Author | Lightnews

average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 2d

The air fryer doesn’t turn off when opening the door anymore so I have to unplug it or be real fast.

average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 3d

If you use medical marijuana and lose all feeling in your mouth, be sure to ask yourself if you recently used maximum strength sensitive gum toothpaste.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 3d

So there’s a giant 20 mile wide 3i/Atlas comet we’re unable to monitor “because of the government shutdown”, but the president of the United States has admitted he is focused entirely on updating the ballroom (above ground) as well as the presidential bunker (below ground in the very same spot). Hm.

Parks And Rec John Ralphio GIF

Alt: Parks And Rec John Ralphio “don’t be suspicious” cemetery dancing gif

media.tenor.com

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 4d

Oh snap, Scorpio sun *and* moon? You’re hired.

average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 4d

If anyone has a dairy problem, Reese’s Pieces just reformulated and the new ones don’t have any milk. 🙌 Check your packages though.

Picture of the back of two Reese’s Pieces products - one is a movie theater style box that contains peanuts, milk, soy; and below is a large family-style bag of the new ones that only have peanut and soy. 🙌 (praise hands)

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 4d

Snap is what the kids say I think.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 4d

Oh snap you can do ghost notes? They’ll definitely be impressed with that.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 4d

Updating my cv and since nothing matters anymore thinking about including Expert in Beat Saber.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 6d

That is an excellent description.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 6d

what is the formal job title of personality hire

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Reposted by average housewife

balenciaga mcdonalds @femalerespecter69.bsky.social · 6d

back when the economy was better phones had clicky home buttons

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 6d

hope these light photons find you well

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 6d

So he got one of the towers rebuilt?

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Reposted by average housewife

spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 11d

I, for one, welcome our new inflatable frog overlords.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 11d

I save them for sharing when the timing is better. Like, saving one about pie for the holidays.

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Reposted by average housewife

Kinell @sinistercinemastudios.art · 14d

LET'S FUCKING GO

International Day for Failure

Date

Mon, 13 Oct 2025

THE INTERNATIONAL

DAY FOR FAILURE OCTOBER 13th

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 15d

Will do. Thank you so much.

average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 15d

I tagged them in my original post. I hope they see it.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 15d

Thanks. I will. I’ve never even seen a local political billboard not flat-out endorsing/rejecting a specific candidate, which doesn’t seem to hit very effectively in this area. I think if we did an Epstein one that would engage the (many) far right people as well.

average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 15d

Are you saying I should call those people from the news in Alabama to see if they can help me here in Marion?

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 15d

Thanks. Can you please elaborate? I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m also in Marion.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 16d

Thanks. I wonder if anyone has that kind of money and would be willing to donate it to a good cause, like they did for this one in Alabama.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 16d

That’s true. Hopefully they do the larger cities first and save the rural small towns for later.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 16d

In Ocala, Florida?

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Reposted by average housewife

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 16d

I'm like 36% sure it's Saturday

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