Alt Newt
@altrandall.bsky.social
Snowboarding microbiologist tree-cultist.
Personal account. FBI agents and prospective employers need not apply
Personal account. FBI agents and prospective employers need not apply
Pinned
Permian–Triassic extinction event - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
"The last time the climate warmed by such an amount was tens of millions of year ago."
...And *everything died*. Everything has died every time the planet has warmed that much.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Permian...
...And *everything died*. Everything has died every time the planet has warmed that much.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Permian...
Reposted by Alt Newt
The new player who doesn't know to be suspicious of the DM yet:
Tuesday My Precious GIF
ALT: Tuesday My Precious GIF
media.tenor.com
December 7, 2025 at 1:36 PM
The new player who doesn't know to be suspicious of the DM yet:
I'm honestly surprised at how much chatter there is about these fucking Epstein files on here. Do you still not get how this works?
Congress made the bill. Trump signed the bill. Now he will fucking refuse to follow the law just like he always does and there will be no consequences.
Congress made the bill. Trump signed the bill. Now he will fucking refuse to follow the law just like he always does and there will be no consequences.
December 7, 2025 at 6:44 PM
I'm honestly surprised at how much chatter there is about these fucking Epstein files on here. Do you still not get how this works?
Congress made the bill. Trump signed the bill. Now he will fucking refuse to follow the law just like he always does and there will be no consequences.
Congress made the bill. Trump signed the bill. Now he will fucking refuse to follow the law just like he always does and there will be no consequences.
Reposted by Alt Newt
It's time for us to admit that food trucks are not equipped for events. They work well parked out on the street when people can walk by and order throughout the day, but they are not suited for big crowds. They don't have the capacity. We've been waiting 30 minutes in the cold for fries
December 7, 2025 at 12:02 AM
It's time for us to admit that food trucks are not equipped for events. They work well parked out on the street when people can walk by and order throughout the day, but they are not suited for big crowds. They don't have the capacity. We've been waiting 30 minutes in the cold for fries
Reposted by Alt Newt
this has become a very important video to me
December 7, 2025 at 4:29 AM
this has become a very important video to me
I will never get over what bullshit homework is.
As grown ass adults, the second we walk out the door at work we try to stop thinking about it... But we act like it's some sort of personal failure when kids do the same thing.
K-12 is first and foremost obedience training.
As grown ass adults, the second we walk out the door at work we try to stop thinking about it... But we act like it's some sort of personal failure when kids do the same thing.
K-12 is first and foremost obedience training.
December 6, 2025 at 6:36 PM
I will never get over what bullshit homework is.
As grown ass adults, the second we walk out the door at work we try to stop thinking about it... But we act like it's some sort of personal failure when kids do the same thing.
K-12 is first and foremost obedience training.
As grown ass adults, the second we walk out the door at work we try to stop thinking about it... But we act like it's some sort of personal failure when kids do the same thing.
K-12 is first and foremost obedience training.
An unpleasant epiphany this week: Hitler got away with it.
We don't talk about it because of our own propaganda, but he absolutely did. Motherfucker killed a million Jews, hundreds of thousands of overseas fighters, wrecked Germany and then killed himself on his own terms in a private bunker.
We don't talk about it because of our own propaganda, but he absolutely did. Motherfucker killed a million Jews, hundreds of thousands of overseas fighters, wrecked Germany and then killed himself on his own terms in a private bunker.
December 6, 2025 at 3:32 PM
An unpleasant epiphany this week: Hitler got away with it.
We don't talk about it because of our own propaganda, but he absolutely did. Motherfucker killed a million Jews, hundreds of thousands of overseas fighters, wrecked Germany and then killed himself on his own terms in a private bunker.
We don't talk about it because of our own propaganda, but he absolutely did. Motherfucker killed a million Jews, hundreds of thousands of overseas fighters, wrecked Germany and then killed himself on his own terms in a private bunker.
The latest inflation data is out, and even Trump's team of crack lie craftsman claimed about 3%, which is a lie, and still higher than their targets.
The stock market briefly jumped on Friday, before settling back down after remembering everything Trump says is a lie
www.bea.gov/data/persona...
The stock market briefly jumped on Friday, before settling back down after remembering everything Trump says is a lie
www.bea.gov/data/persona...
Personal Consumption Expenditures Price Index | U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis (BEA)
Personal Consumption Expenditures Price Index
www.bea.gov
December 6, 2025 at 1:26 PM
The latest inflation data is out, and even Trump's team of crack lie craftsman claimed about 3%, which is a lie, and still higher than their targets.
The stock market briefly jumped on Friday, before settling back down after remembering everything Trump says is a lie
www.bea.gov/data/persona...
The stock market briefly jumped on Friday, before settling back down after remembering everything Trump says is a lie
www.bea.gov/data/persona...
Annnnd every student from over at the college is sick & sniffling
December 5, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Annnnd every student from over at the college is sick & sniffling
Reposted by Alt Newt
Pastor Black: While I was in the middle of using the words of Jesus, they opened fire on me. It was so clear that they had been so poorly trained, or — the alternative — that they had been deliberately told to escalate violence against peaceful protesters.
