David K. Mitchell
@davidkmitchell.bsky.social
Not that David Mitchell. No, not that one either.
Linktr.ee/DavidKMitchell
Linktr.ee/DavidKMitchell
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👇 More to my disconnect with the winter Olympics. Elite sport is amazing, but surely the aim is mass participation? We want everyone fit and healthy and happy.
Rather than a few well-funded posh kids travelling the globe.
Rather than a few well-funded posh kids travelling the globe.
Skeleton, a sport practised by a few thousand people (probably far fewer) in this country, has received £5,765,123 from UK Sport for the 2022-26 period.
That's more than what was awarded to basketball, handball, lacrosse, fencing, squash and volleyball taken together over the same period.
That's more than what was awarded to basketball, handball, lacrosse, fencing, squash and volleyball taken together over the same period.
What exactly is it about Britons that makes us so good at hurtling down an icy drainpipe? | Zoe Williams
February 17, 2026 at 12:53 PM
👇 More to my disconnect with the winter Olympics. Elite sport is amazing, but surely the aim is mass participation? We want everyone fit and healthy and happy.
Rather than a few well-funded posh kids travelling the globe.
Rather than a few well-funded posh kids travelling the globe.
Cool, I'll get to that, but first I'm gonna take off my helmet and prod this alien goo to see how it reacts...
If you’re being assigned to an interplanetary crew, you should be forced to watch all of these space disaster movies and pass a test on what not to do when something seems weird on mission
#FrightClub
#FrightClub
February 17, 2026 at 9:28 AM
Cool, I'll get to that, but first I'm gonna take off my helmet and prod this alien goo to see how it reacts...
Reposted by David K. Mitchell
Sometimes I get a little upset when I live in a collapsing dystopia for many years
February 16, 2026 at 5:48 AM
Sometimes I get a little upset when I live in a collapsing dystopia for many years
Remember the wild days of the past, when if you wanted a photo of something you could just find one online?
You wouldn't have to scroll through pages of fucking slop imaginations of that thing.
You wouldn't have to scroll through pages of fucking slop imaginations of that thing.
February 16, 2026 at 10:52 AM
Remember the wild days of the past, when if you wanted a photo of something you could just find one online?
You wouldn't have to scroll through pages of fucking slop imaginations of that thing.
You wouldn't have to scroll through pages of fucking slop imaginations of that thing.
I do a chest session at least once as week and nothing changes, I never do shoulders but they seem to grow?
So I guess either fitness is a lie, or bad posture and lots of stress is the secret shoulder routine?
10 x 4 exasperated sighs.
8 x 3 tense shrugs.
9 x Hours hunched at a desk.
So I guess either fitness is a lie, or bad posture and lots of stress is the secret shoulder routine?
10 x 4 exasperated sighs.
8 x 3 tense shrugs.
9 x Hours hunched at a desk.
February 15, 2026 at 2:06 PM
I do a chest session at least once as week and nothing changes, I never do shoulders but they seem to grow?
So I guess either fitness is a lie, or bad posture and lots of stress is the secret shoulder routine?
10 x 4 exasperated sighs.
8 x 3 tense shrugs.
9 x Hours hunched at a desk.
So I guess either fitness is a lie, or bad posture and lots of stress is the secret shoulder routine?
10 x 4 exasperated sighs.
8 x 3 tense shrugs.
9 x Hours hunched at a desk.
Remus is loving it though, so maybe I'm being too harsh.
February 14, 2026 at 9:14 PM
Remus is loving it though, so maybe I'm being too harsh.
Oh, and why are the edges of all modern films blurry?
a cartoon of homer simpson is holding a newspaper that says old man yells at cloud
ALT: a cartoon of homer simpson is holding a newspaper that says old man yells at cloud
media.tenor.com
February 14, 2026 at 8:57 PM
Oh, and why are the edges of all modern films blurry?
