Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 5h

The cure to the male loneliness epidemic is 1980s PC-compatible business software. Less Andrew Tate, more Ashton-Tate…

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Eric Weinberger @ericweinberger.bsky.social · 7h

ICE sent a Massachusetts 7th grader 500 miles away without his parents or even telling them

Everett 13-year-old arrested by ICE and sent to Virginia detention facility - The Boston Globe

The boy’s mother, Josiele Berto, was called to pick her son up from the Everett Police Department on Thursday, the day he was arrested.

www.bostonglobe.com

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 9h

It would rule to be a dour, late 19th century New England prohibitionist who—every day—got massively lit on opium-based cold remedies and original recipe Moxie. Talk about playing both sides and always coming out on top…

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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 15h

the whole tron setting doesn't really make sense. why is the computer run by a fascist dictator? (sees my laptop updates weren't installed because some background software refused to quit) kill that program. kill it now. kill that program immediately

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more mr. dice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 18h

Merchant DESTROYS haggler

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 1d

guess I’ll go with the next closest thing: “socialite”

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 1d

I need to enter an occupation for this credit card application. Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be an option for ghostwriting “I Hope They Screen ‘Cape Fear’ In Hell: The Tucker Max Guide to Cinema” in 2011 and living off the modest publishing royalties ever since…

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Mark Harris @markharris.bsky.social · 1d

Terribly sad news about one of the greats. Diane Keaton has died at 79.
people.com/diane-keaton...

Diane Keaton, Famed for Roles in 'Father of the Bride,' 'First Wives Club' and More, Dies at 79 (Exclusive)

Diane Keaton has died at age 79. Keaton was best known for roles in movies like 'Annie Hall,' 'The First Wives Club,' 'Something's Gotta Give' and 'The Godfather.'

people.com

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 1d

Received some bad news this morning. Leaders of all world faiths released a joint statement pronouncing that I, personally, am not an ensouled being. This is in light of leaked IHOP CCTV footage in which I gratingly refer to breakfast sandwiches as “breakie sammies” and pancakes as “flappy jays”

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 1d

“Nothing INXS”
Instructions to a wedding DJ
🤝
Inscription at the Delphic Temple of Apollo

Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 2d

Can’t believe my favorite commedians dell'arte performed for the gran maestro of Florence. I’ll never again take seriously the Harlequin’s claim to hold a subversive mirror to the rich and powerful’s foibles…

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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 2d

oops

Text from news report:

“Tensions between Venezuela and America soared following the attack, but Machado insisted to The Sunday Times that Trump was right to bomb the boat.
"I totally support his strategy," Machado said.
"And I've said on behalf of the Venezuelan people that we are very grateful. I think it is the right thing to do. It's courageous. It's visionary."”

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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 2d

[bitterly] No one’s ever given ME bubble enrichment

ContempraInn 🌹 @contemprainn.bsky.social · 4d

At the Saint Louis Zoo, one-year-old rockhopper penguin Bumi had a blast with bubble enrichment! Keepers set up a bubble machine for the indoor habitat at Penguin & Puffin Coast for a fun bubble party!! 🫧🥳🫧 #WildlifeWednesday

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 2d

Starting an off-brand knockoff of the Church of Scientology. Call me Temu Xenu…

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 2d

what’s up with the punctuation, and with every sentence starting with “and,” “but,” or “so?“ This is how undergrads write

Oliver Darcy @oliverdarcy.bsky.social · 2d

Here's the full memo.

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L @banalplay.bsky.social · 2d

You can always tell people who didn't work their way up through real jobs and manage based on the dumbest ideas they've heard of other terrible bosses doing.

Oliver Darcy @oliverdarcy.bsky.social · 2d

Here's the full memo.

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L @banalplay.bsky.social · 2d

Trump is team Maduro now

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 3d

the Celtics were horrible for most of my youth (first clear memory of them was Acie Earl’s revenge game). But Mike and Tommy taught me an important life lesson: if you’re clever, you can make a bad product fun and interesting. They thus gave me the confidence to go on dates

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 3d

My favorite time of the year on Twitter (RIP) was the late offseason when players/former players posted dumb, non-NBA-related stuff. That and bored fans born in 2009 sharing highlight reels with revisionist history like “Stromile Swift was a PROBLEM” (yes, for the team that drafted him 2nd overall)

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Classical Studies Memes for Hellenistic Teens @csmfht.bsky.social · 3d

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Emissary Of Night | ليلى @diplomatofnight.com · 3d

Netanyahu's mouthpiece, Amit Segal, casually admits on Twitter that his country has been holding 1,700 people from Gaza hostage, including children.

Among other things, according to the decision:

- 250 security prisoners will be released.
- 1,700 residents of the Gaza Strip who were not involved in the events of October 7 and were arrested after the massacre will be released.
- 22 minors under the age of 18, residents of the Gaza Strip who were not involved in the events of October 7 and were arrested after the massacre, will be released.
- 360 bodies of terrorists will be returned.

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 5d

Working on material for my upcoming Netflix comedy special: “The Millennial Tax Dodger.” The municipal treasurer put my name on a lien certificate? Weird flex, but OK. Guess I’m living ad-valorem-assessment-free inside his head…

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Nurbsy @nurbsy.bsky.social · 5d

Ladies and mythbusters,

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Ersatz Cliff @www.cliffordvickrey.com · 6d

I’m tired of American fascism. If we *have* to revive bullshit from European history, could we at least have done the Inquisition? I would‘ve cashed in by opening a greasy homestyle restaurant, ”Auto bu-fé”

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Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 6d

You just got beat by a time traveler from the 1910s

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