Mark Primiano
@doctor1hundred.bsky.social
I'm a steady hand.
I'm your cutter man.
I'm your cutter man.
Reposted by Mark Primiano
"the president had a preventative mri and everything looks fine" feels like the sort of information you only announce if you're pretty sure shit is about to get visibly weird. that's what you put out if his head is going to fall off and start walking away like the guy from the thing next week
December 1, 2025 at 8:27 PM
"the president had a preventative mri and everything looks fine" feels like the sort of information you only announce if you're pretty sure shit is about to get visibly weird. that's what you put out if his head is going to fall off and start walking away like the guy from the thing next week
Not quite sure how I got on their list but I got a promo email from Churu, the cat goo company?
December 1, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Not quite sure how I got on their list but I got a promo email from Churu, the cat goo company?
My girlfriend and I went to SuperWrestlers last night and as so often happens at wrestling shows, there was an awful fan. Dude yelled out the f-slur at a wrestler during a promo. The whole show stopped and the promoter turned around and had the guy kicked out of the building. Pretty good shit!
December 1, 2025 at 1:27 PM
My girlfriend and I went to SuperWrestlers last night and as so often happens at wrestling shows, there was an awful fan. Dude yelled out the f-slur at a wrestler during a promo. The whole show stopped and the promoter turned around and had the guy kicked out of the building. Pretty good shit!
I refuse to believe Michigan State is actually that interested in Pat Fitzgerald.
"Yeah man, when you can hire a guy who went 14-31 and hasn't coached anywhere since 2022 because of a hazing scandal, you just have to do it."
"Yeah man, when you can hire a guy who went 14-31 and hasn't coached anywhere since 2022 because of a hazing scandal, you just have to do it."
November 30, 2025 at 8:40 PM
I refuse to believe Michigan State is actually that interested in Pat Fitzgerald.
"Yeah man, when you can hire a guy who went 14-31 and hasn't coached anywhere since 2022 because of a hazing scandal, you just have to do it."
"Yeah man, when you can hire a guy who went 14-31 and hasn't coached anywhere since 2022 because of a hazing scandal, you just have to do it."
One of the lesser known but most important aspect of a martial art is that it have a name that is incredibly fun to say. Muay thai, krav maga, jiu jitsu, aikido. Good stuff!
November 30, 2025 at 6:29 PM
One of the lesser known but most important aspect of a martial art is that it have a name that is incredibly fun to say. Muay thai, krav maga, jiu jitsu, aikido. Good stuff!
Branches of the Tim Beckman Coaching Tree now extend into two power conference jobs.
November 30, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Branches of the Tim Beckman Coaching Tree now extend into two power conference jobs.
8-4! Now get a new defensive coordinator and do better next year (a thought I am thrilled to finally have as an Illini fan).
Northwestern actively wants to lose! Just finish them off!
November 30, 2025 at 3:50 AM
8-4! Now get a new defensive coordinator and do better next year (a thought I am thrilled to finally have as an Illini fan).
Northwestern actively wants to lose! Just finish them off!
November 30, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Northwestern actively wants to lose! Just finish them off!
Man, I am going to miss Luke Altmeyer.
November 30, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Man, I am going to miss Luke Altmeyer.
There is a lady cleaning her car window with a pillow on my street right now?
November 29, 2025 at 9:23 PM
There is a lady cleaning her car window with a pillow on my street right now?
Favorite way to work out.
November 29, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Favorite way to work out.
The little indie bookstore in my neighborhood is unionizing and all the employees are out front raising awareness about it but still telling folks to go in and buy books and man, this rules.
November 29, 2025 at 7:35 PM
The little indie bookstore in my neighborhood is unionizing and all the employees are out front raising awareness about it but still telling folks to go in and buy books and man, this rules.
"You too can be lonely like Tom Brady" is a weird message to sell in a commercial.
November 29, 2025 at 6:06 PM
"You too can be lonely like Tom Brady" is a weird message to sell in a commercial.
The incredibly non-zero and growing chance of Indiana being the #1 ranked football team in the country by the end of the day is simply too much to comprehend.
November 29, 2025 at 5:54 PM
The incredibly non-zero and growing chance of Indiana being the #1 ranked football team in the country by the end of the day is simply too much to comprehend.
Rapidly becoming overwhelmed with the urge to grill in this snowstorm.
November 29, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Rapidly becoming overwhelmed with the urge to grill in this snowstorm.
Bears are legit good? This rocks so much!
November 28, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Bears are legit good? This rocks so much!
When Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes, they need to be placed in the Disney Vault for 15-20 years so I no longer need to see them. Jason Kelce can go with them.
November 28, 2025 at 8:15 PM
When Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes, they need to be placed in the Disney Vault for 15-20 years so I no longer need to see them. Jason Kelce can go with them.
Not only is it a good read, your cats will sit adorably on it afterwards. That's like getting two great things for the price of one!
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Not only is it a good read, your cats will sit adorably on it afterwards. That's like getting two great things for the price of one!
Becoming wildly maudlin about the fact that my car is nearing the end of its road. It has been in my life since I was 18!
November 28, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Becoming wildly maudlin about the fact that my car is nearing the end of its road. It has been in my life since I was 18!
I love my rodent-themed hardware store.
November 28, 2025 at 3:29 PM
I love my rodent-themed hardware store.
Jack White loves the hell out of his hometown and that rocks.
November 27, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Jack White loves the hell out of his hometown and that rocks.
I complained about there being too many commercials with Kevin Hart in them and now all the ads are about AI. Real monkey paw shit over here.
November 27, 2025 at 6:29 PM
I complained about there being too many commercials with Kevin Hart in them and now all the ads are about AI. Real monkey paw shit over here.
Gonna start a The Who cover band called The Whom and everyone in it will be dressed like an insufferable grammar nerd.
November 27, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Gonna start a The Who cover band called The Whom and everyone in it will be dressed like an insufferable grammar nerd.
Look at this! And then go look at that AI slop again!
November 27, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Look at this! And then go look at that AI slop again!
You can immediately tell these are fake by the Facebook as AI cartoons and that's before you look at the prices and the dates not being real.
November 27, 2025 at 3:09 PM
You can immediately tell these are fake by the Facebook as AI cartoons and that's before you look at the prices and the dates not being real.