Chase Hoffman
driftpeasant.org
Chase Hoffman
@driftpeasant.org
Blackburn Rovers 'til I die, Austin FC until seriously ill. My opinions are mine and do not represent those of the Waystar Corporation.
Pinned
Evergreen Post:

Going into this MLS season I have:
OH SHIT SON, IT'S FRIDAY, AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
January 16, 2026 at 4:47 PM
Nanu Nanu
January 4, 2026 at 2:00 AM
AWWWWW SHIT SON

DESIGNED BY SOONJET!

2025 IS FINALLY GOOD!
December 30, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Behold! The physical manifestation of depression!
December 26, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Well, if you do suddenly have to buy a car, right after your divorce, as a 45 year old man, at least the best deal is on Midlife Crisis Red.
December 22, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Lil' Jon Christmas songs at the Honda dealership is not what I expected.

Also, it references Diddy, so, uh, maybe take that one out of rotation there, folks.
December 20, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Reposted by Chase Hoffman
December 15, 2025 at 11:40 PM
@weratedogs.com did I accidentally adopt a kangaroo?
December 16, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Lily watched Zoolander and decided her Blue Steel is better.
December 13, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Ah crap, eastern New Mexico is going through Instrumentality.
December 12, 2025 at 6:04 PM
@hooverdam.bsky.social I found your shirt
December 11, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Every time I hear a kid named "Ronan", I assume they're two seconds from yelling "J'Accuse!"
December 9, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Reposted by Chase Hoffman
The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow
December 6, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Update:
December 4, 2025 at 6:57 PM
December 4, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Mmmmmmmmmm, the taste of Vecna
December 4, 2025 at 6:14 PM
"A...I. What's the A stand for?"
"Artificial."
"What's the I...?"
"Intelligence."
"Oh... what was the A again?"
"Shut up, Caboose."

#aws #reinvent
December 2, 2025 at 7:09 PM
A better automatic native AWS security agent? Lily is intrigued and wishes to subscribe to your newsletter. #aws #reinvent #awsreinvent
December 2, 2025 at 6:01 PM
As the other Beck said "I'm a loser, baby" - he was clearly talking about Glenn.
Every sentence here is even crazier than the last.
December 2, 2025 at 5:33 PM
If you know you're going to lose Mariahpocalypse, why not just go hard?
December 2, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Worst Pokémon ever. 300GbEAmon or GTFO.
December 2, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Come on, AWS re:Invent. Is anyone going to get a tattoo of an S3 bucket called "Mom", really?
December 1, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Damn. Southwest Airlines is harder core than I remembered.
December 1, 2025 at 5:49 AM
Look, I get that one razor blade is old-school, but don't call your own product lame.
November 30, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Are you not watching the MLS Conference Finals? Then Lily is judging you.
November 30, 2025 at 2:54 AM