December 5, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Pastor Black: While I was in the middle of using the words of Jesus, they opened fire on me. It was so clear that they had been so poorly trained, or — the alternative — that they had been deliberately told to escalate violence against peaceful protesters.
Reposted by Alt Newt
"ICE is arresting the worst of the worst."
Everything this administration tells us is a lie.
Everything this administration tells us is a lie.
December 4, 2025 at 10:41 PM
"ICE is arresting the worst of the worst."
Everything this administration tells us is a lie.
Everything this administration tells us is a lie.
A Republican PhD boss
*Gives me COVID 2-3 times by insisting on coming into the lab sick repeatedly, despite the fact he has months of PTO banked, out of some sort of workaholism*
*Forced into early retirement*
*Gives me COVID 2-3 times by insisting on coming into the lab sick repeatedly, despite the fact he has months of PTO banked, out of some sort of workaholism*
*Forced into early retirement*
December 4, 2025 at 2:22 AM
A Republican PhD boss
*Gives me COVID 2-3 times by insisting on coming into the lab sick repeatedly, despite the fact he has months of PTO banked, out of some sort of workaholism*
*Forced into early retirement*
*Gives me COVID 2-3 times by insisting on coming into the lab sick repeatedly, despite the fact he has months of PTO banked, out of some sort of workaholism*
*Forced into early retirement*
Clinical startup who never took patient samples, eventually failed
"You can't just make changes to the protocol no matter how much they make sense and are needed. Who are you? You're nobody"
"Firstly, my mom says I'm special. Secondly, hardly anybody is somebody"
Honestly that job was all right
"You can't just make changes to the protocol no matter how much they make sense and are needed. Who are you? You're nobody"
"Firstly, my mom says I'm special. Secondly, hardly anybody is somebody"
Honestly that job was all right
December 4, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Clinical startup who never took patient samples, eventually failed
"You can't just make changes to the protocol no matter how much they make sense and are needed. Who are you? You're nobody"
"Firstly, my mom says I'm special. Secondly, hardly anybody is somebody"
Honestly that job was all right
"You can't just make changes to the protocol no matter how much they make sense and are needed. Who are you? You're nobody"
"Firstly, my mom says I'm special. Secondly, hardly anybody is somebody"
Honestly that job was all right
More funny job shit, microbiology lab where I was being undertrained and rushed through certifications:
"Let me make absolutely sure I understand; you want me to work at whatever pace it takes to make zero mistakes ever?"
"Yes!"
"Got it."
*Shakes her hand, stands up, walks to HR and resigns*
"Let me make absolutely sure I understand; you want me to work at whatever pace it takes to make zero mistakes ever?"
"Yes!"
"Got it."
*Shakes her hand, stands up, walks to HR and resigns*
December 4, 2025 at 2:10 AM
More funny job shit, microbiology lab where I was being undertrained and rushed through certifications:
"Let me make absolutely sure I understand; you want me to work at whatever pace it takes to make zero mistakes ever?"
"Yes!"
"Got it."
*Shakes her hand, stands up, walks to HR and resigns*
"Let me make absolutely sure I understand; you want me to work at whatever pace it takes to make zero mistakes ever?"
"Yes!"
"Got it."
*Shakes her hand, stands up, walks to HR and resigns*
I will never forget conversations with my PhD advisor before I resigned it in disgust after one semester:
"You should think of this as a job."
"...If I had a job where I worked this hard for this little money, I would spend every spare moment looking for a better job."
"You should think of this as a job."
"...If I had a job where I worked this hard for this little money, I would spend every spare moment looking for a better job."
December 4, 2025 at 2:04 AM
I will never forget conversations with my PhD advisor before I resigned it in disgust after one semester:
"You should think of this as a job."
"...If I had a job where I worked this hard for this little money, I would spend every spare moment looking for a better job."
"You should think of this as a job."
"...If I had a job where I worked this hard for this little money, I would spend every spare moment looking for a better job."
Reposted by Alt Newt
Breaking News!
Code UFB!!!
Extent, volume and thickness are three ways to measure Arctic sea-ice. Extent is currently at a record low for the day. Volume hit a record monthly low in each of the last two months.
And "thickness" just set an all-time record low in October.
Code UFB!!!
Extent, volume and thickness are three ways to measure Arctic sea-ice. Extent is currently at a record low for the day. Volume hit a record monthly low in each of the last two months.
And "thickness" just set an all-time record low in October.
December 3, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Breaking News!
Code UFB!!!
Extent, volume and thickness are three ways to measure Arctic sea-ice. Extent is currently at a record low for the day. Volume hit a record monthly low in each of the last two months.
And "thickness" just set an all-time record low in October.
Code UFB!!!
Extent, volume and thickness are three ways to measure Arctic sea-ice. Extent is currently at a record low for the day. Volume hit a record monthly low in each of the last two months.
And "thickness" just set an all-time record low in October.
Reposted by Alt Newt
Capitalists will be better off if YOU have more kids. Demographic decline or collapse, especially absent immigration, is a capitalists' problem. That can be solved if they pay us enough to survive with one breadwinner and one homemaker. And child/health care for all.
