The Joke Calculator
@dewno.bsky.social
I'm the world-famous Joke Calculator.
Still a bit confused by how this new website works. Not a fan of the drama and personalities on here. Just my take. (he/him)
Still a bit confused by how this new website works. Not a fan of the drama and personalities on here. Just my take. (he/him)
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons
December 18, 2025 at 2:17 PM
I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons
they're playing "Rasputin" during the coach's challenge in Spurs-Wizards
December 19, 2025 at 3:02 AM
they're playing "Rasputin" during the coach's challenge in Spurs-Wizards
IMO the left has to be willing to be "unreasonable" on this issue on the grounds that inclusion and compassion and fighting discrimination are all bigger issues than the supposed fairness of women's sports. The right tends to understand this insistence and it's one reason they have success.
They developed the "high school girl's sports" angle as a wedge issue, to lever their way up to full society-wide discrimination. What's endlessly stunning to me is how many purported liberals a) helped them when it started & b) are still helping them even after the larger purpose has become clear!
December 17, 2025 at 7:13 PM
IMO the left has to be willing to be "unreasonable" on this issue on the grounds that inclusion and compassion and fighting discrimination are all bigger issues than the supposed fairness of women's sports. The right tends to understand this insistence and it's one reason they have success.
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
The Knicks took TWELVE more shots in the fourth quarter than the Spurs. Wrote in the game preview (yhoo.it/48Ir8xf) about how dominating the possession game is New York's not-so-secret weapon:
December 17, 2025 at 4:12 AM
The Knicks took TWELVE more shots in the fourth quarter than the Spurs. Wrote in the game preview (yhoo.it/48Ir8xf) about how dominating the possession game is New York's not-so-secret weapon:
Grats, Knicks fans. Personally, I consider the NBA Cup as more of an unofficial exhibition, more of a fun show, more of a burst of early-season spice, a little pot-pourri for the holidays.
That's not to downplay it at all: The Thunder cannot be considered a legitimate dynasty without having won it.
That's not to downplay it at all: The Thunder cannot be considered a legitimate dynasty without having won it.
December 17, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Grats, Knicks fans. Personally, I consider the NBA Cup as more of an unofficial exhibition, more of a fun show, more of a burst of early-season spice, a little pot-pourri for the holidays.
That's not to downplay it at all: The Thunder cannot be considered a legitimate dynasty without having won it.
That's not to downplay it at all: The Thunder cannot be considered a legitimate dynasty without having won it.
Wemby going nuclear is the headline, but this is a great game
December 17, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Wemby going nuclear is the headline, but this is a great game
Oof KAT, hope it was just a knee collision. He was having a great stint right there, too.
December 17, 2025 at 3:22 AM
Oof KAT, hope it was just a knee collision. He was having a great stint right there, too.
Okay, that was pretty cool, Karl.
December 17, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Okay, that was pretty cool, Karl.
Mike Brown is crafty. Spurs will need all sorts of tricks to have a chance. Fake punts, squib kicks, flea-flickers, the classic Statue of Liberty, not to mention the tricks learned from wizardry such as alchemy, science, an old-fashioned do-se-do, alley-oops, mail fraud, and the Office Space scheme.
December 17, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Mike Brown is crafty. Spurs will need all sorts of tricks to have a chance. Fake punts, squib kicks, flea-flickers, the classic Statue of Liberty, not to mention the tricks learned from wizardry such as alchemy, science, an old-fashioned do-se-do, alley-oops, mail fraud, and the Office Space scheme.
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
or getting knocked down. or getting up again. or never being kept down. or drinking the night away
December 16, 2025 at 6:47 AM
or getting knocked down. or getting up again. or never being kept down. or drinking the night away
Yesterday, I deadlifted for the first time in six weeks, and the soreness I feel has helped me learn a fun and valuable lesson: Hamstrings do lots of important things! Like sitting up. Or standing up. Or lying down. Or getting up. Or bending down. Or going up steps. Or walking. Hooray for learning!
December 16, 2025 at 6:44 AM
Yesterday, I deadlifted for the first time in six weeks, and the soreness I feel has helped me learn a fun and valuable lesson: Hamstrings do lots of important things! Like sitting up. Or standing up. Or lying down. Or getting up. Or bending down. Or going up steps. Or walking. Hooray for learning!
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
Nature would do well to publish more content like this thoughtful piece from @kevinbaker.bsky.social and fewer Buzzfeed listicles gussied up as career advice "Five productivity hacks for using AI in your scientific workflow"
Context Widows
or, of GPUs, LPUs, and Goal Displacement
artificialbureaucracy.substack.com
December 15, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Nature would do well to publish more content like this thoughtful piece from @kevinbaker.bsky.social and fewer Buzzfeed listicles gussied up as career advice "Five productivity hacks for using AI in your scientific workflow"
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
Plenty of US presidents have done worse things than Donald Trump (at least so far). But I don't think the US will ever recover from the way he encourages all of us to be the absolute worst version of ourselves.
December 15, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Plenty of US presidents have done worse things than Donald Trump (at least so far). But I don't think the US will ever recover from the way he encourages all of us to be the absolute worst version of ourselves.
