Anthony D. Herrera
@aherrera.bsky.social
Writer from San Antonio, Tx. My debut novel Aickman: Tales of a Normal Childhood is available now on Amazon: https://a.co/d/h3aCvnK
At Hog Tumors we serve only the juiciest deep-fried swine growths. Cancer? Can Do! We bring out the boar; you pick out the lump. When pig flesh runs riot, make it part of your diet. Hog Tumors. Just down the road from Grandmas. We're there. We've always been there.
November 29, 2025 at 7:02 PM
At Hog Tumors we serve only the juiciest deep-fried swine growths. Cancer? Can Do! We bring out the boar; you pick out the lump. When pig flesh runs riot, make it part of your diet. Hog Tumors. Just down the road from Grandmas. We're there. We've always been there.
My enemy had an army of skeletons, so I brought an army of chiropractors.
November 29, 2025 at 7:57 AM
My enemy had an army of skeletons, so I brought an army of chiropractors.
Whenever I look in a mirror I always say a few nice things so that maybe this time the me in the mirror will finally show me the baby duck that I know for certain he is hiding in that brown paper bag he never acknowledges.
November 29, 2025 at 7:30 AM
Whenever I look in a mirror I always say a few nice things so that maybe this time the me in the mirror will finally show me the baby duck that I know for certain he is hiding in that brown paper bag he never acknowledges.
My nephew really wants a Slender Man doll for Christmas but all I can afford is this knock off called Svelte Eric and I just feel like such a failure.
November 29, 2025 at 7:29 AM
My nephew really wants a Slender Man doll for Christmas but all I can afford is this knock off called Svelte Eric and I just feel like such a failure.
The tire shop's got a new Dasani vending machine if anybody wants to meet up later.
November 29, 2025 at 7:28 AM
The tire shop's got a new Dasani vending machine if anybody wants to meet up later.
True Story: Dad just dropped by to give me some gel that farmers use on their arthritic horses. He says it feels amazing.
November 28, 2025 at 5:26 PM
True Story: Dad just dropped by to give me some gel that farmers use on their arthritic horses. He says it feels amazing.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
Talking to my neighbor. We were comparing horse bites when an unidentified white male in his early 20s approached and handed us each a trophy. His trophy said 1st. My trophy said 2nd. Though it was clearly a scheme by our enemies to divide us, it was also clearly working.
November 27, 2024 at 9:24 PM
Talking to my neighbor. We were comparing horse bites when an unidentified white male in his early 20s approached and handed us each a trophy. His trophy said 1st. My trophy said 2nd. Though it was clearly a scheme by our enemies to divide us, it was also clearly working.
But seriously, we all know what this Holiday is really about: The Demons that live in our sewers and feast on our heinous American shit.
November 28, 2025 at 2:46 AM
But seriously, we all know what this Holiday is really about: The Demons that live in our sewers and feast on our heinous American shit.
God Damnit, accidentally brought the turkey back to life with my powers.
November 27, 2025 at 10:04 PM
God Damnit, accidentally brought the turkey back to life with my powers.
Thanksgiving Tip: Don’t say what you’re grateful for out loud because God will just take it from you.
November 27, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Thanksgiving Tip: Don’t say what you’re grateful for out loud because God will just take it from you.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
Staying up all night with my shotgun and pills making sure The Giving Goblin doesn’t sneak in though the shower drain and fuck our turkey before dawn as is Thanksgiving Eve tradition.
November 27, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Staying up all night with my shotgun and pills making sure The Giving Goblin doesn’t sneak in though the shower drain and fuck our turkey before dawn as is Thanksgiving Eve tradition.
Staying up all night with my shotgun and pills making sure The Giving Goblin doesn’t sneak in though the shower drain and fuck our turkey before dawn as is Thanksgiving Eve tradition.
November 27, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Staying up all night with my shotgun and pills making sure The Giving Goblin doesn’t sneak in though the shower drain and fuck our turkey before dawn as is Thanksgiving Eve tradition.
Garbanzo beans? More like Garbozo beans. Looking and tasting like unexploded cysts dug out of your human body. Get out of my life you dumb beans.
November 26, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Garbanzo beans? More like Garbozo beans. Looking and tasting like unexploded cysts dug out of your human body. Get out of my life you dumb beans.
The reason I'm poor is because 7 years ago I used up my savings to pay an editor to create several super-realistic vids that made it look like I was really good at lacrosse in order to back up the weirdest lie I ever told a co-worker.