December 3, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Capitalists will be better off if YOU have more kids. Demographic decline or collapse, especially absent immigration, is a capitalists' problem. That can be solved if they pay us enough to survive with one breadwinner and one homemaker. And child/health care for all.
Which is AWFUL considering there should have been holidays hiring.
We knew this would happen.
"Everything Trump Touches Dies." - Mary Trump
We knew this would happen.
"Everything Trump Touches Dies." - Mary Trump
Breaking: The US lost 32,000 jobs in November, far worse than expected.
Small businesses were the hardest hit.
Small businesses were the hardest hit.
December 3, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Which is AWFUL considering there should have been holidays hiring.
We knew this would happen.
"Everything Trump Touches Dies." - Mary Trump
We knew this would happen.
"Everything Trump Touches Dies." - Mary Trump
Reposted by Alt Newt
This is your December reminder that it's absolutely acceptable to try and get to a set annual book goal by cramming in as many novellas and cookbooks as you can find before Christmas swallows you up! #booksky 💙📚
December 2, 2025 at 7:16 PM
This is your December reminder that it's absolutely acceptable to try and get to a set annual book goal by cramming in as many novellas and cookbooks as you can find before Christmas swallows you up! #booksky 💙📚
Reposted by Alt Newt
Oh so you don't like Trump's pardons? Let me tell you what we do about it:
Take over Congress in the midterms, impeach him and kick him out, and then make an amendment limiting presidential pardon power. Better yet get rid of it altogether. Ignore his pardons and put these assholes in jail.
Take over Congress in the midterms, impeach him and kick him out, and then make an amendment limiting presidential pardon power. Better yet get rid of it altogether. Ignore his pardons and put these assholes in jail.
December 3, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Oh so you don't like Trump's pardons? Let me tell you what we do about it:
Take over Congress in the midterms, impeach him and kick him out, and then make an amendment limiting presidential pardon power. Better yet get rid of it altogether. Ignore his pardons and put these assholes in jail.
Take over Congress in the midterms, impeach him and kick him out, and then make an amendment limiting presidential pardon power. Better yet get rid of it altogether. Ignore his pardons and put these assholes in jail.
If you're not at least 35, a legal adult at the time, you have no idea just how much better things were back in 2010 than this absolute dumpster fire that passes for society now. We had it so good, but these dumb fucks had to vote for Trump not once but twice. The bad decisions are piling up.
December 3, 2025 at 4:11 AM
If you're not at least 35, a legal adult at the time, you have no idea just how much better things were back in 2010 than this absolute dumpster fire that passes for society now. We had it so good, but these dumb fucks had to vote for Trump not once but twice. The bad decisions are piling up.
Reposted by Alt Newt
RFK Jr: "Two weeks ago we ended, under your leadership, a twenty year war on women".
Three out of five men in this shot have been accused of sexual misconduct, harassment or abusive behaviour towards women. A fourth signed into law a near-total abortion ban in his state as governor.
Three out of five men in this shot have been accused of sexual misconduct, harassment or abusive behaviour towards women. A fourth signed into law a near-total abortion ban in his state as governor.
December 2, 2025 at 6:46 PM
RFK Jr: "Two weeks ago we ended, under your leadership, a twenty year war on women".
Three out of five men in this shot have been accused of sexual misconduct, harassment or abusive behaviour towards women. A fourth signed into law a near-total abortion ban in his state as governor.
Three out of five men in this shot have been accused of sexual misconduct, harassment or abusive behaviour towards women. A fourth signed into law a near-total abortion ban in his state as governor.
Color me unsurprised that the most bumbling evil fascists since ww2 Germany are looking to logarithmically increase censorship on the freest communication platform ever to exist... in open defiance of the Constitution.
December 2, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Color me unsurprised that the most bumbling evil fascists since ww2 Germany are looking to logarithmically increase censorship on the freest communication platform ever to exist... in open defiance of the Constitution.
A reminder every single word, every sentence, you put on the internet, on every platform, is already being put through AI to look for threatening, possibly even "insufficiently patriotic" behavior, no matter how ridiculous it is in context.
You will get cops on your doorstep by running your mouth.
You will get cops on your doorstep by running your mouth.
December 2, 2025 at 9:54 PM
A reminder every single word, every sentence, you put on the internet, on every platform, is already being put through AI to look for threatening, possibly even "insufficiently patriotic" behavior, no matter how ridiculous it is in context.
You will get cops on your doorstep by running your mouth.
You will get cops on your doorstep by running your mouth.
Reposted by Alt Newt
Why are Christmas presents for men so shit? It's either a Millennium Falcon hip flask or 3 fish heads nailed to a stick.
I'm going to get my Dad a selection of shaving spanners with cars on x
I'm going to get my Dad a selection of shaving spanners with cars on x
December 2, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Why are Christmas presents for men so shit? It's either a Millennium Falcon hip flask or 3 fish heads nailed to a stick.
I'm going to get my Dad a selection of shaving spanners with cars on x
I'm going to get my Dad a selection of shaving spanners with cars on x