I don't want to do respectability politics on this story, because they shouldn't *have* to be US citizens to be worthy of dignified treatment. Having said that, this story illustrates better than anything else that the agenda of this federal government is fundamentally built on racism and xenophobia
Armed ICE agents trapped US citizens in a restaurant and demanded their papers. Federal agents walked into East African restaurants in Cedar-Riverside, MN. They closed and blocked the doors. Then they demanded to see everyone’s papers. Every person present was a US citizen.
Federal agents use chemical irritant on crowd in Somali neighborhood of Minneapolis amid Trump crackdown
Federal agents have used chemical irritant to disperse a crowd in a heavily Somali neighborhood in Minneapolis. This happened Tuesday during a identification checks amid the Trump administration's cra...
www.mprnews.org
December 14, 2025 at 9:12 PM
I don't want to do respectability politics on this story, because they shouldn't *have* to be US citizens to be worthy of dignified treatment. Having said that, this story illustrates better than anything else that the agenda of this federal government is fundamentally built on racism and xenophobia
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
So probable cause is now just...going to an East African restaurant
Armed ICE agents trapped US citizens in a restaurant and demanded their papers. Federal agents walked into East African restaurants in Cedar-Riverside, MN. They closed and blocked the doors. Then they demanded to see everyone’s papers. Every person present was a US citizen.
Federal agents use chemical irritant on crowd in Somali neighborhood of Minneapolis amid Trump crackdown
Federal agents have used chemical irritant to disperse a crowd in a heavily Somali neighborhood in Minneapolis. This happened Tuesday during a identification checks amid the Trump administration's cra...
www.mprnews.org
December 14, 2025 at 8:18 PM
So probable cause is now just...going to an East African restaurant
Ugh. Just tried frying up some diced onions and potatoes today. I really made a hash of it.
December 14, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Ugh. Just tried frying up some diced onions and potatoes today. I really made a hash of it.
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
I am in the Sunday Blog Chair for the last time in 2025 today. My first post, which will doubtless prove useful to every NBA team, unpacks the three easily replicated lessons from the Spurs handing the Thunder their first loss in six weeks: defector.com/the-spurs-sh...
The Spurs Showed How To Beat The Thunder | Defector
It is not the biggest problem facing the NBA, and it is not really the Oklahoma City Thunder’s fault, but it is unfortunate that the best team in the sport is such lousy television. It’s more accurate...
defector.com
December 14, 2025 at 6:31 PM
I am in the Sunday Blog Chair for the last time in 2025 today. My first post, which will doubtless prove useful to every NBA team, unpacks the three easily replicated lessons from the Spurs handing the Thunder their first loss in six weeks: defector.com/the-spurs-sh...
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
San Antonio clears out of the lane to let SGA get an uncontested dunk. SGA still looks to the refs for a foul call.
December 14, 2025 at 4:50 AM
San Antonio clears out of the lane to let SGA get an uncontested dunk. SGA still looks to the refs for a foul call.
looks like we're finally going to get an answer to the unstoppable force/immovable wall question
December 14, 2025 at 4:19 AM
looks like we're finally going to get an answer to the unstoppable force/immovable wall question
Caruso indignantly appealing to "No harm, no foul" after the touch foul, is quietly set aside and told by teammates that that isn't an actual rule and that he's just been hurting people for no reason, causing an existential crisis
December 14, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Caruso indignantly appealing to "No harm, no foul" after the touch foul, is quietly set aside and told by teammates that that isn't an actual rule and that he's just been hurting people for no reason, causing an existential crisis
it's absolutely the dominant narrative, but I do find it annoying (in the same way this was true for the late-dynasty Spurs) that the only thing they want to talk about is how great the Thunder are and how unselfish are and how much of a system they have and how dominant they are and how great etc.
December 14, 2025 at 4:00 AM
it's absolutely the dominant narrative, but I do find it annoying (in the same way this was true for the late-dynasty Spurs) that the only thing they want to talk about is how great the Thunder are and how unselfish are and how much of a system they have and how dominant they are and how great etc.
Anyway, Dylan Harper is already a star. Because of the Spurs' very weird/unique roster situation, it's hard to see this from the outside, but he makes great decisions and has immense skill already, especially in creating/exploiting passing lanes and finishing at the rim
December 14, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Anyway, Dylan Harper is already a star. Because of the Spurs' very weird/unique roster situation, it's hard to see this from the outside, but he makes great decisions and has immense skill already, especially in creating/exploiting passing lanes and finishing at the rim
Was really surreal hearing the Prime crew off-handedly joking about how people have mortgages riding on the outcome of this game. It feels like a throwback to 5 years ago when gambling was specific enough to Vegas to be a punchline
December 14, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Was really surreal hearing the Prime crew off-handedly joking about how people have mortgages riding on the outcome of this game. It feels like a throwback to 5 years ago when gambling was specific enough to Vegas to be a punchline
that was a good stint, but not nearly enough: the Spurs need to find a way to compress all the power of Wemby into a single 25-point possession
December 14, 2025 at 3:04 AM
that was a good stint, but not nearly enough: the Spurs need to find a way to compress all the power of Wemby into a single 25-point possession
i think it's fine that people plan their self-improvement plans/personal gifts/road trips with ChatGPT. seriously, it's fine. they should just also be required to disclose that
December 14, 2025 at 2:53 AM
i think it's fine that people plan their self-improvement plans/personal gifts/road trips with ChatGPT. seriously, it's fine. they should just also be required to disclose that