I really wanna enjoy Predator Badlands, but half hour in and its a bit soulless and a lot CGI
February 14, 2026 at 8:56 PM
I really wanna enjoy Predator Badlands, but half hour in and its a bit soulless and a lot CGI
Reposted by David K. Mitchell
there are only two moods as an artist
July 1, 2025 at 3:01 PM
there are only two moods as an artist
Crap. Turns out - based on this - that I've not acclimatised or intergrated, despite my family tree basically being an Oak thats bounced around Cornwall and Wales for the last 300 odd years.
I especially think the Life in the UK test is a dumb way to test how immigrants have acclimatised and integrated. It's a bunch of parrot-learning on facts most British people don't know. Here's a taster: www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZcJ...
The Top 10 HARDEST Questions + Summary Notes! Life in the UK Test 2026 Practice 🇬🇧
YouTube video by UK Life Prep
www.youtube.com
February 12, 2026 at 2:40 PM
Crap. Turns out - based on this - that I've not acclimatised or intergrated, despite my family tree basically being an Oak thats bounced around Cornwall and Wales for the last 300 odd years.
Reposted by David K. Mitchell
Rarely mentioned but about much of Ratcliffe’s business ‘success’ is based on draining public money (very common among these ‘self made tycoons’)
Eg democracyforsale.substack.com/p/ineos-set-...
Eg democracyforsale.substack.com/p/ineos-set-...
February 11, 2026 at 8:16 PM
Rarely mentioned but about much of Ratcliffe’s business ‘success’ is based on draining public money (very common among these ‘self made tycoons’)
Eg democracyforsale.substack.com/p/ineos-set-...
Eg democracyforsale.substack.com/p/ineos-set-...
Patriotism isn’t moving your money into offshore accounts and shouting about immigration.
Patriotism is volunteering at food banks, youth centres, and libraries.
Oh, and paying your taxes.
Patriotism is volunteering at food banks, youth centres, and libraries.
Oh, and paying your taxes.
February 12, 2026 at 7:17 AM
Patriotism isn’t moving your money into offshore accounts and shouting about immigration.
Patriotism is volunteering at food banks, youth centres, and libraries.
Oh, and paying your taxes.
Patriotism is volunteering at food banks, youth centres, and libraries.
Oh, and paying your taxes.
Timely reminder that we actually used to get lots of funding from the EU, due to how impoverished areas of the county are.
So glad "wE Got Hour CuntTree BaCk"
So glad "wE Got Hour CuntTree BaCk"
£1bn of Recovery Grant funding has been allocated by government nationally.
Cornwall’s allocation was £0.
The criteria for this fund prioritised other areas.
Cornwall’s allocation was £0.
The criteria for this fund prioritised other areas.
February 11, 2026 at 7:33 PM
Timely reminder that we actually used to get lots of funding from the EU, due to how impoverished areas of the county are.
So glad "wE Got Hour CuntTree BaCk"
So glad "wE Got Hour CuntTree BaCk"
My aim is to be even half the man my dog thinks I am...
February 11, 2026 at 7:29 PM
My aim is to be even half the man my dog thinks I am...
It feels like there are two distinct types of arachnologists.
We've got the academic type, calling things palpigrades and schizomids, then there's the kinky bastards going, "lets call that one daddy long legs and that one a whip spider."
We've got the academic type, calling things palpigrades and schizomids, then there's the kinky bastards going, "lets call that one daddy long legs and that one a whip spider."
February 11, 2026 at 1:43 PM
It feels like there are two distinct types of arachnologists.
We've got the academic type, calling things palpigrades and schizomids, then there's the kinky bastards going, "lets call that one daddy long legs and that one a whip spider."
We've got the academic type, calling things palpigrades and schizomids, then there's the kinky bastards going, "lets call that one daddy long legs and that one a whip spider."
Labour MPs trying to work out who's sabotaged The Labour Party
Suspect Guilty GIF
ALT: Suspect Guilty GIF
media.tenor.com
February 11, 2026 at 12:28 PM
Labour MPs trying to work out who's sabotaged The Labour Party
Just spent 15 minutes in my car, mumbling and typing horrifically half-rememebred lyrics into google to try and find a song that was stuck in my head.
