wrong that was I cannot stop imagining the movie that way now
A kid got shot this morning at a school only a handful of miles south of here. I’m just so fucking heartbroken and tired and disgusted and pissed off. Whatever the reason Americans keep telling themselves guns are worth keeping around, let me tell you: they ain’t worth this
December 12, 2025 at 6:52 PM
A kid got shot this morning at a school only a handful of miles south of here. I’m just so fucking heartbroken and tired and disgusted and pissed off. Whatever the reason Americans keep telling themselves guns are worth keeping around, let me tell you: they ain’t worth this
Reposted by Dustin Quillen
every three person friend group has the hulk, the namor and the wizard
December 12, 2025 at 5:01 AM
every three person friend group has the hulk, the namor and the wizard
An endless parade of cartoonishly French people won just about everything at the Game Awards tonight and I am sure The Worst People are being very normal about it
December 12, 2025 at 5:05 AM
An endless parade of cartoonishly French people won just about everything at the Game Awards tonight and I am sure The Worst People are being very normal about it
I have zero memories of my grandmother eating food with us and this honestly explains a lot
Mom’s Eyes Roll Back In Head At Dinner Table As She Feeds On Family’s Enjoyment Of Food https://theonion.com/moms-eyes-roll-back-in-head-at-dinner-table-as-she-feeds-on-familys-enjoyment-of-food/
December 11, 2025 at 6:44 PM
I have zero memories of my grandmother eating food with us and this honestly explains a lot
I think future historians will point to the moment when every podcast ad became about “social casinos” as the beginning of some truly Dark Shit for humanity
December 10, 2025 at 2:02 AM
I think future historians will point to the moment when every podcast ad became about “social casinos” as the beginning of some truly Dark Shit for humanity
Approaching “Puppet Show & Spinal Tap” territory
A zoomed out shot of the room where Trump is speaking right now from earlier in the day:
December 10, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Approaching “Puppet Show & Spinal Tap” territory
Reposted by Dustin Quillen
it's 2025 and the gangly guy who appeared on a few seasons of The Office is now our only mirror to society
December 9, 2025 at 9:21 PM
it's 2025 and the gangly guy who appeared on a few seasons of The Office is now our only mirror to society
Once every couple years I encounter a spoken phrase that worms its way into my mind so deeply that I know I will continue repeating it long after I have forgotten the source material. It is with great shame I report that, “oooo! Ve are going to Auschvitz, yaaah!” has been added to the lineup
I can’t emphasize enough how much you need to watch this until the end
December 9, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Once every couple years I encounter a spoken phrase that worms its way into my mind so deeply that I know I will continue repeating it long after I have forgotten the source material. It is with great shame I report that, “oooo! Ve are going to Auschvitz, yaaah!” has been added to the lineup
Reposted by Dustin Quillen
"Old and true. And sturdy. One of the best [gaming] tools ever built. We've grown reliant on Imperial tech, and we've made ourselves vulnerable. There's a growing list of things we've known and forgotten, things they've pushed us to forget. Things like freedom."
December 7, 2025 at 11:33 PM
"Old and true. And sturdy. One of the best [gaming] tools ever built. We've grown reliant on Imperial tech, and we've made ourselves vulnerable. There's a growing list of things we've known and forgotten, things they've pushed us to forget. Things like freedom."
Finally, a video game with the chutzpah to ask if it’s serving me enough Kill Bill content. Take note, Clair Obscur: Expedition 33
December 7, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Finally, a video game with the chutzpah to ask if it’s serving me enough Kill Bill content. Take note, Clair Obscur: Expedition 33
Alongside this pivot from the Metaverse, insiders said the company will move to change its name once again from “Meta” to “Hey! Hey You! Is That Shit on Your Face Recording Me? Yeah, I’m Talking to You, Fucko!”
Mark Zuckerberg’s gamble on the ‘Metaverse’ has cost Meta more than $77B
The company now plans to cut spending on it and shift focus to AI wearables instead
(via WSJ)
The company now plans to cut spending on it and shift focus to AI wearables instead
(via WSJ)
December 7, 2025 at 5:37 AM
Alongside this pivot from the Metaverse, insiders said the company will move to change its name once again from “Meta” to “Hey! Hey You! Is That Shit on Your Face Recording Me? Yeah, I’m Talking to You, Fucko!”
Had the misfortune of being dragged into a Hobby Lobby today only to discover that the place is now bursting at the seams with framed AI-generated garbage. Look at this thing! LOOK AT IT!!!
December 6, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Had the misfortune of being dragged into a Hobby Lobby today only to discover that the place is now bursting at the seams with framed AI-generated garbage. Look at this thing! LOOK AT IT!!!
“Netflix employee Ed Boon” has the same sort of ick to it as “John Carmack of Facebook” did
December 6, 2025 at 5:22 AM
“Netflix employee Ed Boon” has the same sort of ick to it as “John Carmack of Facebook” did
Sharks, now is your opportunity to get in on the ground floor of the nation’s hottest ska-themed bar: it’s Horn Pub
December 6, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Sharks, now is your opportunity to get in on the ground floor of the nation’s hottest ska-themed bar: it’s Horn Pub
Media consolidation makes basically everything worse and helps lay the groundwork for fascism. We all know this. On the other hand, the lawyers will be powerless the next time @stevelieberart.bsky.social wants to draw some Arrested Development stuff in a DC comic. Silver linings.
December 5, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Media consolidation makes basically everything worse and helps lay the groundwork for fascism. We all know this. On the other hand, the lawyers will be powerless the next time @stevelieberart.bsky.social wants to draw some Arrested Development stuff in a DC comic. Silver linings.
Minneapolis Police: “Back off, Feds! Nobody terrorizes our citizens but us!”
Minneapolis Police Chief O'Hara notes the MPD will not work with federal agents & says "In moments like this, I know how real the fear is in our community. People are going to want to speak out, protest, & exercise their 1st Amendment rights. We will absolutely defend people's right to do just that"
December 2, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Minneapolis Police: “Back off, Feds! Nobody terrorizes our citizens but us!”
Someone I was cooking for once told me not to give them any soy sauce or edamame because soy is “full of estrogen” and will “make you grow boobs” and I suppose that explains why everyone’s stereotypical view of the yakuza is a guy with sick tattoos and big naturals
December 2, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Someone I was cooking for once told me not to give them any soy sauce or edamame because soy is “full of estrogen” and will “make you grow boobs” and I suppose that explains why everyone’s stereotypical view of the yakuza is a guy with sick tattoos and big naturals