Mike Bird
@astronautbread.bsky.social
Progressive Detroiter and MSU Spartan grad. Enjoys Detroit sports, old Marvel comics, and listening to depressing/angry classic punk rock and alternative music. But nothing matters anymore.
Top 5 things to release:
Gas, in a crowded elevator.
The hot new single from your album.
The Kraken!
Comically over-redacted Epstein Files.
Your grip because we'll both die on this mountain it you don't let go.
Gas, in a crowded elevator.
The hot new single from your album.
The Kraken!
Comically over-redacted Epstein Files.
Your grip because we'll both die on this mountain it you don't let go.
December 20, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Top 5 things to release:
Gas, in a crowded elevator.
The hot new single from your album.
The Kraken!
Comically over-redacted Epstein Files.
Your grip because we'll both die on this mountain it you don't let go.
Gas, in a crowded elevator.
The hot new single from your album.
The Kraken!
Comically over-redacted Epstein Files.
Your grip because we'll both die on this mountain it you don't let go.
I bet someone at the DOJ adopted the ERADICATOR personality to help them get through those long nights redacting files.
two tennis players are standing next to each other and the word eradicator is on the bottom
Alt: two racquetball players are casually speaking to each other, while another player leaps into the hallway, announcing himself as the "ERADICATOR!" He wears a black ski mask to conceal his identity
media.tenor.com
December 20, 2025 at 12:08 AM
I bet someone at the DOJ adopted the ERADICATOR personality to help them get through those long nights redacting files.
Dan Campbell has figured out how to run this Detroit Lions offense
a man in a top hat is helping another man in a sweater on top of a snowy mountain
Alt: a man in a top hat gives skiing advice to another man in a sweater on top of a snowy mountain. "Go that way really fast. If something gets in your way- turn."
media.tenor.com
December 14, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Dan Campbell has figured out how to run this Detroit Lions offense
Maximum Overdrive is a top-tier zombie movie.
December 13, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Maximum Overdrive is a top-tier zombie movie.
As a Lions fan, I refuse to pull for either of these teams. Bears? Packers? At least one is going to eat shit tonight. If they both can't lose, I can't win.
December 8, 2025 at 12:17 AM
As a Lions fan, I refuse to pull for either of these teams. Bears? Packers? At least one is going to eat shit tonight. If they both can't lose, I can't win.
Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.
December 7, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.
Reposted by Mike Bird
Victory for MSU! 3-1 over Michigan at Yost!
Final SOG: 33-31 MSU.
Final SOG: 33-31 MSU.
December 7, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Victory for MSU! 3-1 over Michigan at Yost!
Final SOG: 33-31 MSU.
Final SOG: 33-31 MSU.
How many different teams and years of eligibility does Germie Bernard get? Back when he played for Michigan State, I think Hillary Clinton was President.
December 7, 2025 at 12:05 AM
How many different teams and years of eligibility does Germie Bernard get? Back when he played for Michigan State, I think Hillary Clinton was President.
I'm not going to say I called it, but even JJ McCarthy tore up this Lions defense. Dak sucks. Lions rulez!
The Lions best hope tonight- Dak has been awesome this season, but come on. He no good. Water finds level.
December 5, 2025 at 4:40 AM
I'm not going to say I called it, but even JJ McCarthy tore up this Lions defense. Dak sucks. Lions rulez!
Quick Lions response. Now would be a good time for the pass rush to get home. Keep this a double digit lead.
December 5, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Quick Lions response. Now would be a good time for the pass rush to get home. Keep this a double digit lead.
If you want to know how bad the officials have been screwing the #DetroitLions tonight, #SCOTUS ruled 6-3 that the refs are being totally objective
December 5, 2025 at 3:00 AM
If you want to know how bad the officials have been screwing the #DetroitLions tonight, #SCOTUS ruled 6-3 that the refs are being totally objective
My sources say they are erecting a statue of Mel Tucker, sitting at his desk on the phone, wanking
December 5, 2025 at 2:03 AM
My sources say they are erecting a statue of Mel Tucker, sitting at his desk on the phone, wanking
Lions safety. I expected it to be close, still very much look like 2 points, have the broadcast agree, then be overturned anyway.
I hate being so cynical and correct.
BS
I hate being so cynical and correct.
BS
December 5, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Lions safety. I expected it to be close, still very much look like 2 points, have the broadcast agree, then be overturned anyway.
I hate being so cynical and correct.
BS
I hate being so cynical and correct.
BS
Reposted by Mike Bird
The Lions best hope tonight- Dak has been awesome this season, but come on. He no good. Water finds level.
December 5, 2025 at 1:04 AM
The Lions best hope tonight- Dak has been awesome this season, but come on. He no good. Water finds level.
How come so many genX'ers, who grew up watching The Terminator and Indiana Jones, want to create Skynet and become Nazis?
December 4, 2025 at 1:34 AM
How come so many genX'ers, who grew up watching The Terminator and Indiana Jones, want to create Skynet and become Nazis?
Beat Michigan next year and I'll have a party dress on. #GoGreen
Fitzgerald talks about playing MSU in Spartan Stadium and beating Michigan "with a neck roll on" in the 1990s: "That's who I am, I'm a Big Ten guy."
December 3, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Beat Michigan next year and I'll have a party dress on. #GoGreen
Reposted by Mike Bird
December 1, 2025 at 5:56 PM
When I read this in The Onion, I figured it was based on general MAGA misogyny and terrible health care ideas, not an ACTUAL policy. Jokes on me, I guess.
theonion.com/white-house-...
theonion.com/white-house-...
December 1, 2025 at 11:55 AM
When I read this in The Onion, I figured it was based on general MAGA misogyny and terrible health care ideas, not an ACTUAL policy. Jokes on me, I guess.
theonion.com/white-house-...
theonion.com/white-house-...
Jonathan Smith should have been fired after the loss to a garbage Michigan Wolverines team LAST SEASON. He doesn't get the rivalry, or understand the Spartans program. Smith seemed to regret NOT being in Corvallis the moment he took the job, coaching with eyes on the past. Had been quiet quitting.
November 30, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Jonathan Smith should have been fired after the loss to a garbage Michigan Wolverines team LAST SEASON. He doesn't get the rivalry, or understand the Spartans program. Smith seemed to regret NOT being in Corvallis the moment he took the job, coaching with eyes on the past. Had been quiet quitting.