November 26, 2025 at 7:40 PM
The reason I'm poor is because 7 years ago I used up my savings to pay an editor to create several super-realistic vids that made it look like I was really good at lacrosse in order to back up the weirdest lie I ever told a co-worker.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
Thanksgiving Tip: Not in front of Grandma. Never in front of Grandma. We must keep from Grandma everything that we do and are. Put a metaphorical potato sack over Grandma's head through subterfuge and words unspoken.
November 26, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Thanksgiving Tip: Not in front of Grandma. Never in front of Grandma. We must keep from Grandma everything that we do and are. Put a metaphorical potato sack over Grandma's head through subterfuge and words unspoken.
Thanksgiving Tip: Not in front of Grandma. Never in front of Grandma. We must keep from Grandma everything that we do and are. Put a metaphorical potato sack over Grandma's head through subterfuge and words unspoken.
November 26, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Thanksgiving Tip: Not in front of Grandma. Never in front of Grandma. We must keep from Grandma everything that we do and are. Put a metaphorical potato sack over Grandma's head through subterfuge and words unspoken.
Back in '94 I got suspended from school for 2 weeks for writing Ace Of Base Rulez on the principal's dumbass face.
November 26, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Back in '94 I got suspended from school for 2 weeks for writing Ace Of Base Rulez on the principal's dumbass face.
Tired of all my bros lying to me about going on grand adventures so I'll lend them my brass spyglass when really they're just using it to watch their kids play with their new dads from a discreet distance.
November 26, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Tired of all my bros lying to me about going on grand adventures so I'll lend them my brass spyglass when really they're just using it to watch their kids play with their new dads from a discreet distance.
Facebook has reminded me of an argument that took place at the call center I worked at 14 years ago. The argument was between a gay male co-worker and our lady boss. The substance of the argument was simply GAY MEN Vs. WOMEN: WHO IS WORSE?
November 25, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Facebook has reminded me of an argument that took place at the call center I worked at 14 years ago. The argument was between a gay male co-worker and our lady boss. The substance of the argument was simply GAY MEN Vs. WOMEN: WHO IS WORSE?
Christmas Disco Medley For Those Who Celebrate www.youtube.com/watch?v=RncP...
The Salsoul Orchestra - Christmas Medley (HQ/Vinyl)
YouTube video by ulladubullab
www.youtube.com
November 25, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Christmas Disco Medley For Those Who Celebrate www.youtube.com/watch?v=RncP...
When I was little, I used to pretend that the round baubles on the Christmas tree were tiny Universes where billions of people lived and whenever one broke that meant that those billions of people died and so by that logic, our cats were some of the worst mass murderers in history.
November 25, 2025 at 3:20 AM
When I was little, I used to pretend that the round baubles on the Christmas tree were tiny Universes where billions of people lived and whenever one broke that meant that those billions of people died and so by that logic, our cats were some of the worst mass murderers in history.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
If you let the Dominos delivery tracker just keep running, it'll start telling you all the fucked up shit the delivery driver does with the rest of their day.
November 21, 2025 at 8:45 PM
If you let the Dominos delivery tracker just keep running, it'll start telling you all the fucked up shit the delivery driver does with the rest of their day.
Here's a true Story: 8 years ago, we gave the remains of the Thanksgiving turkey to our dog Lt. Dan (RIP) and he stripped it good but then brought the skeleton to the backyard door and, using his mouth, purposefully filled the carcass with grass cuttings and a piece of fluff from one of his toys.
November 24, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Here's a true Story: 8 years ago, we gave the remains of the Thanksgiving turkey to our dog Lt. Dan (RIP) and he stripped it good but then brought the skeleton to the backyard door and, using his mouth, purposefully filled the carcass with grass cuttings and a piece of fluff from one of his toys.
Just got the news: My friend Kevin was fucked to death by the Charmin Bears in a Wendy's bathroom. It’s how he always wished to die. I am grateful to those coprophiliac bears for making dreams come true in these dark times.
November 24, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Just got the news: My friend Kevin was fucked to death by the Charmin Bears in a Wendy's bathroom. It’s how he always wished to die. I am grateful to those coprophiliac bears for making dreams come true in these dark times.
Being new to pecan pie, I had no understanding of just how much sugar is crammed into it nor the cumulative effect it would have on my body such that I currently feel as though I am less than human but more than a God. If this is what death feels like, then I am truly afraid.
November 24, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Being new to pecan pie, I had no understanding of just how much sugar is crammed into it nor the cumulative effect it would have on my body such that I currently feel as though I am less than human but more than a God. If this is what death feels like, then I am truly afraid.