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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom”

@carpetnotbig.bsky.social

89 followers 110 following 970 posts

i am nervous all of the time he/him owns-battle-chess-for-ibm/tandy-on-5.25”-floppy-disk years old header by @bayte.bsky.social icon by @spittyart.bsky.social

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · Mar 4

I should probably have a ref here so until I get a proper one this mess’ll have to do 👀

artwork (going clockwise from top left) by @spittyart.bsky.social @azureangelic.bsky.social @sinfulberry.bsky.social @cri-twisted13.bsky.social and @bayte.bsky.social (except for the picrew/stuff i drew myself)

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

We must look to the red sclera and yellow irises of our forebearers

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

i think i am a neutral party in this case, i fear giving any side enough ammunition to tip the scales towards taking action 😖🍖💦💦

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

does that include the part where friends tease each other about whether they can fit me in their already-overstuffed guts with ribbing that keeps escalating until someone actually does it,,

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

don’t forget the key to being big,,

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 2d

burning this into my retinas so that I can properly envision it with enough detail that i can create the phantom sensation of even a fraction of the pressure you would so easily exert on me 😖😵‍💫😵‍💫💦💦💦

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 2d

GGJFJFJFJ::3&::&XXKCLCKAWMRLCC::////& 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 2d

gazing dreamily at the triangle teeth….….

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 2d

Just wait until her joints break and it turns out her model hasn’t been in production for six years and replacement parts are next to impossible to find

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 2d

gonna need to see the azuresona in that bare midriff fit,,

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Reposted by Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom”

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · Dec 2

It would be hot if you actually just killed me and if I did not enjoy any part of the process and also you are larger than me

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Reposted by Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom”

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · Dec 2

What if you did horrible violence to my body with your body that is larger than my body and I died from the violence and did not come back. What if your body absolutely murdered and obliterated my body and also it was painful and terrifying and I died crying. That would be extremely erotic I think

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Reposted by Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom”

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · Dec 3

It would be so kinky if I were a sobbing trembling wreck because of what you’ve done to me or what you plan to do or what I think you /might/ do and if I flinched at the barest hint of your voice and if horrible despair and helplessness soaked into my bones and warped my body language around you

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Reposted by Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom”

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · Dec 3

Can you imagine how arousing it would be if absolute certainty that I was going to die at your hands or other external or internal anatomy of yours filled my fragile consciousness alongside the realization that unspeakable suffering inflicted by you would fill every remaining moment of my life

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Reposted by Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom”

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · Mar 31

holding me in your hand and idly breaking my bones one by one in the same way that you snap off the tines of a plastic fork after you’re done with it (this scenario relies on the assumption that other people stim in the same way that I do, by breaking handheld disposable things)

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Reposted by Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom”

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · Dec 7

The muffled crunching sounds that interrupt an otherwise wet and gurgly digestive chorus as the muscular walls of the stomach around me squeeze like a tightening fist until my joints pop loose and my bones begin to crack and snap

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 4d

Link to the Past was the first game with jarrable fairies and there after the death animation they appear over your collapsed body and tap a wand twice to revive you

You used to need a net and jar but now you can nab fairies with your bare hands and freeball them in your shorts, powercreep is wild

official artwork of a fairy from LttP; fairies had antennae in Zelda 1 also

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 5d

Dead men tell no tales 🐱

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 5d

The essential and tactical inclusion of a l’il skull icon by the belly (or near the mouth after belch)

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 5d

Feet first is the ideal way to be swallowed because it allows for a final glimpse framed by lips and teeth of a beautiful vibrant world that will be forever lost upon the gullet just behind dragging its morsel kicking and screaming down to a sweltering suffocating lightless abyss ☠️💦💦

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 5d

Boys need a healthy diet of other smaller boys to maintain a healthy pelt and using live boys gives them needed enrichment

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 5d

9–@.&.&.192oee-1&//&:;’doqSkQQWELL AT LEAST I’LL GO OUT HOW I LIVED: having utterly sabotaged myself by skipping over a key set of instructions in my haste that leaves me smothered in compounding problems that soon engulf all thoughts and physicality!!

also while crying and whimpering a lot 😰😖😭😵‍💫☠️💦

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 5d

Okay so I read the second half of this post first so I may as well start with that. …this is a hypothetical, right? I mean I’ve got some butterscotch. What an unusual question

Alright now let me take a look at the first pHJFFk&:#|;HEY WAIT WAIT WAITT WAIJTTJT WAJJTTT’sn/

a bowl of ice cream with caramel sauce being poured on top .

ALT: a bowl of ice cream with caramel sauce being poured on top .

media.tenor.com

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 6d

Douglas Adams is also an excellent source of inspiration for yarns about entire interstellar species being devoured in one mouthful by funny animals

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 6d

Did I accidentally set off this reflecting with my self-reblog spree 👀💦💦 Sorry about that

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Reposted by Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom”

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · Jan 5

Listen I don’t know how to tell you this but I should die pathetically in drawn out agony within your belly. Yeah it was in my horoscope for today. Yeah it specifically named the two of us and said you need to kill me in your gut while I suffer to my last breath. Yeah exactly. Do you want condiments

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