Turns out I was looking for 'Existentialism On Prom Night'
Explanations for why this twenty year old, bang average emo ballad was in my head? 🤷♂️
Turns out I was looking for 'Existentialism On Prom Night'
Explanations for why this twenty year old, bang average emo ballad was in my head? 🤷♂️
February 10, 2026 at 5:23 PM
Just spent 15 minutes in my car, mumbling and typing horrifically half-rememebred lyrics into google to try and find a song that was stuck in my head.
Turns out I was looking for 'Existentialism On Prom Night'
Explanations for why this twenty year old, bang average emo ballad was in my head? 🤷♂️
Turns out I was looking for 'Existentialism On Prom Night'
Explanations for why this twenty year old, bang average emo ballad was in my head? 🤷♂️
The audio book I'm listening to is good, the physical book im reading is good, and the story I'm beta reading is also good.
Where do I funnel my overflowing judgemental sass?
Where do I funnel my overflowing judgemental sass?
February 10, 2026 at 11:35 AM
The audio book I'm listening to is good, the physical book im reading is good, and the story I'm beta reading is also good.
Where do I funnel my overflowing judgemental sass?
Where do I funnel my overflowing judgemental sass?
I struggle to get into the Winter Olympics, they feel a bit too Tory.
Im sure it's different in different countries, but here the only people who really get the opportunities to be elite at skiing etc. are rich kids. 🤷♂️
Brilliant, Jonty is smashing it.
Im sure it's different in different countries, but here the only people who really get the opportunities to be elite at skiing etc. are rich kids. 🤷♂️
Brilliant, Jonty is smashing it.
February 10, 2026 at 8:52 AM
I struggle to get into the Winter Olympics, they feel a bit too Tory.
Im sure it's different in different countries, but here the only people who really get the opportunities to be elite at skiing etc. are rich kids. 🤷♂️
Brilliant, Jonty is smashing it.
Im sure it's different in different countries, but here the only people who really get the opportunities to be elite at skiing etc. are rich kids. 🤷♂️
Brilliant, Jonty is smashing it.
Dibs on this one.
“Lobotomy? Loboto-You!”
February 9, 2026 at 8:11 PM
Dibs on this one.
Reposted by David K. Mitchell
The NYT is really trying to cheerlead slop here despite admitting it's bad at writing romance and readers hate it, but the featured slopmonger is confident that eventually she'll wear us all down
“If I can generate a book in a day, and you need six months to write a book, who’s going to win the race?” God this is bleak
The New Fabio Is Claude
www.nytimes.com
February 8, 2026 at 11:31 PM
The NYT is really trying to cheerlead slop here despite admitting it's bad at writing romance and readers hate it, but the featured slopmonger is confident that eventually she'll wear us all down
Life advice: If you're going to shake your protein bottle at your (cluttered) desk, make sure the lid is on.
a close up of a man 's face with the words `` it was everywhere '' written on his face .
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with the words `` it was everywhere '' written on his face .
media.tenor.com
February 9, 2026 at 11:08 AM
Life advice: If you're going to shake your protein bottle at your (cluttered) desk, make sure the lid is on.
People talking earnestly directly down the camera hurts my soul.
How so many people love TikTok and influencers is beyond me. Makes my skin itch.
How so many people love TikTok and influencers is beyond me. Makes my skin itch.
February 8, 2026 at 8:13 PM
People talking earnestly directly down the camera hurts my soul.
How so many people love TikTok and influencers is beyond me. Makes my skin itch.
How so many people love TikTok and influencers is beyond me. Makes my skin itch.
@footballweekly.bsky.social @maxrushden.bsky.social can we have a moment on Neville's insane commentary? Genuine fury at the referee for not ignoring the rules - followed by a, "but I like VAR" addendum.
Really odd stuff. Almost unlistenable at points.
Really odd stuff. Almost unlistenable at points.
February 8, 2026 at 6:43 PM
@footballweekly.bsky.social @maxrushden.bsky.social can we have a moment on Neville's insane commentary? Genuine fury at the referee for not ignoring the rules - followed by a, "but I like VAR" addendum.
Really odd stuff. Almost unlistenable at points.
Really odd stuff. Almost unlistenable at points.