The Joke Calculator
dewno.bsky.social
The Joke Calculator
@dewno.bsky.social
I'm the world-famous Joke Calculator.

Still a bit confused by how this new website works. Not a fan of the drama and personalities on here. Just my take. (he/him)
My entire term would be chosen to make it as ironic as possible. My receptionists would be named Kennedy and Lincoln. I'd grant a medal of freedom to Jim Davis. My inaugural would be a tribute to William Henry Harrison and we'd announce a new pneumonia initiative. My headaches would all be terrible.
December 19, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Every news story on social media about a trans athlete features dozens of comments by fascist TERFs intentionally misgendering the athlete in question. They understand the stakes of this wedge issue as well as anyone, and if we don't fight against it, we concede the whole frame to them.
December 17, 2025 at 7:24 PM
To the extent that any of these critiques are remotely reasonable, the smooth functioning and fair outcomes of gendered youth sports are simply not that precious as values that we ought to sacrifice the ability of trans kids to make friends and excel at an activity that interests them!
December 17, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Basically, if the left (broadly conceived) concedes on this issue, what are we really saying by that? I think we're saying that we don't really believe in inclusion and compassion and fighting discrimination at the end of the day unless they already accord with the smooth functioning of institutions
December 17, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Distracted by Mike Brown's numerous tricks, incl "previously anonymous white boy who draws charges", "KAT doesn't foul out", and "rim tampered with by compulsive gamblers from Atlantic City", the Spurs ultimately fell for the classic "Mitchell Robinson is good at offensive rebounding" trick
December 17, 2025 at 6:46 PM
(I've been reading the Brad Neely book, which you conceivably might've been able to figure out from this post)
December 17, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Quads are simple: Either they can do it or they can't. They don't really have thoughts beyond that. Hamstrings have interiority, are at least as intelligent as dogs, can understand the concept of sin, are picky eaters, and are in a job where their input is listened to, though they also have anxiety.
December 16, 2025 at 7:13 AM
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, it's nothing. Well, okay, definitely not nothing. But you're probably going to make a full recovery, so just don't even worry about it."
"Can you be more specific?"
"No."
December 16, 2025 at 7:03 AM
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
or getting knocked down. or getting up again. or never being kept down. or drinking the night away
December 16, 2025 at 6:47 AM
Hamstring soreness is interesting because it's such a huge and complex muscle group that it never just feels sore. There's something ever so slightly wrong down there that it doesn't want to tell you about so you don't freak out. And you just have to trust that it knows what it's doing.
December 16, 2025 at 6:56 AM